


Gravity

by benevolentfairymagic



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, I don't know, Lots of Angst, M/M, Oral Sex, There's crying, and kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-03-21 18:23:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 53,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3701885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benevolentfairymagic/pseuds/benevolentfairymagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry breaks up with Niall after a three year relationship. They run into each other a few years later, feelings happen. This story has a lot of feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I'm in the middle of writing another fic, but I couldn't get this out of my head so I decided to start it before I was finished with my other one. I will keep updating both regularly, but the other one will probably get more frequent updates than this one until I'm finished with the first. 
> 
> Sorry in advance about any sadness you might experience reading this.

Niall was just grabbing a bottle of water out of his fridge when he heard the jingling of keys in his front door. He glanced at his watch, confused. Harry wasn't supposed to be coming over until later, had told Niall he was going to be busy most of the day. Niall walked into the living room just as the door swung open. "Hey Haz," he said, as Harry shut and re-locked the door before toeing off his boots. "Thought you weren't supposed to be coming over til later."

"Change of plans." He answered, shrugging off his coat and tossing it on the sofa. He crossed the room towards Niall and wrapped his arms around his waist, leaning in for a kiss, then pulling back ever so slightly, lips grazing Niall's as he spoke. "Hi baby." He brought a hand up to Niall's face, kissing him again. He used his thumb to gently pull down on his chin, causing him to part his lips. He licked into Niall's mouth and pressed against him, hand splayed across his lower back, holding him close. It felt desperate.

Niall brought his hands up to rest against Harry's chest, and pushed him back slightly. He could feel his heart beating erratically under his fingertips. He was searching Niall's eyes intensely, an unreadable expression on his face. "Harry? Is everything alright?"

"I love you Niall," he said instead of answering. Niall slid his arms around Harry's waist, and Harry pressed his face into Niall's neck.

"I love you too, Haz." They stayed like that for a while, Niall holding onto Harry, Harry's face hidden in the crook of Niall's neck. Three years of dating and two years of friendship before that, and Niall had never seen Harry like this. He had seen Harry upset, sure. But this was different. He seemed unstable and nervous. He was always so calm, even when he was upset. But not right now. It was scaring Niall. When Harry finally pulled back, he took one of Niall's hands in his own and looked down at their entwined fingers.

"Can we talk?" He asked, gaze still focused on their hands. Something about the strain in Harry's voice when he spoke, and the way he was avoiding Niall's eyes had Niall's heart sinking down into his stomach, and his throat constricting.

"Harry?"

"I think" he said, eyes finally meeting Niall's, "I think we should--" he trailed off and swallowed, looking away again.

Niall could feel the heat rising into his checks, could feel his face flushing. He clutched at Harry's hand that was still holding his own. He forced himself to breathe. "Harry..."

Harry's eyes met his again, and his green eyes were dark and shiny. "I think we should break up."

Niall needed to sit down or he was going to fall over or possibly be sick. He dropped Harry's hand and walked over to the sofa, sinking down into it. He bowed his head into his hands, he hadn't even realized he had started crying until he felt the wetness of his eyes pressed against his palms. He let out a sob. The couch dipped next to him and suddenly there was a hand rubbing soothing circles into his back. "Please don't touch me," he said. And he had meant for it to come out stronger, but his voice just sounded broken. He wanted Harry to leave, wanted him to go so he wouldn't see him like this, but the thought of Harry walking out the door had him choking on the realization that when he left, he wouldn't be coming back. He was vaguely aware of a distraught Harry next to him, begging Niall to please please let him hold him. And eventually he gave in, he let Harry pull him into his arms and Niall buried his face in his chest, breaths coming out in small gasps. He clung to Harry's shirt, he felt like if he didn't hold onto something he'd float away, felt like his whole world was falling apart around him, felt like he couldn't breathe.

"You need to breathe," Harry said softly, "Look at me, Ni." Reluctantly, He raised his head to look at Harry. Harry brought his hands up to Niall's face, and wiped away his tears with his thumbs.

"Don't leave me," he whispered. And that was all it took for the unshed tears that had been swimming in Harry's eyes to spill over. "We can work this out, right? If it's something I did wrong I can-- I can fix it."

He shook his head. "It's not like that, you didn't do anything wrong, you've been so so great." Tears were still streaming silently down his checks and Niall reached out to wipe them away. Harry leaned into his touch. "I'm certain that I'll always love you, Niall. Certain that there's always going to be a place in my heart just for you. And even when I'm old and grey and can barely remember my own name, I'll still remember the first boy I loved. I just-- I'm not ready for this to be it. I need to take some time for myself and see what's out there. I never wanted to hurt you, and I want you to know that this was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. You've been the light in my life since the day I met you, I hope you never doubt that. Never doubt how much you've meant to me." He leaned forward to kiss Niall's forehead, and Niall wrapped his arms around Harry once more.

"Can I ask you something?" Niall asked, nuzzling his face into Harry's neck, breathing in his scent, trying to memorize the deep smell of sandalwood and lavender.

"Sure. Anything."

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

**********************

Harry looked into Niall's watery blue eyes, he wanted to say no. Wanted to tell Niall staying the night was a bad idea, but he couldn't. Couldn't leave him like this, not yet. He didn't know what he had expected to happen when he had made the decision to break up with Niall, but it wasn't this. He'd known Niall would be upset of course, had expected some crying and objections, but not on this level. Hadn't expected the desperation, or the completely broken sound of his voice. The look on his face like Harry had just destroyed his whole world. Thought the break up would be amicable, they hadn't been fighting, didn't have any problems, Harry had just wanted out. Thought that maybe they could still be friends after this. But he had watched the way Niall's face dropped when he had realized Harry was breaking up with him, and instantly knew things wouldn't be like that. Knew that this was it. The thought of having Niall out of his life for good, never having another chance to talk to him about everything and nothing, joke around with him, or make him smile sort of made Harry's heart feel like it was breaking into a million pieces.

He reached out and traced his thumb across Niall's bottom lip, desperately wishing there was something he could say or do that would make the sad boy in front of him smile. Harry loved his smile, it lit up his entire face, in their relationship Harry had always tried to keep Niall smiling. He'd probably never see him smile again. His heart ached. "I'll stay with you tonight," he said, searching Niall's eyes, wondering exactly what it was he expected from the night. He got his answer in the form of Niall surging forward and kissing him hard on the mouth, teeth nipping at his bottom lip, sucking on Harry's tongue as soon as his mouth was open. Hands were fisted in his hair, tugging at his curls and Harry moaned into Niall's mouth, running his hands up Niall's back, under his shirt.

Niall was straddling Harry's lap now, rolling his hips down, breaking their kiss to nip down Harry's jaw to his neck, biting down hard and sucking, leaving what Harry could only imagine would be a lasting, sizeable mark. He licked over the spot at the same time he ground his hips down hard into Harry's, and they both let out moans, Niall breathing heavily against Harry's neck. "Bed," Harry gasped, and Niall climbed off of him, took his hand and led him down the hall to his room. The desperate mood from before had changed drastically, and as they stood in front of Niall's bed facing each other, hands entertained, Niall's eyes were once again shining with tears.

"You better make this good, Styles," he said, and Harry planned on it. He leaned forward and kissed Niall softly, slowly parting his lips with his tongue, taking his time exploring Niall's mouth, sliding their tongues together. He had one hand cupping the back of Niall's neck, the other resting on his side under his shirt, thumb rubbing against smooth skin. They kissed like that, slow and sweet, for a long time until Harry broke away and pushed Niall gently down onto he bed. He slid back until his head rested on the pillows, and Harry climbed on top of him. He kissed his forehead, his checks, his nose, his eyes fluttered shut and he kissed each of his eyelids, still salty from the tears. He kissed his chin, and left a chaste kiss on his lips, moving down to kiss along his neck, sucking briefly at his Adam's apple. He moved further down his torso, pushing his t-shirt up and leaving a line of kisses along his lower abdomen, right above his jeans. He was aware of Niall watching him as he pushed Niall's shirt up under his armpits, and licked a stripe up his belly. He kissed a trail over to his left nipple and sucked it into his mouth, bringing his hand up to thumb over his right, tugging on it slightly. Niall let out a moan, and bucked his hips up. Harry sat back, and tugged Niall's shirt completely off before discarding his own.

He let his eyes roam over Niall's body, enjoying the blush that crept up his chest when he stared for a beat too long. If this was going to be the last time he got to see Niall like this, he was going to take full advantage of the situation. He was suddenly very glad Niall had asked him to stay with him tonight. It had been two days since they had had sex, the last time being a quick blow job and a reciprocal hand job before Niall had had to leave for work. It hadn't been bad, but it had been rushed, and Harry hadn't taken the time to fully appreciate Niall's body then. But thinking about how this would be the last time they'd be together like this kind of made it hard for Harry to breathe, so instead he got to work stripping Niall of his pants, undoing the button and zip, and pulling them down his legs. Niall kicked them the rest of the way off, and Harry locked eyes with him as he leaned down to mouth at Niall's hard length through the fabric of his black boxer briefs. "Haz," Niall breathed, running a hand through Harry's hair. "Touch me." Slowly he pulled Niall's boxer briefs down, stopping when they were off to strip himself of his own pants and taking the time to dig through Niall's bedside drawer for the lube. When he looked back at the bed, Niall was stroking himself slowly, eyes fixed on Harry. 

"Didn't say you could touch," Harry said, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching out a hand to circle Niall's wrist, successfully stopping his strokes. Niall groaned and bit his bottom lip.

"Need you to touch me," he said, withdrawing his hand to run it through his hair, making it stick up at odd angles. "Need you." And Harry could barely handle the look of desperation mingled with a sort of stubborn resolution that clouded his blue eyes, normally so bright.

"I've got you," Harry answered, and if Niall had noticed the break in Harry's voice, he didn't mention it. He settled himself in the space between Niall's legs and ran his hands up his thighs, pushing them further apart. he leaned down and kissed the inside of his right thigh, then his left. He reached up and pulled a pillow from the head of the bed and Niall lifted up enough to let Harry slide it under him, propping his hips up. He popped the cap of the lube open and spread it generously on his fingers, he took the head of Niall's cock into his mouth and teased a finger over his fluttering hole. Niall let out a small gasp, and moaned loudly has Harry flicked his tongue over the slit. He slowly pushed his finger into Niall, Niall letting out a hiss, and then moaning again as Harry took his length further into his mouth. Niall had always been very vocal in bed. He could remember having to cover Niall's mouth with his hand the first time he had fingered him, they had been sixteen, shut in Harry's childhood room hoping his mom wouldn't hear. Now they were ninteen and Niall had his own apartment and Harry no longer had to cover his mouth. But none of that really mattered anymore because Harry was leaving. He pushed his finger the rest of the way in and waited briefly for Niall to adjust before he started moving it in and out, he kept up a steady pace, adding a second finger and swallowing around Niall's dick. Niall threaded his fingers through Harry's curls and tugged on them, the sensation going straight to his leaking cock. He moaned around Niall before letting him slide out of his mouth. He added a third finger, and Niall cried out when Harry mouthed over his balls. 

"Harry, Harry, please." he gasped, tugging once more at Harry's hair. Harry looked up at him and continued to slowly thrust his fingers in and out. "Please," he begged, bucking his hips. "Please, please, need you inside of me." he was panting and grinding his hips down, Harry had purposely avoided making direct contact with his prostate, knew Niall was trying to make him touch it, looking for release. He pulled his fingers out of Niall, causing him to let out a whine, and stood up to pull his own boxers off, letting his own hard, leaking cock spring up against his stomach. 

He took in the sight of Niall before him, he was always so beautiful like this, panting and desperate for Harry. Pale skin slick with sweat, body open and laid out just for him. Harry had had sex before Niall, but Harry had been Niall's first. First kiss, first sexual experience, first everything. Seeing Niall spread out like this before him had him realizing that when he left someone else would take his place. Someone else would be granted permission to touch Niall in places only Harry had ever been, the thought had Harry shaking. Niall had only ever been his, and now, now he was letting him go. 

He climbed back on top of Niall, and leaned down to capture his lips in a biting kiss. He reached down and lined himself up with Niall's hole, pushing in slowly giving Niall time to adjust. By the time he bottomed out, Niall was trying to roll his hips up. "Come on, Haz. Just go, want to feel you. 'M ready, please, please" so Harry pulled part way out before snapping his hips forward, and working up a steady rhythm. And when Niall called out and threw his head back, Harry new he had hit his prostate and carefully kept up the angle, thrusting harder when Niall begged for it. Niall came first, untouched, nails scraping down Harry's back, screaming out his name. Harry followed shortly after, thrusting into Niall through his orgasm and collapsing on top of him. 

As Harry lay there trying to catch his breath, it took him a second to realize Niall was crying, arms wound tightly around Harry, clinging. Carefully he pulled out of Niall, and when he went to get up, Niall grabbed at him, "Please don't go, not yet." His eyes were wide, tears spilling over silently, falling down the sides of his rosy cheeks. Harry could feel tears prickling in his own eyes. 

"I'm not, not yet. Just wanna get you cleaned up, yeah? I'll be right back." When he came back with a warm, wet cloth, Niall was curled on his side, face pressed into a pillow. Gently he wiped up Niall's stomach, his thighs, and between his legs. He tossed the cloth into a pile of dirty clothes and climbed into the bed behind Niall, spooning him, arms holding him tightly around the middle. Niall pressed back against him, and Harry kissed the back of his neck. "I love you," he whispered, brushing his nose through Niall's hair. He was starting to feel panic at having to leave, didn't know how he was supposed to walk away from Niall. 

Niall sniffed, "I love you too, Harry. Always. Okay?" he was shaking in Harry's arms. 

"Okay." Neither of them said anything after that. Harry waited until he was sure Niall had been sleeping for a while before he quietly slid out of bed and got dressed. After pulling his shirt on, he sat down on the bed and studied Niall's sleeping form. It wasn't the first time Harry had watched Niall sleep, but it was the last. His chest constricted painfully and he knew he needed to leave before the sob that was threatening to climb up his throat came out. He didn't want to have to leave when Niall was awake. Didn't want to see the look on his face as he walked out the door. So he brushed some of Niall's bleach blonde hair off his forehead before leaning down to kiss him, he let his lips linger over Niall's skin briefly and then stood up. 

In the kitchen he found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote out a short note, "Never stop smiling, you're the best of us. Love always, -H." he left the spare keys to Niall's apartment next to the note, picked his coat up off the sofa where he had dropped it earlier, and left. As soon as he closed the apartment door behind him, the finality of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks. He had left Niall. He and Niall were over. The beautiful, sweet boy he had spent the past three years loving was no longer going to be a part of his life. He let out a sob and wiped at the tears falling from his eyes. This is what he had wanted. Needed to be alone, needed to find himself and discover the world, and he had convinced himself he couldn't do that with Niall by his side. So he left Niall's apartment building and cried the whole way home, trying to tell himself he hadn't made a mistake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's started reading this! This update isn't particularly long, but I hope it's enough to keep you going until I have time to write more. :)

Niall was standing in the pasta aisle of the super market wondering why there had to be so many different types of noodles. With such a wide selection, how was he supposed to know which kind to get? And why had he thought it would be a good idea to surprise Tyler with a home cooked meal for their two year anniversary instead of taking him out for dinner? He picked up a box of pinwheels and stared down at them. After a few seconds contemplation he decided pinwheels probably weren't fancy enough. Could noodles even be fancy? If they could, pinwheels definitely weren't making it. He set them back down on the shelf and picked up another box, this one had multi colored spiral noodles in it. They looked like something a child would make macaroni art with, he shook his head and put those back on the shelf too. He looked around a bit more and then spotted noodles shaped like little bow ties. What was fancier than a bow tie? Satisfied, he placed the bow tie pasta in his basket and headed off to look for a decent bottle of wine.

He was just rounding the corner of the aisle when a solid body ran into his own. Taking a step back he started to apologize, but the words died on his lips when he properly took in the man standing in front of him. He was taller than when Niall had seen him last, broader too, and his curly hair fell down to his shoulders. "Harry?" Niall breathed, taking another step back, barely able to comprehend what was happening. It had been four years since Harry had left him, four years since he woke up painfully alone to find Harry's spare keys laid out on the counter of his old apartment next to a bullshit goodbye note. Four years since he had called Liam crying, and Liam had come over immediately, and then Zayn showed up and later a very angry Louis who had reported that Harry was leaving. Had just finished packing up some of his belongings, told Louis he wouldn't be back for a while, and left. And as far as Niall had known, "a while" had equated to the past four years.

"Niall?" Harry asked, face spreading into a grin, looking decidedly more happy to see Niall than Niall felt about seeing him. "I've only been back for a few hours, can't believe I literally ran into you." He laughed a little. "How have you been?"

"I, uh, good. I've been good." Niall kind of wanted to sprint out of the store and pretend this wasn't happening. The last time he had seen Harry, Harry had completely destroyed his heart. And now here he was four years later talking to Niall as if they were old friends. He wanted to run, but his feet stayed rooted to the spot.

"You look good," Harry commented offhandedly, and then gestured at the assortment of ingredients in Niall's basket. "Chicken Alfredo? Interesting noodle choice, won't affect the flavor though."

"Yeah, I'm uh, making dinner. For my boyfriend. Never really made it before."

And if the expression on Harry's face clouded over a bit when Niall mentioned the word "boyfriend," Niall pretended not to notice.

"Oh, that's nice. Really nice. Special occasion then?" And his face was bright again, had only experienced a seconds worth of cloudiness.

Niall nodded. "Two year anniversary."

And again, if Harry's face darkened, Niall pretended not to notice. "Wow, congratulations. Who's the lucky guy?"

"His name's Tyler." Niall could almost see Harry trying to think, recall if he had known any Tyler's from when he had last been here. "You--you wouldn't know him."

"Right. Well, I'd better let you get back to your shopping then. Have a good anniversary, Niall. I'll see you around."

"Thanks," Niall said. Harry nodded, and with that he walked away. Niall was still in shock as he picked out his wine, thought he barely breathed as the cashier rang out his purchases, had practically ran out to his car once his groceries were bagged. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through to Liam's contact, thankful when Liam answered on the second ring.

"Hey Ni, what's up?"  
"Liam."  
"Yeah?"  
"I was just out shopping for dinner, you know I'm making dinner for Tyler tonight?"  
"Yeah."  
"And I ran into Harry. Literally. Ran right into him."  
"You ran into Harry? As in your asshole ex boyfriend Harry Styles?"  
"Yes, that one."  
"Are you okay?"  
Niall let out a breath. "I guess. I don't know. Don't really know how to feel about it."  
"Did you talk to him?"  
"A bit, yeah. He did most of the talking, and I just sorta answered. He was talking to me like we were old friends or something. It just... Was weird. I dunno."  
"Did he say what he was doing back in town?"  
"No, he didn't really say anything about himself. Did mention something about how he'd just gotten back a few hours ago, though."  
"Huh. I wonder what he's doing here."  
"Yeah, I dunno. Don't really feel like running into him all over town though."  
"Maybe it won't be so bad? It's been a long time."  
"Yeah, maybe."  
"I gotta go, Zayn's gonna be home in a few minutes and we're going to see a movie. You have fun with Tyler tonight, okay?"  
"Yeah, I will. Talk to you later Li."  
"Bye."

Maybe Liam was right, it had been a long time. Maybe seeing Harry around every once in a while wouldn't be so weird. He tried to convince himself it would be fine, but he couldn't shake the feeling that his life was about to get weird.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There's a very tiny bit of alcohol use in this chapter.

"Styles." 

Harry looked up at the man standing in front of the booth he had claimed for them at the local bar. His hair was longer than when he had last seen him, and his face scruffier. But his scowl was the same. Arms crossed over his chest, eyes narrowed. 

"Hey, Lou." Harry replied, smiling uncertainly. Louis rolled his eyes and slid into the booth across from him. 

"Come on then, start talking. Turn on that charm of yours and make me forgive you." 

"I'm sorry?" Harry tried.

"For?" 

"Leaving you without a roommate." 

"Right, because that was my biggest concern." 

"Leaving my best friend to live alone without any warning. Not calling. Disappearing for four years without any contact. Being an overall asshole. I really am sorry Lou, I thought of you everyday. Missed you everyday. And not just you, the others as well. Liam, Zayn, Niall..." Harry trailed off and Louis waved a waiter over. He ordered them two beers each and turned his attention back to Harry.

"I missed you too. I can't speak for the others, they had their own things to deal with, your leaving was hard on everyone. I was surprised when you called, H, but I wasn't unhappy. If I decide you haven't become a completely awful human in the four years you've been gone I'd like to have you in my life again. But like I said, I can only speak for myself. Don't expect the others to feel the same. Especially Niall and Liam." 

"I saw him earlier. Niall. Ran into him at the grocery store."

"So I've heard."

"Liam?"

"Liam."

"When Niall said he was making an anniversary dinner for his boyfriend, I half expected the boyfriend to be Liam." 

Louis chuckled and shook his head slightly. 

"Nah, those two are close but they've never been that close. Besides, I'm pretty sure Zayn would have murdered Niall if he had tried anything with Liam."

Harry raised his eyebrows, taking a swig of his first beer that the waiter had just delivered to their booth.  
"Zayn and Liam?"

"Yep." Louis replied, popping the p. "They've been dating longer than Niall an Tyler, over three years now." 

It was taking all of Harry's self-control not to grill Louis about Niall. Niall an his boyfriend. Niall and his life without Harry. Niall, Niall, Niall. Harry hadn't been able to stop thinking about him since he'd ran into the grocery store. Quite possibly since he had left him alone in bed four years ago. He forced himself to ask about Louis instead. "What about you, Lou? Anyone in your life I should know about?" 

"Actually, I sort of just started seeing someone recently." And even though it had been four years since  
Harry had seen him last, he could tell that whoever it was Louis had just started seeing was very important to him. He watched as Louis' eyes lit up and he dropped his gaze, bashful. Lips turned up in a small smile. Harry smiled and nudged Louis' foot with his own under the table. 

"So? Who is it then? Who's the lucky person?" 

"Aiden Grimshaw."

"What! Really? That took you two long enough. You were dancing around each other before I left."

"I know... but it was never the right time before. We were never single at the same time, it never seemed right. Then one night a bout a month ago he comes over with a bottle of tequila and kisses me before we're even two shots in and we've sort of been together ever since."

"That's great, Lou." Harry says earnestly, pleased to see the grin on Louis' face, his eyes dancing with happiness. 

"Yeah, it kinda is. What about you, curly? You got anyone special in your life? Meet any cute strangers on your travels?"

Harry's relieved to see the question is accompanied by a look of mischief rather than accusation. There was a tiny--- okay, rather large, part of him that was afraid his friends would hate him for leaving Niall. He was glad to see Louis didn't seem to be holding any grudges. He grinned. "Met a few people along the way. Nothing that lasted, though. Just a few flings here and there."

"Had a good time then?"

"Yeah, it was... it was important." He hadn't known what he was looking for when he had left, just knew that he needed to run. He had needed to get out and away from everything that was comfortable. He had been content and he had needed to shake things up. So he had. He had left his friends and family behind and spent four years traveling, anywhere he could go for cheap. Had ended up in places that intrigued and mystified him and had fun doing it. But he was finished with that now. One day he was in Barcelona speaking Spanish with the locals and the next he was on a plane back to London. 

Just like that he had felt an overwhelming pull back to his home. Back to where his friends and family were. And he knew he had made the right decision when he was on the plane to London. Because even though he was headed back home, he felt like he was moving forward. Ready to start a new chapter of his life. A chapter he knew took place here in his hometown with his hold friends and his family whom he loved dearly. Here where everything was familiar but everything was so so different. Before he had left he had felt chaotic, on his travels he had felt free and now, back in London, he felt at peace. 

Louis studied him for a second, "you plan on leaving town again, Styles, or are you back for good?" 

"Back for good, I think. Things feel right here. I feel right here." 

"Good. I'm glad to have you back."

"Glad to be back." Harry replied with a small smile. They clinked their bottles together and Harry tipped his head back, finishing off his first beer. He wasn't sure why, but he had a feeling big things were about to happen. He shook the feeling off and started in on his second beer.


	4. Chapter 4

When Niall got back to the apartment he shared with Tyler after running into Harry at the supermarket, he forced himself to immediately get to work on the chicken alfredo he was cooking for dinner. Tyler had gone out earlier, telling Niall he had some errands to run and Niall had requested that he be back by 6:00 for dinner. Tyler had agreed with a smile and kissed Niall's cheek briefly before leaving. 

As Niall began putting together the sauce, measuring out ingredients, he tried to clear his mind from all thoughts of Harry. It was his anniversary, he was dating a wonderful man whom he loved dearly and he wasn't going to let his ex ruin this day. But while he was stirring the contents of the pan on the stove, he couldn't help but feel like he'd rather spend the evening alone. He was itching to take out his guitar and sit around for hours playing melancholy songs, maybe taking time to work on some new material. Sing his thoughts and let his feelings flow from his fingers to the strings. 

What was Harry doing back in London? Why now? Why had he waited four years to come back? Why even bother coming back? He hadn't bothered staying in touch with any of his friends, so what did he think was here for him? What if he tried talking to Niall? Niall had no desire of speaking with Harry, couldn't care less if he never came into contact with him again. At least, that's what he was telling himself while he finished up dinner, cooking the noodles and chicken, setting the table with the nicest dishes, lighting a few candles and turning the lights out before going to change into a pair of dark wash jeans and a white button up. 

"Babe?" Tyler's voice floated in from the other room. Distractedly, Niall finished up the last few buttons of his shirt, leaving a few undone at the top and then hurried out to greet his boyfriend. 

"Hey," Niall said, coming to a stop when he finally caught sight of Tyler. He was standing in front of the door wearing dress pants, a blue shirt that brought out the different blues that swirled in his eyes, and a jacket. His light brown hair was done up in a quiff and he was holding a bouquet of assorted daisies which, Niall had once drunkenly confessed to a triumphant Tyler, were his favorite flowers. 

"Got you these," he said, grinning, tilting the flowers towards Niall. 

"Don't know why, I'm not a flower guy," was Niall's response as he crossed the room. But he was certain that the smile on his face and the way he took the flowers from Tyler, wrapping his arms around his neck and leaning in to kiss him gave him away. He loved the flowers and the man who had brought them. So much so that his heart fluttered with it. "I love you." 

Tyler kissed back and pressed a smile against Niall's lips. "I love you too." 

"Come on, I'll find something to put these in, you open the wine." They pulled away from one another and headed into the kitchen. Niall went through the cupboards until he found something that resembled a vase, Tyler uncorked the wine, and the two of them settled down at their kitchen table. 

They ate and talked, Tyler insisted on holding Niall's hand across the table which meant Niall had to try to eat with his non-dominant hand, and his attempts at getting his food to his mouth had Tyler laughing at him every time he dropped a noodle right before he got the fork to his lips. Eventually Niall gave up, setting his fork down dramatically and Tyler took pity on him, but instead of relinquishing his hold on his hand, he began feeding Niall with his own fork. 

"You know, this would be a lot easier if you just let me have my hand back." 

"Hmm, yeah. But what's the fun in that? Besides, this is more romantic." 

"Pretty sure I have at least four alfredo stains on my pants from trying to feed myself with my wrong hand." 

"Pretty sure you'd have at least one stain even if you were using your right hand." 

This comment prompted Niall to stick-out his tongue at Tyler who was smiling fondly, blue eyes glittering in the candle light. 

"Dinner was great, love. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Niall replied, giving Tyler's hand a squeeze and then pushing his chair back. "I'll get the plates to the sink, wanna go pick out a movie?" 

Tyler shrugged, "Sure." 

Niall gathered the plates and turned around to put them in the sink, he'd clean them later. Right now he wanted nothing more than to change into sweatpants, cuddle with his boyfriend, and watch a movie. All thoughts of which completely flew from his mind however, when he turned around to find Tyler behind him, down on one knee, ring box in hand. 

"Ty..." Niall could feel his face flush, heart pounding erratically, he brought a hand up to his mouth as Tyler began speaking.

"Niall, these past two years of my life have been better than I've ever imagined for myself... I had a whole long speech prepared but now I'm kinda nervous and I sort of forgot it but you make me so so happy and I would love to spend the rest of my life making you happy in return. Will you marry me?" 

It took Niall a second to process. Tyler was proposing. Tyler was proposing to him, he had a ring and he was looking at Niall with the most earnest, sincere, hopeful look on his face. Before he really knew what he was doing, he could feel himself nodding, and he was crowding into Tyler's space, kneeling down and wrapping his arms around him, a string of "yes, yes, yes" pouring from his lips. They were getting married! Niall's head was spinning as he pulled back to kiss Tyler. He wasn't sure how long they kneeled there on the tile floor of the kitchen, kissng, but it was long enough for his knee to began to ache. So he stood up and pulled Tyler with him, kissing him one last time before pulling away to inspect the ring Tyler was still clutching in his hand. 

"It's not much," Tyler said, offering him the box. "But I think you'll like it." 

And Niall did, it was small, black, and plain. Nothing fancy, no diamonds, just a token of their marriage to come. 

"I love it." Niall said, and Tyler took it back only to take it out of the box and slide it onto Niall's finger. 

"Happy anniversary." Tyler said, running a finger over the new band on Niall's own.

"Happy anniversary." Niall answered, smiling at his now fiance, taking his hand and leading him down the hall to their bedroom where they spent the rest of the evening in bed, exploring each other's bodies and sharing orgasms. 

And that night, as he fell asleep in Tyler's arms, not a single thought of Harry crossed his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize this doesn't look good for Narry, but we'll get there, I promise. What's a good fic with out a little angst and pining? I decided that I won't be writing out any smut between Niall and Tyler, so if smut is what you're here for, you'll have to wait a little while.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry was staring down at Louis' phone a little bit dumbfounded. 

He was at lunch with Louis and Aidan the day after he had met Louis at the bar when Louis received the text message. It was a single picture sent to a group text that included Liam, Zayn, Louis and Niall. The picture message was from Niall. When Louis opened the text he let out a squeak of surprise which had prompted Aidan to take the phone from his hands and get a look at it himself. For a minute the two studied the picture with matching looks of shock on their faces and then they glanced at each other briefly before both turning their gaze on Harry. 

"What?" Harry asked, confused. 

"Nothing," Louis answered quickly, taking the phone from Aidan and attempting to shove it back into his pocket. But Harry was quicker than Louis and he managed to get the phone before he even got his arm under the table. And a part of him kind of wished he had just let it go. Because suddenly he was looking down at a picture of a bed-rumpled Niall leaning into an attractive brown haired man, both clearly shirtless, grinning into the camera. Niall holding his left hand up, a thin black band fitted around his fourth finger. Niall was engaged. Niall was engaged to a stupidly pretty man, looking happier than ever and Harry felt like his lungs were collapsing. 

"Oh. Well... that's... that's... nice?" 

"Is it?" Louis asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"I don't know... I mean, if he's happy. Yeah. Then-- yeah. That's nice." 

"He is." Louis said, "they're good for each other."

Aidan nodded, shooting Harry a sympathetic look. "Tyler's a great guy, he treats Niall well."

Harry didn't know what was wrong with himself. He shouldn't be feeling this way. Shouldn't be feeling like the engagement of his ex, an ex he had broken up with four years ago, had his world crumbling. But he couldn't help feeling like his foundation was being quickly chipped out from underneath him. 

He had been away from Niall for four years. And in those four years he had hooked up with more people than he could count on two hands. Some had been short relationships, others had been one-night stands, but none of them had meant anything to him. They were fun and Harry enjoyed himself and took pleasure in knowing his partners were also having fun and enjoying themselves, but that was it. They were positive experiences, but he had never experienced any relationship greater than the one he had shared with Niall. 

There was a small part of him that had always believed he'd be with Niall in the end. Even after the break up, when he had pictured a future, Niall was always in it. And now? Now he had to let that go. Niall was getting engaged and thee wasn't a spot in his life for Harry, and Harry had to accept that. 

"Harry..." Louis began tentatively. 

Harry shook his head and forced a smile, looked from Aidan back to Louis. "I'm okay. Just a little surprised."

And he would be okay, of course he would. But right now he was still finding it hard to breath. 

"My band has a gig next Thursday," Aidan said, sliding an arm around Louis. "You should come, I'll put you on the guest list."

"Annnd, maybe you can find someone to take home. Aidan's drummer's pretty cute, and talented, with great music taste. And single." Louis added. 

Aidan groaned, "you know, if you weren't completely gay I'd be worried you'd leave me for her." 

Louis chuckled and pinched Aidan's side. "Shut it, Grimshaw."

"Alright." Harry said, never one to turn down an invitation to go out.

"We'll make sure to tell Cady all about you." Louis said, Aidan nodding along, fingers pressed into Louis side. 

*****************************************************

After his lunch with Louis and Aidan, Harry went back to his apartment, made himself comfortable on the sofa and pulled out his laptop. He hadn't bothered using Facebook since he left, but he was able to log in after only three failed attempts at his password. The first thing he did was type Niall's name into the search bar, he clicked on the correct profile and was disappointed to see Niall had unfriended him, and his page was private. Harry clicked on one of the only things on Niall's page he could access, a recent profile picture of the blonde man standing next to Tyler, both arms wrapped around his waist, neither were looking into the camera, instead smiling at one another. One of the comments, just a red heart, was made by a "Tyler Josephson" who's profile picture was two hands intertwined, one he assumed belong to Tyler himself, the other he recognized as Niall's wearing his engagement ring. Harry rolled his eyes and groaned inwardly at the cheesiness and then clicked on Tyler's name. 

Tyler's profile was not private. Tyler's profile was filled with pictures of him and Niall. Him and Niall at the beach, him and Niall at a golf course, him and Niall on a ferris wheel. Picture after picture of their life together. All huge smiles and gazing into each other's eyes. With each picture he scrolled past, Harry could feel his heart dropping further and further. Someone else was in love with Niall, and Niall was in love with someone else. A part of him he didn't want to think about felt heartbroken. Deciding not to punish himself any longer, Harry navigated back to his home page, posted a simple "back in London!" as his status and before he could talk himself out of it, he sent Niall a friend request and shut his laptop, pushing it aside and flopping back onto his bed. 

This wasn't what he had expected when he moved back to London. He hadn't expected Niall to be engaged, hadn't expected not to hear from Zayn and Liam, and hadn't expected to feel so disappointed and alone. But somehow he still felt like this was were he belonged, and this was where he needed to be. Maybe he just needed some time to adjust. Some time to accept the fact that what he had expected wasn't what he got and that it was okay. He would be okay. 

He sent a short text to his mom telling her he'd be visiting a day earlier than they had planned and drifted off to sleep. A long afternoon nap that he hoped would ease his jumbled mind.


	6. Chapter 6

The second Niall walked through Liam and Zayn's front door, he was engulfed in a bear hug from Liam. He laughed and hugged back, patting Liam on the back. "Hey, Li." 

"Niall, you're getting married!" He exclaimed, pulling back, huge excited grin on his face. 

"I know." Niall said, unable to keep a huge smile from spreading across his own face. Liam's excitement was infectious. Niall caught sight of Zayn leaning against the doorway into the kitchen, watching the two of them fondly. Although, he wasn't sure if the fond expression was due to the scene unfolding in front of him, or just Liam in general. Zayn kind of always looked fond when his gaze was aimed at Liam. 

Zayn stepped forward and pulled Niall into a much gentler hug, "Congratulations." He said. And Niall could tell he meant it. Sometimes Zayn was hard to read but there was always a soft lilt to his voice when he was being sincere, usually reserved for conversations with Liam. But it was there now, and Niall was happy to know Zayn supported him.

"Soooo, when's the big day?" Liam asked, still looking ecstatic. Niall we beginning to think Liam was even more excited than he was. "Who's your best man?"

Niall laughed. "Well, we haven't set a date yet, haven't really started discussing the details. And I haven't really thought about it, but I suppose you'll be my best man." 

"Yes!" Liam exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air. 

"Bet Lou would fight you for it," Zayn said, sliding an arm around Liam's waist. And the three of them headed into the living room. Niall sprawled out on the couch and Liam sat in the arm chair, pulling Zayn down on his lap. 

"What about you, Zayn? You not gonna get in on the fight?" Niall asked. 

"Dont have to. You'll get tired of the two of them fighting and make me best man instead." Zayn answered, looking smug. 

Niall laughed, and Liam pouted, "Heyyyyy." 

"Kidding babe," Zayn said, patting Liam's cheek. "You'll be the greatest best man to have ever best manned and I'll fight Louis if he tries to argue." 

"There won't be any fighting over my wedding," Niall chimed in. Knowing full well his friends wouldn't actually cause a fuss over who was best man. They could be incredibly annoying, but it was unlikely they'd do anything to make Niall's wedding a negative experience. 

Niall's phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out expecting it to be a text from Tyler wondering when he'd be home, or a message from Louis demanding they hang out ASAP. Instead what he saw was a Facebook friend request. He unlocked his phone, opened his Facebook app and checked his notifications. The most recent one notifying him that Harry Styles had sent him a friend request. He stared at his phone unmoving.

"Niall? Everything alright?"

He sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "I just got a friend request on Facebook. From Harry."

"He knows you're engaged." Zayn blurts out, both Niall and Liam look at him in surprise. 

"What?" Liam asks, before Niall has a chance to respond. He's starting to look angry, and Zayn's looking sheepish. If the circumstances were different Niall would have chosen that moment to take his leave and let them talk it out, but he was too curious not to stay. 

"Lou told me. Harry got breakfast with him and Aidan this morning. He texted me earlier, said Harry saw the picture Niall sent us and sort of freaked out." Zayn was still perched on Liam's lap, but now Liam had his arms crossed and Zayn was rubbing the back of his own neck uncertainly. Meanwhile Niall was having a bit of an internal crisis. Slowly melting down, temporarily unnoticed by Liam who was looking stuck between annoyance and full on anger, and Zayn who was looking guilty. Guilty of what, Niall wasn't sure. Either guilty because he hadn't told Liam immediately, or guilty because he had told Liam. Because Niall had a sneaking suspicion Louis had told Zayn not to tell anyone.

"They got breakfast with Harry?" Liam asked, expression becoming darker. 

Before Zayn, who was also beginning to look annoyed, had a chance to respond, Niall interrupted, "It's okay." Both Zayn and Liam turned to look at Niall. "I mean, it's okay if Louis is hanging out with Harry. They were best friends, you all were. Long before I came into the picture. I wouldn't stop any one of you from being friends with him again."

"Well, I don't want to see him." Liam responded, and now Zayn was crossing his arms.

"Neither do I." Niall said, "but I don't... I don't think we should stop anyone else from seeing him." Niall slid his gaze briefly over to Zayn before standing up. "I'm gonna go, leave you two to talk it out or whatever." And with that Niall let himself out, leaving Zayn and Liam glaring at one another, still occupying the same armchair.

******************************************************

It wasn't until Niall got home that he let himself fully reflect on what Zayn had said about Harry. About him freaking out after finding out Niall was engaged. He didn't want to even think about what that meant. That Harry had even reacted to him being engaged at all was weird. He had left Niall four years ago, hadn't spoken to him since, but was suddenly freaked out he was engaged? 

Tyler wasn't home yet, so Niall kicked his shoes off at the door and made his way into their shared bedroom. Once he was changed into a pair of basketball shorts and a plain t-shirt he pulled out his guitar, sat down on the bed and started playing. Part of him wished Tyler was home so he had someone to talk to, but another part of him was relieved he had some time alone to broad over the Harry situation. He didn't know what to think of Harry freaking out over his engagement. Was he jealous Niall was getting engaged and he wasn't? He had always talked about wanting to get married and have kids some day. Did he not like the idea of Niall being engaged because he still had feelings for Niall? Was it really possible that after four years, Harry could still have feelings for him? It seemed unlikely.

Niall spent the next hour playing his guitar, singing along when he felt inspired. It was dark before Tyler got home, showering and then sliding into bed. Niall put his guitar away and crawled into bed next to him, cuddling up to his side. 

"How was your day?" Niall asked, linking his hand with Tyler's. 

"Hmm, it was good." He answered, running his opposite hand through Niall's hair. "Got lunch with Jason, spent a little time at the record store. Woulda been better with you there. How about you? How was your day?"

Niall smiled and kissed Tyler's cheek. "Okay..." He had made the decision earlier to tell Tyler about Harry, figured his fiancé should know his exboyfriend was suddenly back in his life. "I left Liam and Zayn's earlier because they got into a bit of a fight over Harry." 

Niall could tell it took Tyler a minute to figure out who Harry was, but once he did his eyes narrowed. He knew the story of Harry and Niall's break up, knew how hard and upsetting it had been for Niall. "Why were they fighting about your ex boyfriend?" 

"Well, he's back in town. They were arguing over Louis hanging out with him." 

"He's back?"

Niall licked over his lips and pressed his face against Tyler's neck. "Yes. I ran into him at the supermarket the other day, he initiated a bit of small talk and he sent me a friend request on Facebook today." 

"Did you accept?" Niall was having a hard time deciphering whether or not Tyler was annoyed with him. Usually he could read him pretty well but he was suddenly oddly aloof.

"No. I don't want to be friends with him, I don't feel like I need him in my life." He slung his arm around Tyler's middle and pulled him closer, placing a kiss on his neck. "Are you mad?"

Tyler let out a breath and turned to look at Niall, Niall could feel his body relaxing. "No, I'm not mad. Just a little surprised." 

"You and me both," Niall said, and Tyler kissed him. And if Niall had been stressing about the situation before, he was feeling a little better about it now. Not completely, but he'd get there. He hoped.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry had woken up Monday morning, dropped a job application off at a coffee shop called The Daily Bean a few blocks from his new apartment, and then headed to his mom and step dad's house. It hadn't been that long since he had last seen his family. While Harry was gone they had talked regularly and they had even visited him on multiple occasions. The last time being just a little over two months ago when they had went to Disney World in Florida together. Much like his friends, his family had been understandably angry when he had left. But unlike with his friends, he had taken the time to call his family and explain, had made an effort to stay in touch with them. He knew he could have stayed in touch with his friends, could have called Louis or returned the few angry texts he had received from Liam. Could have easily responded to Zayn's "have fun and be safe, bro" message. But he hadn't done any of that, he had left his friends and hadn't looked back and now he was more than willing to do what it took to get them back with no intentions of ever skipping out on them again. 

Louis had been easy, Harry knew he would. Harry and Louis had been friends since they were in diapers, too young to even understand what friendship was. Their families were friends, and they had spent the majority of their lives getting into trouble together. He had also known chill, easy going Zayn would follow not far behind. But what he hadn't counted on was the fact that Zayn would be dating the one person he feared may never forgive him. Liam. Harry had found out from Zayn himself that he and Liam had had a pretty big fight over the fact that Zayn planned on hanging out with Harry this coming Thursday. Which honestly annoyed Harry a little. Zayn was his own person and could do whatever he wanted whether Liam liked it or not. But he knew sweet, loyal, Liam, would have trouble accepting him back into his life, even if they had been friends for over ten years before Harry had left. 

Liam and Harry had met in the beginning of primary school, Liam was getting picked on by some of the kids in their class and Harry had defended him, and insisted they sit next to each other during story time. He'd taken Liam by the hand and dragged him over to introduce him to Louis during recess and the three had been friends ever since. Zayn joined their group when his family moved into the London area three years later, and the four were inseparable. Niall hadn't shown up until high school, uprooted from his hometown in Ireland, forced to move to London with his family when his father's job had required it. Liam had noticed him first, sitting on a bench by himself at lunch, picking at his food. He had gone over to invite Niall to eat with the four of them but instead had ended up eating with Niall on the bench. They shared two classes and they got really close really quick. Eventually Liam succeeded in getting Niall to hang out with the other four and Harry had sort of fallen for him instantly. 

He had spent two years pining after Niall, forced by Louis to date other people because Louis and Harry had both been convinced Niall was completely straight. It wasn't until their sixteenth summer, during a camping trip in which Niall had demanded him and Harry share a tent that Harry found out otherwise. It was past midnight and they had just gone to bed, the other three sharing the bigger tent while Harry had agreed to share the smaller one with Niall. Harry and Niall were good friends, never hesitating to hang out alone with one another if the other three were busy, but it still seemed a bit strange to Harry that Niall had chosen to share with him instead of Liam. He had always been closer with Liam. 

"Hey Niall?" Harry had whispered, propping himself up on one elbow to face the other boy who was laying sprawled out on his back next to him. It was dark in the tent, but his eyes had adjusted and he could just make out the outline of his facial features. 

"Yeah, Haz?" he had asked, rolling onto his side to face Harry. The tent was small and they were close, their legs bumping as Niall shifted around. 

"Why'd you want to share with me? Why not Liam? I mean... I don't mind, I was just curious..."

He could just barely see Niall bite down on his bottom lip, seemingly frozen at such a direct question from Harry. Finally he started to speak but Harry could sense the hesitancy in his voice. "Well, uhhh... it was Liam's idea actually. He umm, he said maybe like, this would be a good opportunity for us to..." he trailed off and flipped back over onto his back before mumbling "to be alone together." And Harry can still remember what it had felt like, hearing Niall say that. Had felt like finally after two years his world was shifting into place. 

"You want to be alone with me?" Harry had asked, feeling absolutely giddy. Struggling to keep his voice slow and steady because he didn't want to startle Niall with his excitement. Too much too soon. 

Niall had turned towards him again, as if he had felt it was important that he looked at Harry, even through the darkness. "Yes." And then a giggle escaped past his lips and Harry thought maybe it was one of the cutest things he'd ever witnessed. Niall's little giggle followed by him covering his face and rolling onto his stomach, putting his body even closer to Harry's than it was before, face hidden in Harry's pillow. "God, I'm so nervous" he said, muffled by the pillow. 

Now Harry was giggling, head bowed against Niall's, arm slung tentatively around his waist. "It's cute. You're cute" he managed, and Niall groaned. 

"This is so not how I Imagined doing this." he said, peeking out at Harry, face close in the dark. 

"Doing what?" Harry asked, looking into Niall's eyes, easier now that they were closer together.

"Telling you I like you." And that seemed to be the end of Niall's nerve because suddenly he was pushing Harry back a bit so he could easily hide his face against Harry's chest, body tucked tightly against Harry's. "You don't have to say anything, just give me a second, yeah?"

"Niall," Harry said, happy to have him close. Happy to hear him say it. Maybe the happiest he'd ever been. "It's okay, really. I like you too. Have for a long time now." 

"Oh... really?" Niall asked, sounding a little surprised.

"Yeah, you dork. Quite a lot, actually."

Niall was quite for a minute, but he stayed cuddled against Harry and Harry kept one hand running up and down Niall's back. They had both fallen asleep not long after, and had woken up to sunlight in their eyes and their friends peeking into their tent, "awwing" when they saw them cuddled up together.

Harry shook himself out of his memory as his cab pulled into the driveway of his parents house. He paid the driver and made his way up to the door, knocking only once before his mom threw it open and pulled him into a giant hug. He was free for only a second before his step dad was there and pulling him into a hug as well. He spent the next two days letting his mom feed and coddle him as he watched movies and caught up with them, barely moving from the sofa. 

**********************************************************************

He left early Thursday morning, having set up an interview at The Daily Bean when the manager, an older woman named Margo, called and said she'd like for him to come in. He went straight from his parents house to the coffee shop and was hired three minutes into his interview. As it turned out Margo was desperate for help, and immediately charmed by Harry's personable demeanor. He had been training for about four hours with a nice, humorous girl named Delilah he was pleased to think he'd like working with when the bell on the front door chimed and he looked up to see Niall walking in with a man he recognized immediately as Tyler. The door had barely closed before Niall looked up and made eye contact with Harry who couldn't convince himself to look away. He was wearing a pair of khaki shorts with a black v-neck t-shirt, bright pink sunglasses hanging from the collar and a bright green snap back on his head. He looked good. Niall and Tyler made their way up to the counter and Harry let out a breath he hadn't even noticed he'd been holding. "Hey guys!" Delilah said brightly, and Harry recognized it as the voice she used when she was greeting a regular.

Great.

"Hey Delilah." Niall said, smiling brightly at her before turning towards Harry, nodding at him slightly. "Hey Harry." 

Harry watched curiously as Tyler's head shot up at the mention of his name, his arm automatically circling Niall's waist. Watched as Niall leaned into the touch, hand coming up to twine with Tyler's over his stomach. "Hi." Harry answered, forcing a tight smile onto his face, attempting to look anywhere other than where Tyler and Niall were touching each other. Feeling his own heart beating painfully in his chest. 

"Oh, you know each other?" Delilah asked, looking from Harry to Niall and Tyler. 

"Used to," Niall said shrugging, the nonchalance of the statement hit Harry hard. He swallowed, mouth dry, and tried his best to stay calm and keep his face carefully blank. Breathing suddenly became difficult. And then Niall was talking again, gaze fixed on Harry. "Tyler, this is Harry. Harry, this is my fiancé, Tyler." 

"Fiancé?!" Delilah squealed, effectively derailing a tense moment. Oblivious. 

Harry wished he were oblivious. Wished he hadn't seen the way Niall's eyes lit up as he nodded and told Delilah that Tyler had proposed on their anniversary. Wished he hadn't noticed the way Tyler was watching Niall talk like the sight was the greatest thing he'd ever laid eyes on. Wondered if Niall remembered a time when Harry used to look at him like that. Thinks maybe he should look away in case he still looks at Niall like that. He tunes back into the conversation when Delilah asks if they want their usuals and when they both agree, says it's on the house. "So that'll be a medium vanilla latte with a pinch of cinnamon for Niall, and a large espresso for Tyler" she tells Harry. He nods numbly and gets to work making their drinks.

When he's finished he hands the drinks over to the two men with a quiet "congratulations" that he hopes sounds a lot more sincere than it feels. 

"Thanks." Niall says, and he and Tyler walk out of the shop without a second glance, Niall laughing happily at something Tyler had said.

"Harry? You okay?" Delilah asks, looking at him with concern. 

He shakes his head and let's out a self deprecating laugh. "We used to date. Niall and I."

"Ohh" she says, drawing out the word as if the last ten minutes finally make sense to her now. "Nice guy, but there will be others. Must have happened for a reason, you'll find your person." And it's meant to be comforting but he can't help thinking that the only reason it happened is because he had made a stupid decision four years ago. 

*******************************

Later that night he sees Zayn and Liam for the first time since he's been back. He walks into the bar Aidan and Louis had invited him to see Aidan's band play at and one of the first things he sees is Liam and Zayn making out against the wall, Zayn's hands tucked up under the back of Liam's jacket. He's barely got time to register the fact that they must have made up before Louis is there, flicking the back of Liam's head. "Oi! Stop that for a minute would you, Harry's here." 

Liam turns and fixes Harry with a glare, it would be funny if what he says afterwards didn't hurt so much. Funny because Liam has sort of always looked like a human puppy and isn't capable of delivering a decent glare. His words are biting though. "I'm not talking to you," he says, "and we're not going to be friends." 

Harry drops his gaze and is almost immediately wrapped up in a hug from Zayn. "He'll come around" he murmurs, close to Harry's ear. "I'm glad to have you back, Haz."

"Glad to be back," he says, hugging Zayn tight, momentarily hiding his face in the comfort of his friend's shoulder. Once they part, he sees Liam watching them, frown etched into his face and forehead creased in displeasure. He barely has time to wonder how tonight's going to work, with Liam so obviously not wanting to be around him, when a familiar voice pulls him out of his thoughts. His heart immediately feels like it's dropped down into his stomach, and he's frozen, watching Niall greet Liam with a huge grin on his face, Tyler not far behind. Niall and Liam hug, and Tyler and Liam do some sort of half handshake half hug bro-type greeting Harry has never understood. And although his eyes are fixed on Liam, Niall, and Tyler, he can feel Zayn and Louis watching him. Right before Louis pinches him in the side, successfully pulling his attention, he sees Liam lean in and say something to Niall which causes Niall to look in his direction. They make eye contact briefly before Niall turns to tug at Tyler's hand, Harry looks away and focuses on Louis. 

"Come on then, let's get us a drink, yeah?" Harry nods and Louis looks at Zayn, "You in?" 

"Yeah, let's go." He says, and the three of them head over to the bar. 

"I've got mine and Liam's," Harry says. He's well aware he's not going to win Liam over with a drink at the bar, but it's a start and at least Liam will know he's planning on making an effort. "He still drink whiskey sours?"

"Yeah." Zayn answers, "I'll get mine and Niall's."

"And I'll get mine and Tyler's" Louis adds. "Don't take it personal, Haz, but he's a friend."

Harry shakes his head a little, "No, it's okay. I get it. It would probably be a little weird if one of you didn't come back with a drink for him anyways." And Harry doesn't really have a problem with Louis buying Tyler's drink. He gets that they're friends. Gets that he came into their lives when Harry wasn't around and they've all gotten close with him, he does. It's just a little weird thinking about spending time with him. With Tyler and Niall, and Liam who isn't talking to him. Everything's just a little weird, and Harry's a little sad and it's messing with his head. Alcohol probably isn't the best idea at this point, but he orders himself a watermelon margarita anyways and makes his way over to Liam, trailing behind Louis and Zayn. He stops next to Liam who's leaning against the wall and holds out the whiskey sour he bought for him. To Harry's surprise, Liam accepts the drink automatically. "That was easier than I thought," he says, and leans back against the wall next to Liam. In front of them Louis and Zayn are chatting happily with Tyler and Niall. Louis has captured Niall's left arm in his grasp and is admiring the engagement ring on his finger. Harry looks away. 

"Don't flatter yourself," Liam says, taking a sip of his drink. "I would have accepted this from a stranger, I have the feeling tonight's going to require a lot more where this came from." 

Harry let's out a strangled laugh, "you're telling me." And in one go he downs half of his margarita. 

He's fourshots and three margarita's in and Aidan's band is halfway through their set when a cold water bottle is pressed against his arm. He squeaks and pulls his arm away. Swinging around unsteadily he's met with a pair of bright blue eyes looking thoroughly unamused. "Drink this," Niall says, taking the lid off the water bottle and holding it out towards Harry. 

Harry looks down at the water bottle and frowns, "That's not alcohol." It's a bottle of water. A cold, boring bottle of water that Harry doesn't want. But he does want Niall, he thinks. And Niall is offering him the bottle of water. Niall is talking to him and his fiance isn't present. Harry tries his best to focus on Niall who's talking again but he sort of feels like he'd like to sit down, or maybe lean on something.

"No, it's not." Niall sighs. "It's water and you need to drink it, those sugary drinks always make you sick." 

"M'not sick," Harry slurs as his stomach twists. And okay, he really needs to sit. So he does, right in the middle of the floor. He might be sick. Niall hovers over him for a second before squating down next to him and shoving the bottle of water into his hand. 

"Drink." He says, and Harry does. Between sips he studies Niall, his hair is still bleach blonde, brown roots just visible near his scalp. His eyes are as blue as Harry had remembered and his normally pale skin is flushed slightly. He smells the same, a mix of subtly warm cologne and fruity shampoo with a slight undertone of boy that Harry has always associated with Niall. There are a few faint lines permanently etched into the skin next to his eyes where they crinkle up when he laughs and Harry frowns realizing Niall had grown into a man without him. Niall's all grown up and Harry has never felt more lost, sitting cross legged on the floor of a bar next to his engaged ex boyfriend who's forcing him to drink water, trying desperately not to vomit on either of them. 

"You're getting married" he blurts out, and Niall blinks at him. 

"Um. Yes. I am." 

"I was supposed to meet a girl here tonight," he says, even more sluggishly than normal. Feeling like Niall should know. He's not the only one who can move on, no. Harry can too. And he is. Maybe. 

Niall raises his eyebrows a little, "Probably shouldn't. Wouldn't make the best first impression." 

Harry laughs then, and he may be drunk but he's not too drunk to notice the little smile that Niall hides behind his hand. 

"You okay to stand?" Niall asks. "This floor is disgusting." Harry takes a second to evaluate his body and how he feels before deciding that yes, he can stand. And no, he's not going to vomit, and nods. Niall gets to his feet and holds a hand out to Harry. Harry takes it and Niall pulls him to his feet. The minute their hands touch Harry feels like something much bigger than butterflies are flying around in his stomach. Pterodactyls, maybe, he thinks to himself. The minute Niall's sure he's steady, he drops Harry's hand. "You should drink another of those" he says, nodding towards the water, and Harry barely has time to thank him before he's slipping away back through the crowd.

Louis walks over then and plasters himself against Harry's back. "Isn't Aidan great?" He slurs, and although he can't see him from this angle, Harry's sure Louis has a dreamy expression on his face. He has another margarita.

Later he's introduced to the drummer of Aidan's band, Cady. They dance together for half a song until she's patting him on the cheek and telling him he's drunk, saying he should go home. Feeling a little lost and a lot lonely, feeling himself quickly slipping from bubbly drunk to sad drunk, he looks around the bar for anyone he knows. Liam is the first person he spots and he makes his way over to the brown haired man, wrapping a hand around his wrist once he reaches him. "Li," he mumbles, and Liam turns to look at him. The minute he sees Harry, Liam shakes free of his grasp and Harry feels his face crumple, wills himself not to cry. He just wants to go home. 

"I know you hate me," Harry starts, can hear his own voice crack, "but I just wanna go home."

Liam's face softens instantly and he pulls his phone out. "You'll go home with Louis," he says, reaching out and squeezing one of Harry's shoulders. "You shouldn't be alone." 

"I don't wanna be alone." Harry whines, and Liam slides his arms around Harry's waist, holding onto him until Louis and Aidan come to take him home with them. He falls asleep on Louis couch, thinking of how nice Niall and Liam had been to him tonight, sniffling when he realizes it was probably a one time thing. He didnt deserve to be treated so well by them.


	8. Chapter 8

Niall sees Harry almost every day now.

Ever since Niall had secured a job as a studio tech at Music Force Records two years ago he's been stopping for coffee at The Daily Bean every day before work. Now every day at 8:45, he stops in and is instantly handed a large vanilla latte with a pinch of cinnamon. After Harry's first week on the job, he must have caught on that Niall stopes by the same time everyday and ordered the same thing. Starting the second week his coffee was ready for him when he got there, and every day Harry handed it to him he said it was on the house. Once the third week rolled around Niall stopped trying to pay. After a month they'd barely said a word to each other, but Niall kept stopping for his coffee and Harry kept treating him to it. 

The first time it happened Niall texted Tyler about it, by the end of the week he told Tyler it had become a thing. At first he was concerned Tyler would be annoyed, but he had just sort of shrugged, kissed Niall on the cheek and said "Never turn down free coffee, love. I'm pretty sure it's against the law." And that was that. 

They also ended up running into Harry most Thursdays at Thirsty where Aidan's band, Seahorse, played. Seahorse plays every Thursday and more often than not, Niall, Tyler, Liam, Louis, Zayn, and now Harry will all show up to listen to them. And on Sundays when Tyler's out with his best friend Jason, Niall will sometimes go out with the others as well, and it's common for Harry to show up. Niall tries his best to feel normal about it but he can't help but feel a little off every time he sees Harry. It had taken Niall a long time to get over Harry, there had been days even at the start of his and Tyler's relationship where he had questioned whether or not he was truly over him. But then his relationship with Tyler had become more serious and Niall found himself enjoying the maturity of it. He found himself imagining his future with Tyler. Found it easy to picture Tyler as the person he'd spend the rest of his life with. And now here he was, engaged to him and spending the rest of his life with him was a reality. Niall couldn't be happier. 

But that didn't stop him from feeling off-balance every time he turned to talk to Louis at the bar and Harry was there, or when he walked into The Daily Bean and Harry was handing him his coffee. He suspected a small part of him would always be tied to Harry, figured it must be true what everyone said about never forgetting your first love. He hoped he'd get used to it soon. 

"Ready to go?" Tyler asked, walking into the bathroom where Niall was fixing his hair in the mirror and wrapping his arms around him from behind. They were getting ready to go to Liam and Zayn's for dinner and a movie night. 

"Almost." Niall answered, leaning back against Tyler and continuing running his hands through his hair until he liked the result. When he was finished he turned in Tyler's embrace and kissed him on the lips. "Okay, let's go." 

When they got to Zayn and Liam's, Louis and Aidan were already there. Louis was watching Zayn cook, sitting on the kitchen counter kicking his feet against the cabinets below. Aidan was helping Liam set the table. "Hey boys," Louis said, kicking out at Niall as he passed, catching him in the thigh. Niall retaliated by flicking Louis' kneecap before sidling up to Zayn and sticking his finger in the pot of stew he was stirring on the stove. 

"Hey! No sticking your grubby little fingers in the food," Zayn chastised, bumping Niall's hip with his own. "Josephson, control your man." Tyler laughed and wrapped an arm around Niall's waist, pulling him back from the stove.

"My fingers are not grubby," Niall protested. 

"Of course they're not, dear." Tyler teased, taking the finger Niall had just licked clean and sucking it into his mouth.

Louis groaned, "You guys are gross." 

"Aww, c'mon babe. I think they're cute." Aidan said, going to stand between Louis' legs, effectively stopping his rhythmic kicks to the cabinets. 

"If anyone's gross, it's you." Liam added. "We left you two alone in here for two seconds earlier and you had your hand halfway down Aidan's pants when we came back." 

"Hey, this is a new relationship! We're supposed to be handsy. The rest of you have been together long enough to keep your hands to yourselves." 

"If two years from now you get boring and keep your hands to yourself, I'm breaking up with you," Aidan deadpanned, and Niall cackled at the look on Louis' face who seemed to be caught halfway between surprised and excited over Aidan's assumption they'd be together two years from now. Louis had never been very good at keeping relationships, but this one seemed to be important to him. Niall hoped it lasted.

They were finished with dinner and halfway through their first movie, World War Z, when Louis spoke up uncertainly. "Harry just texted me, said he had a bad second date with that Lucas guy he's been talking to. Would it be okay if I invited him over?" The question was directed at Liam, and maybe himself but he was too busy lingering on the phrase "second date" to fully pay attention. Since when had Harry gone on a first date with this guy? He couldn't recall anyone mentioning anything about a Lucas. It wasn't like him and Harry actually talked to each other, but because they had the same friends it was usually difficult for him to avoid picking up bits of information about Harry's personal life. He knew Harry had tried talking to Aidan's drummer and had ended up nothing more than friends with her, had heard about a few men giving Harry his phone number while he worked, but he couldn't remember a Lucas. Not that he cared, he didn't. At least, he thought he shouldn't. But that didn't stop the small tinge of jealousy that burned in the back of his mind. 

"Niall?" And, oh. Everyone was staring at him now. 

"Huh?" 

"I asked if it was okay with you if Harry came over?" Louis repeated.

"As long as it's okay with Liam, I guess. Yeah." It really wasn't though. It was weird enough hanging out with Harry in public, hanging out with him in an intimate setting while Louis and Zayn comforted him over his bad date was exactly what Niall didn't want to do. But he couldn't explain that to everyone else without sounding like some sort of weirdo so he'd just have to deal with it. Instead he snuggled closer into Tyler's side and went back to watching the movie. 

It didn't take Harry long to get there, and when the door bell rang Louis, Aidan and Zayn all got up to meet him at the door while Niall and Tyler stayed cuddled up on the sofa and Liam left his spot in the chair he had been sharing with Zayn to sit in the space Louis and Aidan had vacated next to Niall and Tyler. He sat with his back against the arm rest and tucked his feet under Niall's thigh. Niall patted his calf absentmindedly and tried to pretend like he wasn't attempting to listen in on the conversation the other three were having with Harry near the door. The conversation was short though, and soon Zayn was pushing Harry down into the chair settling half on top of him and Louis and Aidan were sitting with their backs leaning against their legs. "Hey," Harry mumbled quietly, awkwardly, and Niall, Tyler and Liam all muttered brief hellos. Liam crossed his arms and bit down on his bottom lip. Niall knew Liam was struggling with the fact Harry was back. He was mad at Harry, Harry had been Liam's rock for a long time and he had taken Harry's abrupt departure four years ago almost as personally as Niall had. It didn't help that Zayn had accepted Harry back with open arms, always paying more attention to Harry when he was around than Liam. Liam had talked to Niall about it, said he knew Zayn was just trying to help Harry feel welcome, but it didn't stop him from feeling jealousy. Liam was used to being the center of Zayn's attention and never reacted well when he wasn't. Niall had once seen him pout for four days straight when some random girl at a bar had spent ten minutes flirting with a completely oblivious Zayn who had been too polite to send her away. He was a little worried Harry's return was causing unnecessary tension in their otherwise perfect relationship. And because he knew Liam was worried too, detached himself from Tyler and crawled up the sofa to settle next to Liam who uncrossed his arms to wrap one around Niall's shoulders.

After World War Z ended Louis demanded Harry pick the next movie, and without really thinking about it Niall blurted out "No Christmas movies." It was quiet for a second and Tyler looked at him curiously. Once again, the entire room was staring at him. He could feel himself flushing, and he wished he could take it back. 

"Love Actually isn't a Christmas movie, Niall." Harry said tentatively. 

Feeling incredibly uncomfortable, but also weirdly satisfied, Niall responded "Any movie that contains the song "All I Want For Christmas Is You" is a Christmas movie, no exceptions." 

"Seconded." Louis piped up, turning to look up at Harry. "Pick a different movie Haz, it's July." He decided on Notting Hill and feeling sleepy, Niall shifted around so his head was resting on Tyler's shoulder. And with Tyler's fingers running through his hair, it wasn't long until he was drifting off to sleep. When the movie ended he was woken up by Tyler who was pressing kisses to his ear, cheek, and the side of his face. 

Aidan cooed, "how come you never wake me up like that, Lou?" 

"Cause you're not as cute as Niall," Louis answered, yawning. 

"Fuck you," Aidan said in mock outrage. 

"Take me home and you can."

Zayn snorted and pushed at Louis' shoulder with his toes. "You need to leave immediately, you really are gross." 

*************************************

The next morning Niall made his way to The Daily Bean, but when he got there his coffee wasn't waiting for him. Instead what he saw was a tall dark haired guy in tight fitted skinny jeans and a light blue v-neck standing at the counter talking to an annoyed looking Harry. "I have a customer." Harry said, looking pointedly away from the other man towards Niall. 

"I'll wait." The other guy said as Harry began making Niall's coffee. 

"Nothing to wait for," Harry replied curtly. 

"You won't reply to my texts, I'm here to talk."

"And if I wanted to talk to you, I would have replied to your texts." 

"I know last night didn't go well but--" So this must be bad second date Lucas, Niall thought as he awkwardly waited for Harry to finish his coffee.

"No, it didn't. And I told you I didn't want to see you again." 

"Just let me talk."

Niall cleared his throat, "I don't think he wants to talk to you." Both Lucas and Harry turned to look at Niall. Harry looked surprised, Lucas looked angry."

"Take your coffee and mind your own business," Lucas said, and Niall could feel himself getting angry. He hadn't liked the way Lucas had been talking to Harry, and now the tone and attitude was directed at Niall. 

"Not until you leave." Niall said, crossing his arms and squaring his shoulders. 

"You can't tell me to leave," Lucas responded, balling his fists. Niall sincerely hoped he wasn't about to get into a physical altercation due to some sort of strange sense of protectiveness he suddenly felt towards his ex-boyfriend. 

"No, but I can." Harry said. "And you need to go." 

"Whatever," Lucas growled, taking Niall's coffee from Harry and leaving the shop. As soon as he was gone, Niall wished he could disappear into the floor.  
He and Harry were alone for the first time since they had run into each other at the grocery store over a month ago, and it took every ounce of self-control Niall had not to bolt for the door. Apparently running was now his body's natural response to being alone with Harry. 

"Thank you," Harry said as he got to work making Niall another coffee to replace the one Lucas had taken. The sincerity in his voice had Niall digging his fingernails into his palms. 

Niall shrugged feigning nonchalance "He was being a dick." 

Harry handed him his coffee, "Have a good day at work, Niall." And it wasn't until Niall had gotten settled in at work that he was finally able to breathe normally again. 

********************************

Later that night when they were at Thirsty, it was Harry that bought him his first drink. And if Tyler was a little more possessive on the dance floor after that, pulling Niall back against him with his hands slid up under the front of his shirt, well, Niall wasn't complaining. In fact, he reveled in the feeling and tipped his head back on Tyler's shoulder, turning to suck at his neck. All thoughts of Harry pushed from his mind.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry was surprised when he opened up his apartment door to find Zayn on the otherside. And he was even more surprised when Zayn had sniffled and asked Harry if he could stay the night. 

"Of course you can, anytime." Harry answered, stepping back to let Zayn in. Once Zayn was inside and Harry took a proper look at him, he realized he was sort of a mess. "Is everything alright?"

Zayn sniffled again and then broke down into a full on cry. "Liam and I had a fight and he told me I should leave. So I left. I didn't know what to do, he was so angry and I just left. We've never fought this badly before." He wiped at his eyes and Harry moved forward, hugging him.

"I'm sure everything will be okay," Harry said, rubbing Zayn's back. "You two have been together a long time, right? You'll get through this." 

"But what if we don't?"

"Zayn..." He looked completely broken, hair disheveled, tears streaming down his cheeks, eyes rimmed red. His shoulders were shaking and Harry led him over to the sofa, pushed him down on it and wrapped his arms around him. 

"We've been fighting so much lately," Zayn muttered, nuzzling his cheek against Harry's shoulder, tears dampening his shirt. "He keeps trying to talk to me about it and I keep avoiding the conversation because I hate fighting with him. I should have taken the time to talk to him sooner, I know I should have. This is all my fault."

There was a part of Harry that wanted to apologize to Zayn because he knew Zayn and Liam had been fighting about him. He wasn't sure if he was what caused the beginning of all the fighting between them, but he knew he was definitely a part of what kept it going. He should have taken the time to sit down and talk to Liam rather than waiting for him to come around. Harry had kinda hoped Liam would warm up to him eventually if he spent enough time around him, but it hadn't happened like that yet. Instead what he got was a Liam who seemed inconvenienced just to be in Harry's presence. The exception being the one time he had taken care of Harry when he was drunk, and Harry figured that had been more out of pity than anything. But he'd wait for the apology, now didn't seem like the time to talk about himself. "Stay the night," Harry said instead. "And tomorrow why don't you try contacting Liam and asking him to talk? I know I haven't been around for most of your relationship, but even though things between you two have been a little tense, it's easy to see how much you care about each other. You guys can work this out." 

"What if he doesn't want to talk to me?" Zayn seemed determined to be defeated. 

"He can't avoid you forever, you live in the same apartment. Everything's going to be alright." 

Zayn sighed and rubbed at his eyes with one hand, the other gripping the hem of Harry's t-shirt. "Thanks for being here for me, Haz. With Louis and Aidan away visiting Lou's family I wasn't sure where else to go... I thought about going to Niall's but I knew Liam would need him." They stayed like that on the sofa for a while, Zayn didn't say much and Harry kept quiet, just letting the other man be. It wasn't too long before Zayn drifted off and Harry shifted him around so he was laying down. He got an extra blanket from the closet and tucked it around Zayn before heading into his bedroom. Once he was settled in bed he pulled his phone out. He had four missed calls and about ten texts from Louis and three unread facebook messages from Niall. He blinked, confused, and opened the texts from Louis first. 

L: Is Z with you??? 

L: He's not answering his phone 

L: Everyone's freaking out 

L: Him and Liam got into a fight and nobody can find him 

L: Harry? 

L: You better have a good reason for not answering 

L: That reason better be that Zayn is with you 

L: Harry fucking Styles, answer your goddamn phone 

L: what the fuck 

Oops. 

He opened the messages from Niall next 

N: Is Zayn with u? 

N: He left home without his phone and nobody can find him. 

N: Liam's freaking out, pls message me back when u get this. 

Harry quickly typed up a message back to Niall. 

H: Hey, sorry. Yeah Zayn is with me, he showed up about an hour and a half ago. I would have answered sooner but I didn't have my phone on me. 

H: I hope Liam's okay. 

He closed out of facebook after briefly checking to see if Niall had accepted the friend request he had sent him over a month ago (he hadn't), and opened his text conversation with Louis. 

H: I'm sorryyyyy :( 

H: Z's here. 

H: Safe but pretty upset. :( :( 

It only took a second for Louis to respond. 

L: Thank fuck, jesus christ. We've been trying to get a hold of you for an hour 

L: I had to leave Aidan alone with my sisters 

L: I came back from trying to console Liam over the phone and they had painted his nails 

L: the pink nail polish kinda looks good on him though 

L: but anyways fuck you what took so long 

Harry shook his head, Louis was ridiculous. 

H: I said I'm sorryyyy 

H: forgive me, Lou :( 

H: I was with Zayn, he was upset 

L: How is he? 

H: He's sleeping now but he's convinced himself Liam won't want anything to do with him. How's Liam? 

L: Liam's a mess. Inconsolable, that one. He thinks Zayn's been giving him subtle hints he wants to break up and now he's beating himself up over kicking him out. 

L: I couldn't tell if he was more worried that he WAS with you, or that he wasn't... 

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. What was that supposed to mean? 

H: What? 

L: He's convinced himself Zayn has a crush on you or something 

H: WHAT?? 

L: He doesn't. Liam's just stupidly jealous sometimes. 

L: I'm gonna go, Aidan promised me a hand job in the shower before he takes the nail polish off. 

H: Right. 

H: You two have fun. 

H: Goodnight. 

Well, this was great. At this rate Harry would be lucky if he got Liam to speak to him before the next decade. He checked Facebook and saw he had another unread message from Niall. 

N: Ok. Thnks for taking care of him. 

Harry thought about replying but didn't really know what else to say so instead he put his phone aside and drifted off into a restless sleep, wondering if things would ever stop being so weird. 

****************************************************** 

Harry ended up spending his weekend on his sofa watching romance movies upon Zayn's request, even though Harry wasn't sure Zayn was actually paying attention to them. He did catch him crying a few... or quiet a few times, but he didn't know if it was because of the movies or Liam. Zayn had used Harry's phone to try to call Liam both Saturday and Sunday morning. Both times leaving voice mails asking him to answer. Saturday's had been a bit more resigned, a "please call me back, Li. I just want to talk." Sunday's had gotten a little desperate and Harry had taken the phone from Zayn, hanging up and wrapping his arms around him as he broke into tears for what Harry was certain was at least the twentieth time since he had first shown up at his door. Not that Harry was complaining, he didn't mind at all, he felt terrible his friend was so heartbroken. Just an observation. 

"I don't know what to do about work tomorrow," Zayn said quietly some time in the middle of The Notebook. "I need... I need my clothes. I need to go home." 

"I'll go with you if you want," Harry offered. 

"I don't know if I can just walk in knowing he doesn't want me there, Harry." 

"You don't know that." 

Zayn shook his head, "He's made it pretty clear, I don't know what to do." 

"Then you're staying here until you two make up and you feel comfortable going back, and in the meantime I'll go pick up some of your clothes." Harry said firmly, wanting to make this as easy on Zayn as possible. 

"You don't have to-" 

"Zayn." 

"Okay." 

So Zayn made a list of things he needed from the apartment he shared with Liam, and Harry went to pick them up, feeling guilty about leaving him alone. When he got to their apartment and Liam answered the door, he looked just as bad, if not worse than Zayn. Instantly Harry wanted to hug him, but he held back, not sure how Liam would react. Liam sighed and ran a hand through his already rumpled hair. "What do you want, Harry?" 

And Harry couldn't help wondering how Liam would handle this. Wondered how he would handle the fact the man he thought his boyfriend had a crush on was here to pick up some of his belongings so he could stay with him longer. He took a deep breath. "I um... I came to pick up a few of Zayn's things... stuff he needs for work tomorrow..." Liam stared at him blankly for a moment before stepping back to let Harry in. 

"What does he need? It'll go faster if I get it, I know where everything is." Harry couldn't argue with that so he handed Liam the list Zayn had written and followed him into their bedroom. He watched as Liam pulled a travel bag out of the closet and began packing clothes into it, folding them methodically. He moved on to the dresser and packed some boxer briefs before stopping and frowning down at the list. "He forgot shoes," he said softly, almost to himself. He went back to the closet and stared at the scattered shoes, picking up a pair of nice black boots. "These are his favorites," he muttered, quickly stuffing them into the bag before wiping at his eyes. 

Harry took a step towards him "Liam..." 

"Don't." 

But Harry didn't stop. In three strides he was standing in front of Liam, arms wrapped around his shoulders. At first Liam was stiff in the embrace, but it only took a few seconds before he was dropping the bag he had been holding at their feet, and wrapping his arms around Harry's waist, face pressed into his shoulder. "I don't know what I'm doing," he said shakily. 

"It's okay, it's okay if you need time." 

"I'm just letting him get away." 

"I don't think you are, I think that would require him leaving. He's not going anywhere, not yet." 

"He's staying with you." Liam said quietly, voice sounding almost embarrassed.

Harry took a step back, hands resting on Liam's shoulders. Liam looked at him. "Yes, he is. He's staying in my living room. On my sofa. Alone. Because he is my friend and I care about him. As a friend. There's nothing going on between us Li, I wouldn't do that to you and neither would he. Have you seen the way he looks at you? Because it's definitely not me he's into." 

Liam was blushing now and he turned away from Harry, shrugging out of his grasp. "It's not just about that." 

He got the feeling they weren't talking about Liam and Zayn or Zayn and Harry anymore. "I know." 

"You left."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you?"

Harry sat down on the edge of the bed and ran a hand through his hair. "Not for leaving, no. I needed that, I needed to get away. I didn't feel like my life was mine anymore and that was my way of reclaiming it. But I'm sorry for the way I did it, and I am sorry for not keeping in touch. I should have kept in touch, I missed you every day."

Liam sat down next to him then, "It hurt to feel like you didn't need us anymore."

"I'll always need you." Harry said, and it was the truth. He wasn't sure what his future held, but he knew his best friends were going to be a part of it. They were a constant he wasn't willing to give up again. Suddenly Liam was hugging him and Harry felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 

******************************************************

Zayn stayed at Harry's for a week. The next Sunday he approached Harry in the kitchen while he was making breakfast and told him he had a plan. 

"A plan?" Harry asked, working on pitting an avocado. "For what?"

"Um. Getting Liam to talk to me?" he answered uncertainly. And Harry turned to him. Zayn had been calling Liam twice a day for the past week to no avail, and each time Liam didn't answer he looked more and more defeated. 

"Yeah? That's great, Zayn. Let's hear it then."

"Well, like. I was thinking I wanted to sing to him? Thirsty does karaoke on Sundays, you know. And I was thinking if maybe we could get him there somehow I could like, sing a song for him. He... he's always liked when I've sung for him..."

"You've sung to him at karaoke before?" Harry asked, genuinely interested. He'd love to have seen that, he always appreciated a good serenade and he'd always thought Zayn had had a beautiful voice.

"Yeah." Zayn answered, blushing a little causing Harry's lips to tilt up into a small smile. "A few times. That's... kinda how we started dating? I convinced him to sing karaoke with me, we did Drake and Rihanna's Take Care duet. But I didn't tell him what the song was so he didn't know until we got up on stage and then when it was over I asked if I could kiss him and he said yes." He was smiling wistfully at the memory but he still looked impossibly sad. 

"Awwww, that's so cute." Zayn shrugged bashfully. "I'll help," Harry said. "I'll make sure Liam's there, you just practice your song. What are you singing?" 

"Lay Me Down by Sam Smith." 

"That'll be perfect Zayn." 

And so through a series of texts and Louis' help, they were able to convince Liam to go out for a drink, promising Zayn wouldn't be there. Telling him his cousins were in town and he'd be hanging out with them. Harry felt a little guilty, lying to Liam, especially after they had made progress in rebuilding their friendship. But he thought any backlash would be worth it if it meant Zayn and Liam could talk and repair their relationship. 

Harry waited for Louis' text telling him they were at Thirsty before he and Zayn left. When they got to the bar they went their separate ways, Zayn headed straight for the Karaoke stage to request his song and Harry headed towards where Louis, Aidan, and Niall were waiting with Liam. Liam handed him a drink and he waited for Zayn's text. Liam immediatly slide an arm around Harry's waist, and Harry leaned into him. "Alright?" he asked, and Liam shrugged. He looked tired, he had dark bags under his eyes and he was dressed in a pair of sweats and a hoodie, not something Liam usually went out in.

"I've been better, it's been a long week." Harry frowned at him and Liam shrugged a little again before looking away, done with the conversation. Harry looked up and caught Niall watching them, it still felt weird to Harry that out of all of them, Niall was the only person he hadn't really talked to since he'd been back. He and Niall had been so close, and now he felt close to all of them except Niall. He couldn't help but wonder if he and Niall would ever be so much as friends again. Wondered if Niall felt as weird about it as he did. 

Zayn texted him then, telling him he was up next and Harry suggested they get closer to the stage. They edged their way forward and came to a stop as the current song ended, Harry still tucked under Liam's arm, Niall shooting them weird glances, trying and failing to be discrete. As soon as the announcer called Zayn's name, he felt Liam's whole body go tense before he started to move away. Harry took his arm gently and pulled him back. "I can't..." he said, voice strained as Zayn sang out the first line of the song. 

_Yes, I do. I believe that one day I will be where I was. Right there, right next to you._

"I can't," he chocked out again, but he made no move to go and he couldn't seem to tear his gaze from Zayn who was staring down at him from the stage, singing the song beautifully. 

_Can I lay by your side? Next to you, you, and make sure you're alright?_

Harry was pretty sure Liam wasn't alright. He seemed to be trying his best not to cry, Harry could feel him shaking under the arm he had wrapped around his waist.

_I'll take care of you, and I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight._

Harry felt an arm bump his and he looked over to see Niall holding on to Liam from the other side. They stood their like that through the rest of the song, Harry on one side of Liam and Niall on the other, arms connected behind his back. When the song ended Liam curled into Niall and Harry wrapped his arms around him from behind while Louis and Aidan went to meet Zayn who was making his way off stage, tears visible in his eyes. "We should get you outside, yeah?" Harry suggested, and the three of them mad their way to the exit, stopping about halfway down the block so they were out of the way. 

"You guys need to talk," Niall said just on the edge of stern, surprising Harry a little. "I can't stand to see you like this, Li. You need to talk to him." 

"I know," Liam said, tears finally escaping out of the corners of his eyes. "I know." And it was then that Aidan and Louis showed up with Zayn who looked torn between wanting to approach Liam and wanting to run away. Harry sort of thought they should be left alone but it didn't feel right leaving them there in the middle of the street. He looked around at an uncertain Louis who seemed to be feeling the same way and Niall was backing up to stand closer to Aidan than Liam as if he too was thinking the same thing. "Zayn..." Liam whispered, and that's all it seemed to take to put Zayn in motion. He surged forward and wrapped his arms around Liam, burying a sob in his neck. Liam instantly reciprocated the embrace, clutching at the back of Zayn's shirt. Louis got the two of them a cab and the last thing they saw before it took them home was Zayn sliding into the back seat, holding Liam's hand and resting his head on his shoulder. He wasn't sure how things were going to work out between them, but he was hopeful. He'd only had a little over a month to get to know them as a couple but it was long enough to know they belonged together.

As a group they decided to call it a night, and Aidan and Louis headed off in the direction of their apartment as Niall and Harry were left alone together to walk home. Because as they had discovered after their second Thirsty outing, they lived about a block away from each other. Which meant most of the time he took care to either leave before or after Niall, and Tyler when he was with him. They walked in silence for a while until Niall spoke up. 

"So, you and Liam are good again," he said, kicking at a rock on the ground as he walked, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. 

"Yeah, I guess. We talked." Niall sounded annoyed and Harry couldn't decide why. 

"So everyone's cool with you now." 

"No, not everyone." Harry said, looking at Niall who was looking pointedly at the street. "Not you."

"Yeah, well..." Niall trailed off. 

"And I don't expect you to be." 

"Good. Because I don't know if I can be." He said quietly, all traces of annoyances gone from his voice. They were at Niall's street now and they stopped. 

"Goodnight, Niall." Harry said, not wanting to push the conversation. 

"See you tomorrow," Niall said, and Harry watched as he made his way up the street. He made his way back to his apartment, not quite knowing what to think about the conversation they had just had. Feeling maybe a little bit more heartbroken than he would like to admit.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, just a little warning, this chapter has the description/mention of a panic attack in it and a lot of negativity towards the end.

Niall couldn't decide how he felt about all of his friends forgiving Harry and accepting him back into their lives so soon. He hoped they didn't expect him to do the same, he wasn't sure if he could ever forgive him. He had forcibly changed Niall's life without so much as a warning. Niall had loved Harry so much, and Harry had made leaving Niall seem easy. It hurt. Even after all these years, it still hurt. Hurt thinking Niall hadn't meant as much to Harry as Harry had meant to Niall. And despite all this time and all the hurt, Harry still meant a lot to him. He still cared about him. 

Knowing Harry, it seemed, was like riding a bike. It was like everything he had known about him had been filed in the back of his brain, waiting to be extracted. Niall had been in charge of bringing snacks to Louis' one evening they had planned to watch movies and knowing Harry would be there had picked up a bag of black pepper potato chips he had remembered had been his favorite. And later he was satisfied when Harry took the bag for himself and sat eating them through most of the movie. He knew which drinks to bring Harry when it was his turn to buy them at the bar, knew which movies he'd want to watch on movie night and had instantly refused to be on his team when they played FIFA because he knew how horrible at it Harry was. There were tons of things he remembered that he felt like he'd probably never forget

When Niall walked into his apartment after karaoke night and his brief conversation with Harry, he was a little disappointed that Tyler wasn't home. At the beginning of their relationship they had both decided that they would spend Sundays apart. They spent so much time together and figured it would be good for their relationship to have a day to themselves. So Niall spent every Sunday with his friends, and Tyler spent every Suunday with his best friend Jason. Niall was friends with Jason through Tyler, but they didn't spend a lot of time together. It was much more likely that Tyler would spend time with Niall's friends than for Niall to spend time with Tyler's. It had never been a big deal though, Niall just didn't mesh as well with Jason as Tyler did with Liam, Louis, and Zayn. 

He kicked his shoes off by the front door and made his way into the kitchen to drink a glass of water. He was just about to head for the bathroom to get ready for bed when Tyler came home. Instantly Niall changed direction and headed towards the front door. 

"Hi love," Tyler said, smiling as soon as he caught sight of Niall. 

"Hey," Niall replied, wrapping his arms around Tyler's neck and kissing him on the lips. Tyler kissed back and Niall pulled away slightly, arms draped losely around his neck. "I missed you."

Tyler leaned forward and kissed Niall's nose, "I missed you too." it was as Tyler ran his hands up Niall's sides that he noticed the bruise on the side of his neck. biting his lip, he pressed down on it with two fingers and Tyler hissed.

"I didn't give you this," Niall said, and he hadn't. He knew it was from Jason, knew he was very tactile, had even witnessed Jason give Tyler a hickey before, but that didn't mean he liked it. He knew he did it for a laugh, but he had confronted Tyler in the past and told him he didn't like it. Didn't like Tyler being marked by anyone but himself. Tyler had laughed it off and said it didn't mean anything, and Niall knew that, he did. But he hated it every time it happened, was annoyed because Tyler knew that.

"No, it was Jason. You know how he is." Tyler shrugged.

"Yeah, and you know I don't like this." Niall pressed down on the bruise again.

"Niall, it's not a big deal."

"Maybe not, but I still don't like it. It's... Whatever. I'm going to sleep." He pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of Tyler's mouth, "Goodnight." 

Tyler tried calling him back but Niall ignored him and made his way into their bedroom. He stripped down to his boxers and curled up on his own side of the bed, falling asleep before Tyler ever entered the room.

He woke up late the next morning to Tyler who was smiling at him uncertainly, and breakfast in bed. "What time is it?" He asked, feeling around his nightstand for his phone.

"Ten," Tyler answered, and Niall sat up. He was late, he needed to get to work. "I called the studio, told them you were sick. Then I called the office and told them I was sick. And then I made your favorite breakfast and now we have the whole day to spend together." 

"Ty..." 

"Annnnd I thought maybe we could pick a day for our wedding, maybe call and book a venue. If you want."

"Really?" Niall asked, he was willing himself not to smile, trying to stay annoyed about the dark bruise still visible on Tyler's neck, but he couldn't find it in himself. 

"Yes, really. Now eat." 

They ate in silence for a while, and then Tyler leaned over and kissed Niall's cheek. "I'm sorry." He said, leaning his head on Niall's shoulder. "For the hickey. I know you don't like it, I won't let it happen again. Forgive me?"

"Okay." Niall sighed dramatically. "But only because you're so good at cooking eggs."

Tyler pressed a smile against Niall's neck and kissed him there. "I love you." 

"I love you too." He replied around a mouth full of food causing Tyler to chuckle before going back to his own breakfast. 

******************************************

They planned a date, April 22 of the following year. The venue they choose was outside with a beautifully finished barn they could have the reception in. They went online and created save the date cards and had them printed, and they planned an engagement party that was a month away. 

Niall spent days contemplating whether or not he should invite Harry to the engagement party. Either way it would be weird. It would be weird if he was there because of their previous relationship. Niall's family would be there and they knew Harry, had liked him very much and some of them had definitely expected them to get married before Harry had left him. And weird if he wasn't there because literally all of Harry's friends would be there. And at this point Niall had gotten so used to Harry being around when he was with his friends, despite the fact that they barely talked, that he thought it would feel a little weird if he wasn't there. Eventually he had decided to talk to Liam about it, burden someone else with his troubles. 

They were at Liam's and Zayn's apartment. Which they once again occupied together after making up on karaoke night. They were barely out of each other's sight after that, if Niall didn't know any better he'd start wondering if their hands had been surgically attached to one another. Zayn was still at work and Liam was making them tea as Niall sat on the counter. 

"I think it would be weird if you invited him," Liam said, leaning back against the stove, waiting for the kettle.

Niall bit his lip. "Me too, but... Don't you think it would be weird if he wasn't there?" 

Liam shrugged, "Not really. He isn't really that into your relationship with Tyler, if you haven't noticed. Although I think he's finally stopped cringing every time he sees your engagement ring."

Niall choose to ignore Liam's last comment. "Yeah, but I just feel like it would be weird to have all of you there without him."

"Why do you want him there so badly?"

Niall snapped his head up to look directly at Liam, he was starting to feel a little annoyed. "I don't!"

"Okay, okay. Then don't invite him." The kettle went off and Liam turned to prepare the tea. 

Niall sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He didn't know what was wrong with him, didn't know why he still felt so attached to Harry. Didn't know why he found himself looking over his shoulder during nights at Thirsty when Harry didn't show up or was late, hoping to catch him walking in the door.

Liam handed him his tea and he took it, blowing on it to avoid the way he knew Liam was looking at him. Concerned with a hint of calculation. "You've missed him." Liam said, finally. 

"Of course I did, but I got over it." 

Liam nodded. "But now he's back and constantly around and you miss him in a different way." 

Niall took a minute to think about this, thought it seemed like a perfect explanation to what he was feeling. When Harry had left he had missed having him around. For the longest time Niall had felt like there was a huge hole in his life where Harry had been. But now that he was back he missed being with him. It wasn't even really conscious, he was happily engaged to the man he loved but suddenly he had been forced into remembering all of these memories and little things about Harry he had so carefully repressed, and he missed him. "I shouldn't," Niall said, feeling awful at the realization. "It's not fair, it's not right." 

Liam shook his head. "Don't beat yourself up over this, it's not as big of a deal as you're thinking it is. It's natural, it'll pass." 

"I hate this." 

"I know." Liam put his tea down and pulled Niall off the counter, wrapping his arms around him. "Things will get better." Just then Zayn came in, home from work, and quirked an eyebrow.

"Why all the serious hugging?" 

"Support for Niall," Liam answered, and Zayn joined them, hugging Niall from behind. 

Niall let out a small laugh, "I love you guys." 

"Love you too," they both said, and even though Niall didn't necessarily feel better, he knew he'd get through this with the help of his friends. 

******************************************

In the end Niall didn't invite Harry to the engagement party, it hadn't felt appropriate. 

It was a great party. He loved having his family and friends come together with all of Tyler's family and friends. Loved it even more since they all seemed to be so happy and get along so well. And they were all so supportive of him and Tyler. Walking around the party with Tyler, visiting with all their family and friends and telling the stories of how they met and how Tyler had proposed, it was a fantastic feeling. He felt like he and Tyler could conquer the world together, and looking over at Tyler and seeing a look of complete happiness and adoration on his face, he had known that that was where his life was supposed to take him.

It was the Sunday after the engagement party, Tyler was with Jason and Niall was going out with Liam, Zayn, Louis, Aidan, and Harry. Niall was content to go to Thirsty but Louis had wanted to try going to a new bar. It had just opened recently and Louis had heard good things about, said the music was better and the drink selection was bigger. It was further away than Thirsry though, so they piled into two cabs and made their way to the bar. 

The new bar, Neon, was crowded. They walked in and Harry and Aidan went to get drinks while the other four went to find a space they could occupy that wasn't filled with sweaty, half drunken people shouting to one another in order to communicate. They ended up circling back around and as they got closer to the bar, Niall caught sight of Tyler standing with Jason.

At first he was pleasantly surprised, he turned to Liam who was closest to him and pointed them out and the four of them headed towards the pair. As they got closer, Niall could see that Jason was standing with his hands on Tyler's hips. The two were standing close to one another, hips pressed together. He watched as Tyler wrapped his arms around Jason's neck and he hesitated, coming to a stop causing Liam to run into his back. And it was then that Tyler leaned further into Jason and kissed him. Niall couldn't look away. He stared in shock as his fiancé kissed another man. It wasn't just a peck, either. Their bodies were moulded together, Tyler was stroking the back of Jason's neck intimately as if it was something he was used to doing, practiced, and Jason's hands were slipped under the sides of Tyler's shirt, resting on bare skin. Skin nobody should have been touching but Niall. Vaguely he was aware of the familiar faces of Harry and Aidan watching the scene unfold from just to the right of the couple. Vaguely he was aware that Harry had looked away and noticed Niall falling apart in the middle of the bar. He could hear Louis saying something behind him, voice angry. Liam's hands had come to rest on his waist and he hadn't even realized it but he was barely holding himself up. He was leaning back into Liam, Zayn was squeezing his hand. His mouth was dry and his legs felt like jello, he couldn't breathe and he was definitely panicking. 

He took a shaky breath in and watched as Harry approached Tyler and punched him square in the face. "Shit." Louis was saying, "Shit. I'll be right back, get Niall out of here." Suddenly his view of Tyler and Harry was blocked by Zayn who had a hand on each of his shoulders.

"Breathe Niall, you need to breathe." The overcrowded bar was too much, he felt like the walls were closing in, like the strangers surrounding them were getting closer. Someone jostled Zayn's arm on his shoulder and Niall winced. He tried taking a breath in but he didn't feel like he could get enough air, his head was spinning and his thoughts were racing. Is this what Tyler and Jason had been doing every Sunday they hung out? Was this why Tyler would occasionally come home with hickies? Did they do more than just kiss? How could this be happening? They were supposed to be getting married. He couldn't breathe. 

He was being half carried, half dragged out of the bar by Liam, Zayn following close behind. "We're going to take you back to ours, is that okay?" Liam was asking. He nodded once and pressed his lips together. His head was pounding, his heart was racing and his stomach was clenching. A part of him knew he needed to calm down, knew he was having a panic attack, but he couldn't make it stop. He hated this part of himself. Hated that he couldn't handle basic human emotions. He felt so stupid and weak. He was gently pushed into a cab by Zayn and the three of them rode to Zayn and Liam's in silence, tears streaking their way down Niall's cheeks. 

He wasn't sure how long he sat curled up on the sofa until he felt like he could breathe again. Long enough for Liam to make them all tea, long enough for Zayn to change out of the ridiculously tight skinny jeans he had been wearing. Long enough for there to be a slight commotion at the door as Louis, Aidan, and Harry came in. Zayn followed Harry and Louis into the kitchen while Aidan came into the living room and sat in the armchair. "They're cleaning Harry's hand up," Aidan said a little awkwardly, running a hand through his hair. "From the uh... punch. Don't think he realized how much that would hurt. His knuckles are all bruised." Which meant Tyler's face was probably also in pain, Niall thought. And if he wasn't so busy trying to fight off tears, he probably would have laughed dryly. His ex boyfriend who had left him so abruptly four years ago, seemingly without a second thought, who Niall was fairly certain had never even thought of hitting another human before, had punched his current fiancé for cheating. "Gave Tyler a pretty decent black eye though," Aidan added. "And Louis sort of yelled at him a lot. He wanted to come see you Niall, but Louis wouldn't let him. Told him to leave you alone til you were ready to talk. 

"How am I supposed to talk to him?" Niall asked, not really expecting an answer. "What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, saw you making out with your best friend, is that a regular thing you do? Do you fuck him too?'" Niall laughed self depricatingly. "This is probably what they've been doing every Sunday for the past two years and I was just too stupid to realize." He felt the tears starting again and he didn't even bother trying to wipe them away. What was the point? His chest ached, he felt like his heart had dropped completely out of his body. He somehow felt numb and pained all at the same time. He wished tonight had never happened. 

Liam wrapped his arms around him and pulled him against his chest. Niall went willingly, curling up against him. The other guys came in the room then, Louis still looked absolutely livid, Niall had a feeling he'd find Tyler and murder him if he asked. Harry was looking a little sheepish, holding ice to his right hand. Zayn sat down on Niall's other side and started running a hand comfortingly through his hair. Niall closed his eyes. He didn't want to be here anymore, didn't want to be anywhere. He wanted to be back in his bed with Tyler, oblivious to the fact he had kissed Jason.

Niall's phone started vibrating in his pocket, he went to reach for it but Zayn pulled it out before Niall had managed to disentangle himself from Liam. "I don't think you should talk to him tonight," Zayn said gently.

"I don't want to." Zayn nodded and turned Niall's phone off, sliding it into his own pocket. "They looked so comfortable and familiar with each other." Niall said sniffing. "That wasn't a first kiss. I'm so stupid. I can't believe... I never suspected...."

"No, you're not stupid, Niall." Liam said. 

"You didn't know because he didn't want you to." Zayn added, resuming his original position, running his hand through Niall's hair. 

Louis spoke up, "He's an asshole, he took your trust for granted. This isn't your fault, Nialler." 

"Yeah, don't blame yourself for this dude, this is all on Tyler." Aidan agreed. 

"I don't even know why I bothered with a relationship, I don't know why he stayed in the first place. It took me months to convince myself he wasn't going to leave. Months and months of promises and he was so patient. And now I know it's because he didn't have to leave to get something better, instead he stayed and got it behind my back." Niall stopped and sniffed, clutching at Liam's shirt. Why did this have to hurt so much? He should have known. "I've never been good enough." He finished quietly." 

There was a crash, bringing Niall temporarily out of his head. He glanced towards the source of the noise to see Harry had dropped the ice he'd been holding. And, well, shit. So caught up in his own feelings he had kind of forgotten Harry was still there. "I'm sorry... I'm... I'm sorry." Harry said, bending over to pick up the ice. "I'm sorry, I should... I should leave." He looked at Niall then, brown eyes wide and sincere. "I'm sorry." He repeated, and he turned to leave, Louis following him out the door.

******************************************

Niall stayed at Liam and Zayn's that night. Before he fell asleep, he texted the head tech at the studio, letting her know he wouldn't be coming into work the next day. When he turned his phone on, he found 17 missed calls from Tyler along with a few voicemails and text messages. He didn't check them and when he was finished with his text, he turned his phone off again. It took him hours to fall asleep, waking up twice from nightmares. It was something that tended to happen when he tried to sleep when he was stressed. 

He woke up the next day to find Zayn sitting in the room with him, reading a book. Niall rubbed at his eyes, he felt awful. He had a headache, his eyes were puffy, his mouth was dry and his throat was sore. "Morning," Zayn said, noticing Niall moving around. 

Niall sat up and stretched. "You stayed home with me?"

"'Course I did." He tilted his head towards the coffee table, "You've got food waiting for you. And coffee." 

It was a vanilla latte with a pinch of cinnamon and a chocolate chip muffin from The Daily Bean. He figured it must have been from Harry. 

"Harry brought it over on his break," Zayn said, confirming Niall's suspicion. 

He started eating slowly, picking at the muffin and sipping at his coffee. "I have to talk to Tyler today. Whatever's going to happen, I need to get it over with." He sort of wanted to live on Liam and Zayn's sofa forever, stay inside and never face reality. But it probably wasn't healthy to live in some sort of relationship limbo for the rest of his life, and he knew he had to get this sorted out. Knew by the way he was feeling that he'd probably never be able to fully forgive Tyler, knew he was probably going to break up with him. And not only did the thought of breaking up with him hurt, but it was humiliating. They'd had an engagement party, sent out save the dates, picked out a venue and everyone knew. Now he'd be forced to tell everyone it was over, and everyone would think he was some sort of failure who couldn't keep a relationship. Maybe they were right. 

"Whatever you decide, we're all here for you," Zayn said. "Tyler's probably waiting for you to call, he texted me a few times, I told him you were still sleeping." 

Niall finished eating and then he turned on his phone, he had a few more missed calls from Tyler. He ignored all the messages and voicemails he had sent and pressed call. The phone only rang once before Tyler answered. 

"Niall, love. Thank god, I am so sorry, I--"

Niall interrupted, "Not... not over the phone, okay? We need to do this in person. Come to Liam and Zayn's and we can talk." 

"Okay," Tyler agreed. "I'll see you soon, I love you." 

Niall hung up. "I have to shower," he told Zayn. "Tyler's on his way here." 

"You can borrow some of my clothes if you want, they'll fit you better than Liam's." Niall nodded and stood up, Zayn was at his side instantly, hugging him tightly. Niall hugged back and then headed down the hall where he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt he knew to be Zayn's before heading into the shower. He didn't take as long as he would have liked to, knowing it wouldn't take Tyler long to get to the apartment, knowing he'd be waiting there when Niall got out. He did his best to keep his emotions in check. He didn't want to be a mess when they talked. Didn't want to go out there and already be crying before the conversation even started. He wished he were more like Louis. Everyone knew Louis had a lot of emotions, he yelled dramatically about them regularly, but he rarely ever cried. But Niall was a crier, and there was nothing he could do to change that. 

When he entered the living room, Tyler jumped up from the chair he had been occupying and Zayn took his leave, passing by Niall on his way out, telling him he'd be in the bedroom if he needed him. Tyler crossed the room and tried wrapping his arms around him, but Niall placed a hand on his chest, gently pushing him back. He let his arms fall limply to his sides. For a minute they were quiet, Niall studied Tyler's black eye and still couldn't decide if he felt badly about it or not. "Niall..." Tyler started, and then stopped, biting his lip.

"We should sit." They sat on opposite ends of the sofa, Tyler's body turned in towards Niall. "That wasn't the first time you and Jason kissed." Niall stated firmly, leaving no room for argument. 

Tyler looked down, "No, it wasn't." 

"How many times?" Niall asked, and Tyler looked back up at him then, and he knew then that he was right in thinking this had been an ongoing thing. Could tell by the look of guilt written all over his fiance's face. "How long has this been going on, Tyler?" 

"You know... before we got together, Jason and I used to hook up, just for fun. And then... then when you and I started dating it just... it sort of never stopped." Their whole relationship, Tyler had been cheating on him their whole relationship. Niall was livid, he decided not to feel bad about the black eye.

"And what did you plan on doing when we got married? Huh? Did you plan on keeping it going? Were you gonna sneak off every Sunday to fuck him even when we had children? Did you ever plan on stopping?" Niall knew he was getting loud, voice bordering on shouting, but he really didn't care. 

"It stops now. I won't do it anymore, Niall. I swear. I'll never see him again if you don't want me to." 

Niall let out a breath and shook his head. "Don't stop seeing him on my account, it's never stopped you before. Fuck him all you want for all I care."

"Niall, please, I love you. Please let me make this right." He was begging, tears were running down his cheeks. He tried taking Niall's hand, but once again Niall pushed him away. 

"No. There's nothing left to make right, we're done. I can't be with you anymore, not after this." 

"But we're engaged, I love you! You can't just walk away from this, we can figure something out." 

"And you've been fucking another man behind my back for over two years! Nothing you do or say could fix this." 

"We have an apartment together, we have a life together. Please." 

"No we don't, not anymore. You can stay at the apartment, I don't want it. I'll stay here until I can find a new place. I'll let you know when I'm coming to get my stuff so you can make sure you're not there. I really don't want to see you again if I don't have to." Niall could see it on Tyler's face the moment he realized Niall was serious. It broke Niall's heart, but he knew he was doing the right thing for himself. Knew he'd never be able to trust Tyler again so there was no reason to give him false hope. Knew the man in front of him, the man he had spent so much time loving, wasn't really the person Niall had thought he was. Niall knew he deserved better. So he stood up and walked him to the front door, when the got there, Niall slid off his engagement and held it out. 

Tyler took it, and pulled him into a hug, Niall let him. "I am so sorry," he said then, and Niall could feel his tears dripping down onto his neck. "I know it probably doesn't seem like it right now, but I really did love you, Niall." And he left. Niall shut the door behind him and made his way down the hallway to Zayn and Liam's bedroom. He didn't say anything once he got there, just crawled into the bed next to Zayn and let himself fall apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt kind of bad as I was writing this because I keep making Niall suffer, I swear things will look up for him eventually. 
> 
> ALSO! Thanks to everyone who's been leaving me kudos and comments, I enjoy all of them. :)


	11. Chapter 11

Niall hadn't shown up for his morning coffee for the past three days, so every day on his break, Harry went to Zayn and Liam's and dropped off a vanilla latte with a pinch of cinnamon and a pastry item. On Monday Zayn had answered the door, he had told Harry he was staying home with Niall, didn't want him to be alone. On Tuesday it was Liam, and on Wednesday it had been Louis who had explained that the studio Niall worked at had given him the week off, and they were each taking a day off work to stay with him so he wouldn't have to be alone.

On Thursday he was surprised when he looked up from the chai tea latte he was making for a middle aged man talking on his cell phone, to see Niall and Aidan walk through the door. He finished the drink he was working on and the man took it without a thank you, passing Niall and Aidan on his way out the door. 

"Hey Styles," Aidan said walking up to the counter. "Make me a large mocha while I pee." 

"Bathroom's in the corner," Harry replied, starting on Aidan's and Niall's coffees. He hadn't seen Niall since Sunday, since Niall had been curled up in Liam's arms claiming he wasn't good enough for anyone. It had taken every ounce of restraint Harry possessed not to correct him. Had wanted to tell Niall he was too good, better than Tyler and himself who were both completely stupid for letting Niall get away. But he hadn't. Instead he had awkwardly apologized and then practically ran out of the house.

He looked tired, his bleach blonde hair was down, he had dark circles under his blue eyes that seemed closer to grey today. He was wearing baggy sweatpants that Harry was pretty sure belonged to Liam, and a plain white t-shirt. Harry still thought he looked good. His lips tilted up ever so slightly at the corners when he noticed Harry staring. "Hey," he said, tilting his head in greeting. 

"Hi," Harry replied, setting Niall's drink down on the counter and moving on to Aidan's mocha. 

Niall picked up his drink and moved over towards the pastry display "You got any of those peach cobbler muffins you brought over the other day?" he asked. "Thanks for that, by the way." 

"Oh." Harry was a little surprised, Niall had never really acknowledged the fact Harry had his coffee ready every day aside from at the beginning when he had tried offering to pay. "You're welcome. And uh, yeah. I think we have a few." 

Niall nodded, took a sip of his coffee. Aidan was back from the bathroom now, standing next to Niall, looking into the pastry case "And thanks for punching Tyler, he had a pretty decent black eye when I broke up with him..." Done with Aidan's coffee, Harry looked up at Niall who was looking anywhere but at Harry. His voice had gotten quiet near the end of his sentence, trailing off. He looked sincere though, no hint of sarcasm in his features. "How's your hand?" 

Harry looked down at the knuckles of his right hand, still a little swollen, bruise beginning to fade to yellow. "It's okay, just a little swollen" he shrugged. 

Niall was looking at him now, he seemed a little nervous, if not determined. "Let me see." Harry held up his hand and Niall reached out for it. Harry thought he felt his entire being jolt when Niall took his hand, and he sincerely hoped the other man hadn't noticed. "You've got a bruise," Niall said, running his thumb gently over Harry's knuckles before pulling his hand back. Harry felt like electricity was coursing through his body. 

"Can I get one of those chocolate pastries with the cream," Aidan interrupted, looking up from the pastry case. 

"Yeah, sure." Harry answered, looking away from Niall. He took out a bag and put Aidan's chocolate pastry and the peach muffin Niall had mentioned earlier in it. 

"You coming out with us tonight, Harry?" Aidan asked, taking the bag of pastries. 

"Yeah, I think so."

"We're trying to get Niall to come out with us, says he doesn't feel like it." 

Niall frowned and gave Aidan a small shove. "I don't. M'just gonna stay in and watch some movies."

"But that's what you've been doing all week." 

"It's only been three days, I'm in mourning!" 

"I think getting wasted is the third stage of grief," Aidan said seriously. 

Harry snorted. "Think he's right, Niall. You should come out with us." 

Niall looked down, shrugged non-commitaly, "Maybe."

Harry took out another bag, placed another peach cobbler muffin in it and silently held it out to Niall. He took it, quirking an eyebrow in amusement. "When are you going to stop giving me free food and drinks?" He asked lightly, Harry was relieved to hear he didn't sound annoyed. 

"When you stop accepting them." 

"Right. Bye Harry," Niall said, giving a short wave. 

Aidan and Harry echoed his goodbye and Harry watched as Niall and Aidan left before getting to work cleaning stray crumbs and drops of coffee off the counter. 

******************************************

When Harry showed up at Thirsty later, he was happy to see Niall was there with Zayn, and Liam who was standing with one hand slid into Zayn's back pocket. And maybe he didn't have the right to be happy about it. Maybe he had long ago given up any right he had to feel any way towards Niall when he had walked out on him, but he couldn't help himself. 

He couldn't help but feel a strange sense of relief every time Niall was around. Like he was finally at ease. He couldn't help but stare every time Niall threw his head back in a laugh. He was beautiful when he laughed. He couldn't help but feel a sense of attraction when he noticed how good the grey t-shirt Niall was wearing looked stretched taught across his chest. And he couldn't help the way he wanted to reach out and comfort him when he realized how uncomfortable he was to be standing in the bar. 

"Hey," he said, walking up to them and knocking his shoulder gently against Niall's. "Where are Lou and Aidan?" 

"On their way I think, Aidan went home to change when Liam came home." 

"So they're probably having a quickie then." Zayn said, "Still can't keep their hands off each other." 

"Says the man who's boyfriend is grabbing his ass" Louis quipped, coming up behind Zayn, Aidan trailing behind, holding onto his hand. Liam did grab Zayn's ass then, and Zayn whacked his arm playful. 

"Okay, I'm gonna go get a round." Niall said.

"Yeah, I'm gonna help, you all get your groping out before we get back" Harry added. 

Harry followed Niall to the bar, they ordered the drinks and Niall stood quietly, biting at one of his nails. It was one of his nervous habits. "You okay?" Harry asked, afraid he was crossing a line. Afraid Niall was going to tell him to fuck off. 

"No. I really didn't want to come out tonight." Niall didn't look at Harry as he spoke, instead facing the bar. "Don't really feel like being in public." 

"You came to The Daily Bean this morning." 

"That wasn't the public, just you." Harry wasn't sure if he should feel good he didn't count as the public, or offended. He tentatively decided to believe it meant Niall felt comfortable around him. 

"If you wanna leave, I won't let the others try to stop you," Harry said, picking up three of the drinks the bartender had set in front of them. Niall paid and collected the other three.

"Nah, I'll stay. Already got my beer, might as well drink away the pain or whatever. Maybe getting wasted really is the third stage of grief." 

Harry only had one drink that night. He spent the rest of the evening talking to the other guys and pressing water bottles into Niall's hand, watching as he became more and more drunk, loosening up and chatting up people at the bar. Running a hand down the chest of some blonde guy with a bad hair cut. "Looking a little possessive there, Styles." Louis said, slinging an arm around Harry's shoulders. 

"I am not. I'm just keeping an eye on him. He's really drunk." 

"Uh huh." 

"Louis..." 

"Harry, you still look at him like he hung the moon."

"Cliche." 

"Don't deflect."

"I'm allowed to care about him."

"Of course you are, but he's vulnerable right now. You need to be careful with him."

"Okay, Mrs. Horan."

Louis pinched him then, and maybe he deserved it. "I'm being serious. Listen, as far as I'm concerned the two of you are going to end up married with five children one day, but you have to do it right. You can't hurt him again, I won't allow it. And now isn't the time to make any sort of move." 

"I know." Harry nodded, "I'm not going to try anything, I just want to make sure he's okay." Aidan came over then and diverted Louis' attention away from Harry. Harry took the opportunity to walk away from the conversation.

Niall was alone when Harry found him next, standing off to the side of everyone else, sipping a beer. When Harry approached him he looked up, eyes wild. "Take me home." He said. Demanded. 

"Okay," Harry answered, thinking that was probably for the best. "I'll find Liam and get his keys, stay with you until he and Zayn get back."

"No," he reached out and grabbed at Harry, catching his shirt and pulling him forward. "Take me home with you." 

And no, this wasn't right. Wasn't what Harry wanted at all. Knew it wasn't what Niall really wanted either. He tried to take a step back but Niall tugged harder, causing Harry to stumble into his chest, nearly knocking them both over. He gripped Niall's biceps and held them both upright. "Niall, I'm taking you back to Liam and Zayn's, and when we get there you're going to go straight to sleep. Okay?"

"No, no, not okay," he slurred. "I want you. Take me home. Please." He was clumsily trying and failing to slide his hands under Harry's shirt. "Need you to want me."

The intense look on Niall's face was enough to make Harry's throat go dry, he closed his eyes and swallowed once, willing himself to get through this. "No. You don't want this Niall, it won't make you feel better." 

"Yes it will," he whined, "it will!" Harry half expected him to stomp his foot like a petulant child. 

Carefully Harry managed to extract the front of his shirt from Niall's hand. He took his wrist and led him, pouting, over to Liam and Zayn. The second Harry let go of Niall's wrist, he pressed himself against Harry's back and wrapped his arms around his middle. Harry tried his best to ignore him completely even though he felt like his heart was about to pound out of his chest. Liam's eyebrows were raised so high Harry wondered if they were about to escape his forehead. "He's drunk. Really really drunk." he said as explanation. 

"Clearly." Zayn said, looking at Niall unamused. 

"I'm just gonna take him back to yours and get him set up on the couch. He'll probably fall asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow." Zayn and Liam exchanged a look Harry couldn't interpret. 

"We'll come with you," Liam said, and he moved to peel Niall off of Harry's back. He felt a mixture of loss and relief when Liam finally managed to free him.

Liam led Niall out of the bar with an arm around his waist, Niall's arm was hanging over Liam's shoulder, patting it roughly. Harry trailed behind them with Zayn. They decided to walk back to Liam and Zayn's, sparing a cab driver Niall's drunkenness and hoping the fresh air might sober him up a bit. 

"He told us he didn't want to go out tonight," Zayn said, gesturing at Niall who was tugging on a disgruntled Liam's ear. "Maybe we should have let him." 

"That might have been for the best," Harry agreed, as Niall started pinching Liam's cheek. 

"Niall! C'mon, stop!" Liam was struggling to simultaneously hold Niall up and bat his hand away." 

"But your face is so squishy, Li." Niall slurred seriously, poking at his jaw. It was then that all of Liam's wiggling around paired with Niall's inability to stay upright on his own caused them to lose balance. Harry reacted just in time, throwing his arms out allowing Niall to fall gracelessly into them. Zayn too had acted quickly, grabbing onto Liam's arm, keeping him upright. 

"Hiiiiiiii" Niall drawled out, grinning wickedly up at Harry. Harry set him back on his feet and he swayed, Liam went to put an arm around him again but Niall pushed it away. "No, you failed me, Li." He sighed dramatically, "Harry has to help me now." 

Liam sent Niall a stern look, "Niall..."

Niall ignored him and held his arm out to Harry. Harry felt like he could barely keep up with what was happening, had to detach himself from the situation in order to get Niall home safely without having some sort of mental breakdown himself. 

Harry looped his arm through Niall's silently and started leading him down the street. Niall laid his head on Harry's shoulder and Harry wished the look Liam shot him could actually kill because he wanted to disappear into the ground. This shouldn't be happening. Not like this, not while Niall was drunk and newly broken up with his ex-fiance. 

********************************************************

They got to Liam and Zayn's without further incident. Niall had gone quiet once he was secure next to Harry, and had only tripped once during the rest of their walk. Liam opened the door and Harry pulled his arm out of Niall's, and helped him step through the doorway. Once they were inside Harry sat Niall down on the sofa and Zayn brought him a glass of water from the kitchen. Niall sipped at the water while Harry knelt down to tug his shoes off. He could feel Liam and Zayn watching him. "Don't feel so good," Niall groaned, setting the glass aside and doubling over, head between his knees. It wasn't long before he was shooting up from his seat and running into the bathroom, Liam, Zayn, and Harry looked at each other. They could hear Niall being sick from their spots in the living room. 

"I'll go," Harry said, Liam tried to protest but he didn't give him the chance. He made his way to the entrance of the bathroom where Niall had left the door open in his haste. He was sitting with his back against the tub next to the toilet, his face was flushed and sweaty and there were tears in his eyes. Harry's heart sank. He'd take inappropriately frisky, drunk Niall over sad, crying drunk Niall any day.

"Go away," Niall said once he noticed Harry standing in the doorway, running his hands down his face, "M'gross." 

And yeah, maybe Niall was a little gross. The bathroom smelled like vomit, there was a trail down his chin, and a sizable spot down the front of his shirt. His cloudy blue eyes were bloodshot and glistening with unshed tears. His hair was sticking up in different directions, and he had his knees pulled up to his chest. But Harry had seen worse. Had taken care of Niall the first time he had gotten drunk when they were sixteen and he had thrown up all over Harry's favorite pair of jeans. Had taken care of him when he had eaten a bad breakfast burrito and gotten food poisoning so bad Harry had had to take him to the hospital. Harry wasn't a stranger to gross Niall, and it didn't change the fact that he wanted to reach out and comfort him. But he refrained, instead turning to pull a cloth out of the closet and wet it with warm water in the sink. 

He knelt down next to Niall then who had bowed his head against his knees. "Let me get you cleaned up," he murmured, hand hovering near Niall's hidden face, not sure if he was allowed to touch, or even if he should. 

"No."

"Niall, c'mon. Let's get you cleaned up so you can sleep this off." Harry hesitated before reaching out to rub gently at Niall's shoulder. "C'mon." 

Niall raised his head then, and gently Harry began using the cloth to wipe at Niall's face, cleaning off his mouth and chin. "Nobody wants me," Niall said sadly, "I'm not enough for anyone." Harry pulled his hand back and looked into Niall's eyes. His heart was beating painfully in his chest. They held eye contact, something they hadn't done since before Harry had left.

"Niall... that's... that's not true." He knew it was unlikely Niall would even remember this in the morning, knew he could probably ignore it and get Niall some new clothes from Zayn or Liam and then put him to sleep on the sofa and he'd never even know Harry had avoided the statement. But he couldn't ignore the sadness in Niall's voice or the dullness of his eyes. It hurt to see him like this,Harry choked on the thought that this may have been what he was like after he had left him years ago. "You're more than enough. Tyler's just too much of an ass to see that."

Niall blinked slowly and reached out to wrap his fingers around Harry's wrist. "What about you?"

"I've never stopped thinking you're the best person I know." Harry said sincerely, Niall didn't reply so Harry got to his feet and pulled Niall up with him. He was clearly slipping into the sleepy stage of his drubkeness because Harry practically had to drag him into Liam and Zayn's bedroom to find him something comfortable to wear to bed. He pulled a plain t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants out of the closet and handed them to Niall who had successfully managed to pull his shirt off after only two failed attempts. Harry barely let himself glance at Niall's naked torso before he diverted his gaze and turned away. 

He wasn't sure exactly how long he stood there waiting for Niall to finish changing, but he was acutely aware of the fact there was a struggle going on behind him between Niall and the incredibly tight jeans he had been wearing. Finally the noises died down and Harry turned when Niall said his name. He had been expecting to find Niall ready to go back out to the others in the living room, instead a laugh threatened to escape when he found Niall sitting on the bed, still trying to tug his jeans off one leg which was up in the air, the denim around his knee, the other side still around his thigh. "Help," he said, a little desperately and Harry did laugh then which earned him a half-hearted glare. 

He walked over to Niall on the bed, "Sorry, sorry. Totally not funny." He instructed Niall to lay back and he did. Harry made a quick job of bending over him and tugging the pants off in one swift motion. He handed him the sweatpants and stepped back, trying to slow his breathing. Couldn't help the arousal he felt over undressing his ex boyfriend. He was relieved when Niall pulled on the sweatpants, and the two made their way back out to the living room, Niall leaning against Harry the whole way. 

"Everything good?" Liam asked, eyeing them suspiciously. Harry had learned quickly that despite the fact him and Liam were getting on much better now, he was still very protective over Niall when it came to him and Harry interacting. 

"Yeah," Harry answered, trying not to feel annoyed. He understood where Liam was coming from, he really did. "I think he's ready to sleep now." 

"M'Ready." Niall yawned from next to him. He plopped himself down on the sofa and was snoring almost the minute his head hit the cushions. Liam stood up and arranged Niall so he was in a decent sleeping position and Harry followed Zayn into the kitchen while Liam got to work draping a blanket around Niall. 

"You should stay." Zayn blurted the minute they were out of earshot.

"What?" Harry asked, genuinely confused. 

"I mean tonight, you should sleep here. Call off work tomorrow and stay with Niall." He shrugged a little too casually. "Put in your time like the rest of us." 

"I don't know, I probably shouldn't. Liam... "

"Will deal with it. You care about Niall just like the rest of us, and he hasn't complained about you being around. I think it'll be good if you two can be friends. Besides, he'll be hungover so it'll probably just be a lot of whining and complaining."

Harry bit down on his lip. He didn't want to start trouble with Liam, and he didn't want to make Niall feel uncomfortable. But a part of him was pretty sure Niall wouldn't feel uncomfortable. And Zayn was right, Niall would probably spend the majority of the next day whining about his hangover. So he agreed and made himself as comfortable as he could in a chair under a blanket Liam had retrieved for him, surprised Liam hadn't put up too much of a fuss. And he drifted off to sleep to the sound of Niall snoring from a few feet away.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably just as impatient as some of you are to get to the Narry, so here's another chapter! :D

Niall woke up to the smell of bacon. It was a glorious smell, one that had his stomach grumbling for it and his pain riddled, hangover laden head aching for it. Greasy breakfast food to soothe the pounding and soak up the discomfort. He sat up slowly, rubbing at his eyes. The curtains were still drawn but the sunlight peeking through the cracks had him pressing his hands to his eyelids. When he finally removed his hands from his face he noticed two pain relievers set out next to a glass of water on the coffee table in front of him. He took the pain relievers with the first sip of water, and with the rest, slowly moistned away the dry cotton feeling in his mouth, leftover from a night of too much alcohol and being too drunk to brush his teeth. 

Once he was finished with the water, he headed down the hallway to the bathroom to pee and brush his teeth with the extra toothbrush Zayn had given him. The third toothbrush in the cup reminded him of the fact that he wasn't staying at his apartment anymore, didn't really have a home. It also reminded him of the reason he had gotten so spectacularly drunk the night before, he groaned quietly and washed his face before heading out to the kitchen, thinking about how fucked up his life had suddenly become. 

Harry had his back to him when Niall spotted him, simultaneously flipping bacon with one hand and scrambling eggs with the other. He had always been more skilled at cooking than anyone Niall had known. Out shining even Niall's own mother whose cooking he held in the highest of regards. Niall stood quietly in the doorway, there was a song playing from Harry's phone which he was singing and shaking his hips along with as he cooked.

_what if it was you? you that I needed all along. I felt like a fool, kicking and screaming pretending we were wrong._

Niall cleared his throat and Harry spun around, spatula in one hand, tongs in the other. He was wearing a white apron that said "KISS THE COOK" in bright red letters that Niall recognized as a Christmas gift Zayn had gotten for Liam a few years ago. His long curly hair was pulled back in a bun, he had on a pair of basketball shorts which definitely belonged to Liam, the way they hung low on his hips, and a tight black t-shirt which was Zayn's, judging by the way it stretched tightly across his shoulders and the sleeves hugged his biceps. It was far too early and he was far too hung over to to deal with the wave of fondness that hit him when he saw the goofy, startled look on Harry's face. "You're alive!" He said, way too chipper for Niall's liking. But Niall didn't miss the slight blush that crept up Harry's cheeks, or the nervous waver in his exclamation. He got the feeling he was uncertain of whether or not Niall felt he was welcome there. And in all honesty, Niall himself was uncertain. But Harry had made breakfast and breakfast was something Niall was certain about.

"Barely" he replied, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. Harry stared for a second before blinking and giving his head a shake. Harry seemed to be doing a lot of staring lately. Niall put that on his mental list of things about Harry he choose not to think about. Like the proud look he got on his face when he made Niall laugh, the free coffees he got every morning on his way to work, or his general protective nature towards Niall. He was afraid of what it would mean if he added all these things up, so he kept them separate and did his best not to dwell. Harry handed him a mug of steaming hot coffee then, and he accepted it gratefully. 

"Not as good as The Daily Bean, but it's all Liam and Zayn have." Harry stated as he went back to cooking. 

"Thanks," Niall said sitting down at the table, dropping his forehead down onto the cool surface. He wished the room would stop spinning. Wished his life would stop spinning.

"How are you feeling?" Harry asked, sitting a plate down in front of Niall. He lifted his head to find a plate filled with scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, and orange slices. He sat up, wanting nothing more than to rest his heavy head but instead he picked up the fork Harry had slid next to his hand and stabbed at his eggs. 

"Awful," he answered, taking a bite. 

"Did you take the pain relievers?" 

"Yeah, thanks for that. And breakfast."

"You're welcome."

Harry was sitting across from him now, slowly working his way through his own plate of food. Rather than making conversation, Niall tried to work his way through the events of the night before. He could remember getting to the bar with Zayn and Liam, he knew Harry had shown up not long after and Louis and Aidan were last. He remembered buying drinks at the bar with Harry and he had a vague recollection of being force fed water by him all night. And he nearly choked on his bacon when concentrated and remembered propositioning Harry. 

"You alright?" Harry asked, looking up at him. 

Niall took a huge drink of coffee before trusting himself to reply. "I'm never drinking alcohol again." 

"I tell myself that every time I wake up with a hangover." 

"No, this is worse." 

"You're hangover?"

"No, me trying to get you to sleep with me."

Harry went still, fork full of eggs halfway to his mouth. "That... It wasn't a big deal, really. Don't worry about it." 

Don't worry about it. Right. Not a week since he had found out his fiancé had been cheating on him regularly, and he was already trying to drunkenly hook up with his ex boyfriend. Things were going great, fantastic even. Niall wondered if there was a way to stop existing for a while, maybe come back when things started looking up. When he wasn't such a mess. "I'm a mess." 

"Everyone's allowed to be a mess sometimes." 

Niall shook his head, "I don't want to be a mess, not like this." He didn't want to be having this conversation with Harry, didn't want to be having any conversation with Harry, but Harry was there whether he liked it or not and he couldn't seem to stop talking. "I almost had a breakdown over a toothbrush this morning because I realized I didn't have a home anymore. I don't have a home, I don't even have my stuff. I've spent nearly a week living on my best friends' sofa, wearing their clothes." Suddenly Niall wasn't so hungry anymore, his head was pounding and his chest was aching, he pushed his plate of food away and dropped his head into his hands. "I don't even have my stuff," he repeated and it took every ounce of will power he had not to start bawling right there in front of Harry, all over his half-eaten breakfast.

He didn't have his stuff, he didn't have a home, a week ago he had what he thought was an excellent fiancé, a nice apartment, the beginning of a promising life with a man he loved. Now he didn't have anything. His life had crumbled around him and he didn't know how to climb out of the wreckage. He felt like he was suffocating. And to top it all off he was now having a complete breakdown in front of a man who had left him four years ago and completely uprooted his life. A man who had in the past, been the one to make him feel like his life had come crumbling down. Suddenly he was angry. He was livid. "You left me!" He shouted, jumping up from the table. Harry's eyes went wide as he looked up at Niall who was now pacing the kitchen. He looked completely caught off guard but Niall didn't care. He was angry, he was hurt, and he was tired of Harry being in his life without so much as a "sorry." Not once had he aknowledged the fact he had left Niall and Niall was done. He was tired of it. Tired of Harry constantly being around like nothing had happened. Like they'd never been in love or meant anything at all to one another. 

"Niall-"

"No, you don't get to talk. Not yet. First you need to listen." 

Harry shut his mouth, shock still etched into his features. Niall went on. "You left me Harry, out of the blue. You just came over one day without any warning at all and told me we were done. And then you left! You left the fucking country without even saying goodbye. Do you know what it was like to wake up and realize you weren't there? To realize you would never be there again? Do you know what that was like?"

"Niall-"

"It was fucking awful! I felt like I was dying, I felt like you'd taken my livelihood with you. I felt like I'd never be the same again. Like I was living with a gaping hole in my life. It took me years to get over it, Harry. _Years!_ I was so in love with you. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you, we used to discuss our future, we used to discuss having children together! And then you just left. You left and I didn't hear from you for four fucking years and then you come back into my life like nothing happened. You left me like I meant nothing to you and you came back like I never mattered. How could you do that to me, Harry? How could you treat me like I never mattered?"

Niall stopped pacing then and turned his back towards Harry, crossed his arms around his middle and bit down on his lower lip. He willed himself not to cry but stubborn tears were making their way past his lower lids, trailing down his cheeks. This wasn't how he had wanted this conversation to go. He mostly hadn't wanted to have this conversation at all, but had figured it might come up eventually. He had hoped he could keep his cool and have a calm conversation, but instead he had screamed a lot and now he was crying. Great. Everything was going really fucking great for him. He really needed to look into ways to temporarily stop existing. 

So caught up in his own thoughts, Niall hadn't noticed Harry leave his seat until he felt a hand close gently around his bicep. Niall shook his hand off and took a step forward, "Don't." 

Harry didn't try to touch him again, but Niall could feel him close the distance between them. When he spoke he could feel his breath on the side of his neck. "Nothing's ever mattered to me more than you, and I am so sorry for screwing up so badly and making you feel otherwise." 

Niall laughed dryly and wiped at his eyes, "That's not enough, Harry."

"I know. I'm not expecting you to forgive me, not now... not ever. But I don't want you thinking you didn't mean anything to me, or that you don't mean anything to me. Or that I never loved you. Because Niall, you meant the world to me and I loved you more than I have ever loved anyone. Maybe more than I will ever love anyone. I was a coward and I knew I couldn't handle seeing your face when I walked out the door so I left while you were asleep. And then when I was gone I didn't call because I was afraid that the second I heard your voice I would have come running back to you. I needed time to be on my own, I felt trapped and I thought I needed to experience life, I felt like I might have been missing out on something. But once I was gone, do you know what I felt? I felt like I was missing out on you. I'm glad I traveled, it was an amazing experience and I really got a chance to know myself while I was away, without any outside influence. I needed that. But I should have figured out a way to do that without hurting you like I did. You didn't deserve that, and I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for not talking to you, I'm sorry for breaking up with you like I did, I'm sorry for not staying that night, and I'm sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. I'm sorry for not calling or apologizing and I'm sorry for acting like nothing happened between us when I came back. And most of all, I'm sorry for ever making you feel like you didn't matter. You should never feel like that, you deserve so much more than that." 

This time when Harry touched Niall's arm, he didn't flinch away. He didn't forgive Harry, not yet. But he thought maybe he could. He knew Harry well enough to know he was being completely open and honest with him and he appreciated that. Thought maybe if things went right, he could eventually be comfortable being friends with Harry. Because deep down he knew they'd always be a part of each other's lives, it seemed inevitable at this point. And despite everything that had happened, he still cared about Harry, and he thought he could come to accept the fact Harry really did care about him too. So he turned around and let Harry wrap his arms around his shoulders, tentatively wrapping his own arms around Harry's waist. "One day I'll be able to accept your apology, until then, just know I appreciate it."

They pulled out of their embrace and Harry swiped his thumbs under Niall's eyes, collecting leftover tears. "That's better than I could have hoped for." He smiled a little and stepped back. "Go take a shower, I'll clean up here and then we're going to go to your old apartment and pick up some of your stuff." 

"Really?" Niall asked. As much as he never wanted to step foot in the apartment he had shared with Tyler again, he really wanted to get his clothes and belongings. He missed his guitar and wearing his own clothes. 

"Yeah, if you want."

"Okay," he said, and he headed into Liam and Zayn's room to grab something to wear, and then into the bathroom to take a much needed shower. Before he got under the spray of water, he sent short text to Liam. He was still feeling a little off balance about the whole day. A mixture of his hangover, yelling at Harry, and Harry's apology. 

N: I yelled at Harry.

He spent a while in the shower letting the hot water run over his body. He needed time to let his mind mull over everything that was happening. Tyler had been cheating on him their whole relationship, he wasn't getting married anymore, he had family to inform and plans to cancel, he needed to find a new apartment, he had to get his belongings from Tyler's, he had yelled at Harry and they had finally had an honest conversation about their break-up. Harry had apologized and Niall felt well on his way to forgiving him. Harry had punch Tyler. His life was fucked up and weird, but at least he had his friends. And his job, he loved his job. When he felt less like throwing up from his hangover and stress, and more like trying to pick up the fallen pieces of his life, he got out of the shower and checked his phone.

L: Wat?  
L: Y did u yell at Harry?  
L: R U okay?  
L: ????

N: I'm ok.  
N: I yelled at him about leaving, got some things off my chest.  
N: He apologized, now he's going to take me to get some things from Tyler's.

L: I can take u latr

N: I want to go while Tyler's at work  
N: I'll be ok

L: U sure?

N: Yeah. Love u Li

L: Luv u tooooo

Niall set h is phone down and got dressed. He ran a comb through his hair before taking a minute to dry it. When he finished, he went back out to the living room and found Harry on the sofa going through his phone.

"Ready?" Harry asked, standing up.

"I guess," Niall shrugged, still not exactly feeling up to going back to the apartment. 

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I know, but I do want to. It's just... hard." He shook his head. "C'mon, let's go." They walked to the apartment, and planned on taking a cab back to Liam and Zayn's. Niall felt anxious the whole way, he didn't want to go in, he was nervous Tyler would be there for some reason, and he didn't feel like seeing him. When they got to the door Niall paused and Harry stood by silently. "Should I knock?" Niall asked, prolonging the inevitable. 

"Do you think Tyler's home?" 

"I don't know, he should be at work. But for all I know he's in there fucking some guy, not really something I wanna see." Harry leaned over him and knocked on the door, when there was no answer he took the key Niall had been holding loosely in his hand and unlocked the door, pushing it open. 

Harry walked in ahead of him and turned around. "Doesn't look like anyone's here." 

Niall followed him and looked around. The apartment looked mostly the same as before he had left. Except now there were two pairs of shoes in the entry way that Niall knew didn't belong to himself or Tyler and there was a jacket hanging up he recognized as Jason's. "Let's get this over with," Niall said, forcing his gaze away from Jason's jacket. Niall led the way into the bedroom and stopped short, causing Harry to run into him, when he caught sight of the bed. The bed he shared with Tyler was a king sized bed. Tyler had always been an incredibly sound sleeper, barely moved once he fell asleep. Whenever he slept in the bed alone, he usually left most of it untouched. But now the bed was a complete disaster, the comforter was on the floor, the sheets were twisted and there were clothes thrown haphazardly on the floor, a pair of boxers hanging off a lampshade. 

He stood frozen to the spot until Harry patted his hip. "Let's get your stuff," he said gently. 

Niall nodded and walked reluctantly into the bedroom. He grabbed his travel bags from the closet and began stuffing his clothes into them. He didn't bother folding them, he just shoved them in as quickly as possible before clearing his stuff out of the dressers and then heading into the bathroom to gather his toiletries. His toothbrush wasn't there anymore, in it's place stood an electric toothbrush he'd never seen before along with hair product he didn't recognize that was strewn out across the sink. He really really couldn't believe this. Less than a week ago Tyler had wanted to stay in the relationship, now it was like he had replaced him without a second thought. He couldn't help thinking this is what Tyler had wanted all along, to end up with Jason. And maybe it was, at least it seemed like it. He looked at Harry who was watching him from the doorway, he'd been nothing more than a quiet, supportive presence since they'd entered the apartment. Hadn't said anything negative about Tyler, hadn't commented on the fact someone had clearly, recently had sex in the bedroom. He had just stood back and let Niall do what he had to do. "Neither of those are mine," Niall commented, gesturing towards the two toothbrushes. "He replaced me, just like that. Didn't even take him a week. He proposed to me, _he planned a wedding with me,_ this is so fucked up." 

"It is. _Really_ fucked up." Harry agreed. He slid into the bathroom past Niall, opened the lid of the toilet, put the seat up, slid his basketball shorts down, pulled his dick out and started peeing.

"Oh my god, _Harry!_ " Niall groaned, and he could feel a blush start to rise in his cheeks. He inwardly cursed his pale complexion. 

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Nothing you haven't seen before." When he was finished he tucked himself back in, pulled up the shorts he was wearing, and grabbed the electric toothbrush off the sink. "This Tyler's, or Jason's?" 

"Jason's. But-" Before Niall could finish his protest, Harry dipped the toothbrush into the toilet. A laugh bubbled up Niall's throat and Harry grinned at him. "Harry! That's-" he attempted to half-halfheartedly reason before he was cut off. 

"Fucked up?" He put Jason's toothbrush back down, picked Tyler's up and held it out to Niall. "Your turn." 

"I can't... this isn't... it's not nice."

"No, and neither is cheating. Plus," he poked Niall in the chest with the toothbrush. "I know you think it's funny, you're still smiling."

Niall rolled his eyes and took the toothbrush. "I can't believe I'm doing this" he said, as he stuck the toothbrush, bristle end down, into the toilet. He swirled it around a little and then put it back in it's spot on the sink. "This is so gross," he laughed as he washed his hands. He looked at Harry, "you're gross."

Harry clutched his chest in mock offense, "Am not! Besides, five years ago you would have been the one suggesting we piss on their toothbrushes." And, well, Harry wasn't wrong. Niall used to be quite mischievous, still was sometimes. 

"You're right," Niall bit his lip to hide his grin, "and that was kinda satisfying." Harry smiled at him and they left the bathroom. Niall took a few things he wanted from the kitchen and then they left, Harry carrying Niall's bags and Niall carrying his guitar. They took a cab back to Liam and Zayn's and the whole way, Niall couldn't help but think he was glad it had been Harry who had went with him to get his things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Harry's singing is It Had to be You by Motion City Soundtrack


	13. Chapter 13

Liam's birthday passed without much excitement. They went out as a group and Harry's present to Liam had been letting Niall crash on his sofa for the weekend. Which was more of a gift to Zayn who had come to Harry begging, saying he was tired of being quiet and Harry had mostly said yes to get him to stop talking, he didn't need details. That same weekend, Niall looked at apartments in Harry's complex which were smaller and cheaper than the one Niall had shared with Tyler, and he ended up moving into a single bedroom two floors up from Harry. Things between Harry and Niall were easier now since their conversation in Liam and Zayn's kitchen. Harry wouldn't say they were friends, exactly, but he no longer felt tense around Niall, and he also felt much less awkward. He thought Niall had experienced a similar shift between them because he was now much less likely to flat out ignore Harry's existence and he even started conversations with him sometimes. 

Before he knew it, it was Niall's birthday and he had somehow let Liam convince him to ride along with him to pick up Niall's nephew Theo from his brother Greg. Harry had actually been at the hospital with Niall and his family the day Theo was born, and Theo had been about a year old when Harry left. Now he was a five year old kid with bright blue eyes and chubby cheeks that Niall absolutely adored. Which is why Liam had devised a plan to surprise Niall with a visit from Theo for his birthday. Niall hadn't wanted a party and had only reluctantly agreed to dinner which Harry and Liam were planning on making later. Not really knowing if getting a present for him would have been appropriate, Harry had instead opted to make the cake. In fact, he had just finished making it when Liam had called him in a panic. Zayn had been called into work last minute to take care of some sort of emergency, and Liam, convinced he was no good with kids, demanded Harry go with him to pick up Theo. He had tried telling Liam it wasn't a good idea, but Liam wouldn't take no for an answer.

So that was how Harry found himself standing next to Liam on Greg Horan's doorstep waiting nervously for someone to answer the door. Harry wasn't sure what Niall had told his family about him leaving, or coming back, but he thought it was safe to assume he was no longer in the Horan family's good graces. Harry was tugging nervously at the soft bracelet around his wrist, and twisting at the ring he had on his thumb. Liam glanced at him "It's gonna be fine Harry, it's not like he's gonna punch you in front of his five year old." Harry was about to respond, tell Liam he wasn't so sure, that Greg had always been the more agressive of the Horan brothers, when the door swung open. 

Greg greeted Liam and then turned to Harry, "Niall mentioned you were back," he said, face carefully blank.

"Oh, yeah." Harry replied, uncertain of what to say. "Hey."

"How've you been?" Harry still couldn't decipher how Greg was feeling towards him, his blank expression made him feel even more nervous. 

"Alright, glad to be back." he answered truthfully. 

Just then, Harry heard the sound of little footsteps running towards the front door. "Leeee-yuuuuuuum!" Theo yelled, crashing into the back of Greg's legs. Greg placed a hand on top of his son's head. 

Liam smiled down at him, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Hey buddy! You ready to go see Uncle Niall?"

"Yes!" Theo exclaimed, pumping a little fist into the air, toothy grin spread across his face. He eyed Harry then, expression curious. "You're not Zayn."

"Nope," Harry said. He knelt down to Theo's level and held out his hand. "I'm Harry, I'm a friend of your uncle's."

Theo slipped his little hand into Harry's and they shook. "I'm Theo, I'm five."

"You're five? Wow! That's a pretty cool." 

He nodded seriously. "It is." 

"Okay Theo, why don't you go get the bag mommy packed you from your room?" Greg suggested. Harry straightened up as Theo went bounding out of the room. "Walk!" Greg called after him, and then he turned his attention back to Harry and Liam. "Everything he needs is in his bag, no special instructions Niall doesn't already know about."

"Sounds good," Liam said, and then Theo was back dragging a Ninja Turtle duffel bag behind him. "Ready to go, bud?"

"Ready!" Theo answered, and Greg bent down to hug him. 

"You be good for Uncle Niall, okay? Don't give him any trouble on his birthday."

"Daddy, I'll be good." He sighed exasperatedly. "Promise."

"Okay. I'll see you Sunday evening, call me if you need anything."

Liam, Harry, and Theo bid Greg goodbye and then they headed out to Liam's car. Something Harry had come to realize was only used on occasions when one of them had to leave the city, shared between their group of friends as was needed. Liam opened the back door for Theo and he climbed in, buckling his own seat belt. Liam tugged on the strap checking to make sure it was secure and then got into the driver's seat while Harry got into the passenger seat.

"Hey Harry?" Theo asked.

"Yeah?"

"What's your favorite color?"

"I like blue, what's yours?" 

"Purple! What's your favorite animal?"

"Hmmm, I think dolphins."

"Mine's sharks!"

"Yeah? Sharks are pretty cool too." 

"Do you like Ninja Turtles?" 

"You know, I don't know a lot about the Ninja Turtles. Why don't you tell me about them?"

And the rest of the car ride went along just like that. Theo asked Harry questions, and Harry answered before reciprocating. If Harry didn't know a lot about the topic, Theo was happy to explain. Every once in a while Liam would add in his own opinion, and the forty five minute car ride back to Harry and Niall's apartment complex seemed to fly by. 

"Are we here?" Theo asked as Liam parked the car. 

"We are," Liam answered. "Are you ready to surprise your Uncle Niall?" 

"Yes! I love Uncle Niall." 

Liam smiled. "And he loves you, he's gonna be so happy to see you!" He and Harry got out of the car then, and Liam opened the back door. 

Theo slid out of his seat and held his hand out to Harry. "Let's go!" Harry took Theo's hand, Liam slung the Ninja Turtle bag over his shoulder, and the three of them headed up to Niall's apartment. When they got to his door, Liam rang the door bell and they waited. It was Louis who answered the door, Theo's eyes lit up at the sight of him, but he stayed quite as requested. Liam had told him he had to stay quite until they saw Niall in order to pull off the surprise. 

"Is that Harry?" Niall called from the kitchen, "Tell him I'm hungry." Harry laughed and Theo covered his mouth to stifle a giggle. The second Niall came around the corner, Theo dropped Harry's hand and ran into Niall's arms. 

"Surprise!" Theo shouted, Niall let out a laugh, grin splitting his face. 

"Little man! What are you doing here?" He lifted Theo up and spun him around, causing him to giggle. Harry kind of felt like his heart was melting. 

"I'm here for you birthday, happy birthday Uncle Niall!" 

"Thank you! I see Liam has your Ninja Turtle bag, are you spending the night?" Niall was holding Theo on his hip now, he was about half Niall's size and Harry had the feeling he probably wouldn't let just anyone hold him like that. Kids his age tended to want to be independent, but Theo seemed content in Niall's arms. 

"I'm spending two nights!" 

"Two nights? No Way! This is the best birthday ever." 

"Daddy says I'm not allowed to cause you any trouble on your birthday." 

"Ahh, you wouldn't cause me any trouble. Would you little man?"

"No. Daddy worries too much." 

"I agree." Niall said, setting Theo back down. "And I'm still hungry." He looked at Harry, "Are you gonna cook for me, or what?" His blue eyes were sparkling, he looked happier than Harry had seen him in a while. It made Harry feel warm and fond, and a lot like he wanted to reach out and touch him. He looked away.

"Yeah, I'm making homemade pizza. I just have to grab the ingredients from my apartment."

"I'll help." Liam offered, and the two of them headed down the two floors to Harry's apartment. "Sooo" Liam said, looking at Harry expectantly. He wasn't exactly sure where this conversation was going, but he _was_ sure he wasn't going to like it. Liam had that judge-y look on his face that meant he was about to pick apart Harry's life.

"Soooo?"

"You and Niall."

"Uh, what?"

"You like him." 

"I mean, we're friends. Yeah." Harry shrugged uncomfortably, they were in his apartment now and he was throwing pizza ingredients into a plastic bag. He had been gone four years, why were all of his friends still so intune with his feelings? 

"You should see they way you look at him."

"So I've heard." 

"Harry..."

"Liam, I'm not like, gonna try anything with him. Im just happy to be in his life again, that's... That's all I want. I'm happy to be in all your lives again."

"Yeah, but you're not in love with all of us."

"I'm not in love with Niall."

"You are, and that's okay."

Harry raised his eyebrows, surprised. He was under the impression Liam still sorta hated the fact Harry was back in Niall's life. "It is?" 

Liam took the bag of pizza ingredients Harry was holding out to him, and Harry picked up the cake he had made earlier. "Yes. As long as you don't plan on running out on him again, I think it is." 

"I wouldn't."

"I know." If his hands weren't full of cake he would have hugged Liam, it felt good to hear the confidence in his voice. It felt good that someone trusted him to stick around. 

When they got back to Niall's apartment, Theo insisted on helping make pizza. So Harry instructed him to do little things like pouring the flour into the crust mixture and sprinkling green peppers on top of the cheese. They made a little bit of a mess but no one seemed to care. Louis, Aidan, and Zayn who had shown up not long after Liam and Harry had gotten back with the food were playing Fifa, and Liam, Harry, and Theo were cooking while Niall sat on the counter and watched. After they put the pizzas in the oven, Harry lifted Theo up on the counter to sit next to Niall, and Liam and Harry got to work cleaning up. "Harry's the coolest," Theo was telling Niall who was brushing flour from his nephew's nose. 

"Ya think so?" Niall asked, glancing up at Harry. They made eye contact and Harry looked away. 

"Yes! He likes dolphins and he thinks sharks are cool and he can make pizza. Plus his favorite color is... Uh..." 

"Blue." Niall supplied, and Theo nodded vigorously. Harry's heart rate quickened. Niall remembered his favorite color, it was stupid but it made him feel almost giddy. 

"Right! 

"Well when you put it that way, he _does_ sound pretty cool." Niall agreed. "But not cooler than me, right?" Harry rolled his eyes and Niall kicked at his thigh. Harry was afraid if he interacted with Niall any further he was going to have a heart attack. 

"Nah," Theo said, "Not cooler than you. Cooler than Liam though, his favorite animals are dogs." 

"Hey!" Liam exclaimed indignantly, and they all laughed. After the pizza was done they spent the evening eating and watching kid appropriate movies while playing board games. They stopped to sing Happy Birthday to Niall and eat cake, and not long after Theo fell asleep. Liam offered to carry Theo to Niall's bedroom and Harry noted that Liam was much better with kids than he thought. He watched Zayn's face go soft as Liam carefully lifted Theo into his arms, and thought they'd make excellent parents some day. Louis and Aidan took their leave after hugging Niall bye and Harry gathered up plates and carried them into the kitchen. He startled when Niall started talking behind him. 

"You made my favorite cake."

"I know, it's your birthday." 

"You remebered."

Harry turned around and looked at Niall. He was studying Harry's face leaning against the doorway casually, arms crossed loosely across his chest. "Of course." Harry said. 

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Zayn came up behind Niall and wrapped his arms around his waist. "We're gonna go." Niall turned in Zayn's embrace to hug him properly. 

"Did you have a good birthday, Nialler?" Liam asked from behind Zayn. Niall stepped back from Zayn and threw his arms around Liam's neck. 

"Better than I expected thanks to you! Thanks for bringing Theo." 

"Welcome. I just want to see you happy." 

"Love you, Liam."

"Love you too Nialler."

The three of them made their way to the apartment door and Harry followed behind. Zayn and Liam finished saying their goodbyes and left, and Harry bent down to pull on his shoes. He felt a little weird about being the last one left. He straightened up and looked at Niall. 

"I'm glad you had a good birthday," he said. 

"Me too. Thanks for coming and making the food."

"Thanks for having me, I appreciate it." 

Niall bit his bottom lip and considered Harry for a second before surging forward and wrapping his arms around Harry's neck. 

Not really sure how to react, Harry wrapped his arms around Niall's waist, tucking his chin over Niall's shoulder. "Happy birthday, Niall," Harry murmured. They held on for a moment longer before they pulled apart and Harry backed out of Niall's apartment, pulling the door shut behind him. 

*************************************

Harry was having a really bad Saturday, like, _really_ bad. He had woken up that morning with a headache, sore throat and the sniffles. After dragging himself out of bed to go to the store to buy some canned soup, too exhausted to make it from scratch, he got to the store only to realize he had left his wallet at home. So he had had to go back home for his wallet, walk all the way back to the store for the soup, and then back home. By the time he got home he felt too tired to do anything other than lay down, so he went to bed and fell asleep for a few hours. When he finally woke up again it was dark outside and he was absolutely starving. He got up to get started heating the soup, but when he was opening it, his hand slipped and he sliced the space between his finger and thumb with the lid of the aluminum can. It sent a sharp, splitting pain through his hand and he cried out. "Ouch! Ouch ouch ouch." 

He looked down at his hand and saw deep red blood gushing out of it. Oh no, oh no. This was not what he wanted. He was sick, he was tired, and he was starving. He didn't have time for a painful, gaping hand wound that had tears gathering in his eyes. He just wanted to eat and sleep, not deal with the blood that was steadily flowing out between his thumb and finger. Holding his bloody right hand still, he slid his phone out of the pocket of his sweats and scrolled through his contacts until he got to Liam's number. 

"Hey Harry, what's up?"  
"Hey, so. I kinda cut my hand on a can and I think maybe I need stitches? Could you maybe drive me to the hospital?"  
"What? Are you okay?"  
"I think so, there's just kind of a lot blood."  
"Okay. Okay, yeah. I'll be right there."

After he hung up with Liam, he grabbed a towel and held it to his hand. The second he put pressure on it his hand throbbed and he started feeling a little light-headed. He was about to sit down when his doorbell buzzed. Was Liam here already? He couldn't be. He had just hung up the phone with him, right? He made his way to the door and opened it up. Standing in front of him was Niall, biting at the nail of his left thumb. "Are you okay?" He asked, looking over Harry the second he had opened the door. Harry blinked and Niall crowded into his space, Harry let go of the door and Niall shut it behind them. "Liam called, he said you cut your hand and that he was on his way to take you to the hospital. Are you okay?" He repeated.

"I'm starving." Harry blurted out and Niall looked at him in quizzical amusement. 

"Okay..." 

"I feel like shit so I haven't eaten all day and I was trying to eat soup because I'm starving but then this happened." He gestured down to the towel that was wrapped around his hand, dots of red starting to show through. Niall took hold of Harry's right arm and gently pulled the towel back, he winced when he saw the damage. 

"That looks really bad," he commented, carefully wrapping the towel back around Harry's hand. 

"Thanks," Harry said sarcastically. "I need to sit down." 

"You're pale."

"I'm sick." 

"And grumpy." 

"I'm hungry and bleeding profusely." 

"You're probably gonna die." Niall dead panned.

Harry snorted, "don't make me laugh, my throat hurts."

Niall had picked up an orange from the fruit bowl Harry kept in his kitchen and was making quick work of peeling it. When he was finished he held a section out to Harry. He started to take it from him using his uninjured left hand but Niall pulled his hand back. Harry pouted. He wasn't above pouting to get his way, he was hungry. His stomach was growling, his hand hurt and his headache was getting worse. He wanted that orange. 

"You're bloody," Niall said, and he was. Bloodier than he had realized, even his left hand had blood on it where he had been holding the towel on his right. 

"I'm hungry," he said, continuing to pout. The citrus smell was starting to circulate the kitchen and it was making his hunger worse. His stomach growled audibly to prove his point. 

Niall bit his lip. "Open up." 

"Niall..."

"Do you want to eat, or not?" He had one eyebrow quirked up in challenge. 

"Fine," he grumbled. And maybe he was a little grumpy. But he had every right to be, he was sick and bleeding. Harry opened his mouth and Niall popped an orange slice in. 

That was how Liam and Zayn found them not five minutes later when they came bursting through the apartment door that Niall had neglected to lock. Both of them stopped and looked from Niall to Harry, Niall with an orange slice in hand halfway to Harry's mouth. 

"Well, this is weird." Zayn said.

"He's hungry," Niall shrugged and placed the last of the orange slices on Harry's tongue. 

"I'm bloody." Harry added in explanation, but Liam and Zayn were still looking between the two of them suspiciously. 

"Ooookay. So are you ready to go to the hospital, or..."

"Yes!" Harry attempted to hop up off the chair he had been sitting in but once he was on his feet he started to sway. Niall put an arm out to steady him and Harry leaned into him. And he probably, maybe shouldn't have because Liam and Zayn were looking at them even more strangely now, but Harry was sick and lightheaded and bleeding and he really wanted this night to be over with. He wanted to crawl into bed and wake up tomorrow without a cold, hand stitched closed and feeling better. He wanted this bad day to be over.

Before they left, Niall grabbed the last orange out of the fruit bowl. Then he led Harry out to Liam's car, steady hand resting on his lower back the whole way there. Once they got to the car, Niall slid into the backseat next to him, on the way to the hospital Harry watched as he peeled the orange and held a slice up for him, Harry opened his mouth and accepted it. If he hadn't felt so bad, if his head wasn't pounding and his throat wasn't aching and his hand wasn't throbbing he probably would have opened the door and rolled out of the moving car. He didn't know how to handle this. Didn't know what to think of Niall's knee resting against his thigh or the careful way he was sliding orange slices into his mouth. Didn't know what to think of the way Niall reached across him to open the car door when they parked or the fact that he had followed Harry out of the car, sliding across the backseat, forgoing his own door. Didn't know what to think when he immediately wrapped an arm around Harry's waist to lead him into the hospital. By the time he checked in, he wasn't sure if he was lightheaded because he was sick, lightheaded from his hand, or lightheaded because of Niall. 

There was only a bit of awkwardness when the nurse told them only one person could go back to the room with Harry. Harry froze and he felt Niall's fingers tighten on his shirt, arm still firmly around his waist. "We'll wait out here," Zayn said, Liam gave him a pat on the shoulder and the two of them went to sit in the waiting room. When they got back to the room, Niall helped Harry up onto the bed and sat in the chair next to him while the nurse took his vitals. 

"The doctor will be in shortly," he said pleasantly, and he left shutting the door behind him. 

Harry glanced over at Niall who was looking at the floor, biting his thumb nail. He must have felt Harry looking because he looked up at him and dropped his hand back into his lap. "Doing alright?" He asked

Harry shrugged, "Kinda nervous, I don't want it to hurt."

"You'll be okay."

They fell quiet then and Niall took out his phone and started tapping on it. After a few seconds it vibrated, Niall read the message and he frowned. "Louis' judging us and he's not even here," he said. 

"Judging us?" Harry wasn't sure what was going on but he was fairly certain he knew what direction this was headed.

A slight blush krept up into Niall's cheeks and for the first time since Harry had been back, he wanted to kiss him. He dismissed the thought as soon as it crossed his mind and forced himself to pay attention to what Niall was saying rather than how good he looked with color in his face. "He wants to know why I'm so overprotective and you're so clingy." 

"Your best friend is a nuisance," Harry said, certain it had been Liam who told Louis what was happening at the hospital. 

"So is yours," Niall answered, furrowing his brows at his phone screen. Harry couldn't argue, Louis _was_ a nuisance. 

The doctor came in then and Niall put his phone away. Harry felt a nervous swooping in his stomach and felt the sudden urge to reach out to Niall. He didn't though, instead opting to dig the fingernails of his left hand into his palm. 

"Hi Harry, I'm doctor Sabo. I'm going to be taking care of your hand today, can I see it?" Harry unwrapped the towel from around his hand and held it out to her. She took his left hand in both of hers which were covered in rubber gloves and studied it closely. "You're definitely going to need a few stitches," she said finally, after a bit of prodding that had Harry wincing. "But first we're going to have to clean it out." She explained the procedure and showed him the instrument she'd be using and he kinda felt like throwing up a little bit. He really really didn't want to do this. "Sometimes we give people a shot to numb the pain but most of the time the shot ends up being more painful than cleaning it out or stitching it up, so it's up to you." 

"Umm, I guess I'll do it without the shot," he decided. He hated shots anyways, he had tons of tattoos but couldn't handle shots. 

"Why don't we get your left hand cleaned off first, in case you want to hold on to something, or someone," she said gesturing at Niall who was watching Harry's face. Harry got the feeling he was checking to see if he was in any pain, he had reacted almost as quickly as Harry had when the doctor had been prodding at his cut. She led Harry over to the sink and helped him wash off his left hand with soap and water and then helped him back onto the bed. Niall held his hand out to him and Harry took it instantly. He was maybe freaking out a little. Cleaning it out was the worst part, it hurt the second she started and Harry looked away from his hand towards Niall. 

"Hey," Niall said, looking up at Harry from his spot in the chair. 

"Hi," Harry replied, biting down on his bottom lip to keep from crying out. 

"You okay?"

"No." Harry could feel his eyes start to water, the last thing he needed was to start crying. Niall stood up and Harry leaned his forehead against his shoulder. 

"Louis would love this." Harry laughed and Niall gave his hand a little squeeze.

It was easier after that. The stitches didn't hurt very much, and Niall held his hand until they left the room. When they got back to the waiting room, they found Zayn dozing off on Liam's shoulder. Liam woke him up gently and Zayn blinked sleepily up at them. "You good, Haz?" He asked around a yawn. 

"Yeah, I'm good." He held his hand out and Liam took it, examining the stitches. There were seven in total. 

"Did it hurt?"

"Not the stitches, cleaning it out did though." Zayn wrinkled his nose in sympathy and Harry took his hand back. "M'gonna fall asleep standing up," he said. Liam stood up and pulled Zayn to his feet, the four of them walked out to Liam's car and got in. The car ride back to Harry and Niall's apartment complex was mostly quiet, it was nearly two in the morning and they were all well beyond tired. 

Once he brought the car to a stop, Liam turned in his seat to look back at Niall and Harry. "You guys got it from here, or do you want us to go up with you?"

"We got it," Niall answered, and Harry nodded. 

"Thanks for driving me Liam," Harry said, reaching forward with his good hand and giving his shoulder a squeeze. 

"Anytime, Haz. You get some sleep and then text us tomorrow. We'll hang out if you're feeling up to it." 

"Okay, bye guys. Drive safe."

Harry climbed out of the car while Niall was saying his goodbyes and then the two of them made their way up to Harry's apartment. They stopped in the hallway in front of Harry's door and Niall held his hand out, "Give me your phone." 

Too tired to protest or ask questions, Harry handed Niall his phone and watched as he added what Harry assumed was his own number into his contacts. Then he sent himself a text from Harry's phone and handed it back. "If you need anything, call me. Okay?"

"Okay," he agreed a little dazedly. He needed to sleep desperately before the warmth he was feeling towards Niall took over his whole body and suffocated him. "And thank you for going with me tonight, and taking care of me. You didn't have to do that."

Niall shrugged a little, "It's okay, I was worried, wanted to make sure you were okay." He smiled and pulled Harry into a hug. Harry went willingly and briefly let himself relax into Niall's embrace. "Goodnight, Harry." 

"Night." They broke apart and went their seperate ways, Harry into his apartment and Niall towards the stairs. Harry only took the time to change before he fell into his bed. Had he not been so completely exhausted, he may have stayed awake overthinking the entire evening, but instead he fell right to sleep feeling oddly content.


	14. Chapter 14

Niall was going through the motions. He woke up every morning, he got ready for work, he stopped by The Daily Bean for his coffee, he made it through work, he went home and more often than not he went straight to sleep. He still went out to Thirsty with the others and met up with them on Sundays, but only sometimes. He just didn't feel like it, didn't feel like anything. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to go out with the others and awkwardly stand around while Liam and Zayn spent all their time gazing fondly into one another's eyes, and Louis and Aidan made out through half their conversations? Was he supposed to sit back next to his ex-boyfriend and watch their friends be happy couples while he still constantly felt the pain that went along with finding out his ex-fiance had been cheating on him their whole relationship? Was he supposed to be okay with that? Was he supposed to be happy? Was he supposed to want to feel like seeking comfort in the form of holding Harry's hand or folding in on himself and letting Harry hold him? Why was that something he wanted? Why was it his first instinct whenever they were out and Niall started feeling like he couldn't handle himself anymore? Was it because it had once been something that had been so natural between them? Was it some sort of weird leftover feelings, or was it more? It shouldn't be more, it _couldn't_ be more. But it felt like more.

It felt like more every time Niall made Harry laugh and his stomach flipped, it felt like more when Harry's shirt rode up to reveal tattoos Niall had yet to explore and he wanted to reach out and touch. It felt like more when Liam had called him and told him he was taking Harry to the hospital and he had rushed down two flights of stairs to make sure he was okay. It felt like more when Harry had buried his face in his shoulder while the doctor was taking care of his hand and Niall's heart rate sped up. And every time he sat down to work on a new song and he wrote about green eyes and curls when he should have been writing about loss and sadness, it felt like more. It _was_ more. Niall couldn't handle that right now, it wasn't what he needed. 

It was a Thursday and he had decided not to go out. He was just about ready to start an as of yet undecided Netflix TV show marathon when his doorbell buzzed. As soon as he opened the door, Louis pushed his way in, surprisingly alone. "Hello Niall," Louis said, taking in the sweatpants and baggy t-shirt he was wearing. "Staying in, I see."

"Umm, yes?" 

"Great, then I'll stay in with you." He walked into the apartment and sprawled out across the sofa.

"Louis, you don't have to stay in with me." In fact, Niall would prefer he didn't. Louis would want to talk about Niall's feelings, he'd want to know why he wasn't going out and he'd probably suggest they do something Niall had no interest in doing. Niall wasn't feeling up for any of those things.

"Oh, but I think I do." He sat up and patted the spot on the sofa next to him, "Come sit, we need to have a chat."

Niall rolled his eyes and sighed, but he sat down next to Louis anyways. There was no way he would get Louis to leave until Louis got what he wanted, he figured it would be easiest to comply. "Okay, what are we chatting about then?"

"About you and your new found aversion to leaving your apartment."

"I leave my apartment every day!"

"Yes, to go to work and catch a glimpse of Harry. That doesn't count." 

"I'm not catching a glimpse of Harry, I'm getting my coffee."

"Free coffee from your dreamy ex-boyfriend."

"I'm telling Aidan you said that."

"He knows, we've been trying to devise a plan to get Harry to have a threesome." 

"Lou!"

"What? He's _dreamy_ And probably really good at sex. Is he good at sex?"

"I'm not answering that, you are not having a threesome with Harry, and I'm going to need you to leave my house immediately." 

Louis pouted, "Aww come on Nialler, you're no fun."

"Not when you're trying to fuck my ex-boyfriend." 

"Okay, okay, no need to get all grumpy. I'm not here to discuss my sex life anyways, I'm here to discuss yours."

"I don't have one."

"Exactly."

"Louis, no."

"Niall, yes."

Hooking up to soothe the pain was Louis' remedy for everything, he seemed convinced it was possible to fuck your problems away. Niall knew where this was headed.

"We're going out tomorrow, just me, you, and Zayn. And you're going to find a hot guy to hook up with and you're going to bring him back to your place or go back to his and you're going to start sleeping your way out of this funk." Niall thought he already was sleeping his way out of his funk. Literally sleeping. He liked it best that way. 

"You know I'm not much for hookups, Lou." He preferred relationships. He had done the whole sleeping around thing when Harry had left and it hadn't really done much for him, he preferred sex when he was in a relationship. It wasn't that he thought it was bad or wrong or something, it was cool if you were into it, but Niall always felt awkward and out of his element. He felt much more comfortable and confident when it was someone he knew and cared about. 

"I'm not asking you to go home with a different man every night, I'm just saying you should try getting some every once in a while. You might like it."

So the next night Niall went out with Zayn and Louis, he got himself a beer and went out onto the dance floor. It didn't take him long to find a man he found attractive enough to flirt with, he let himself get lost in it. Some suggestive phrases and a few well placed touches later Niall had sealed the deal and was leading the man, Constance, by the hand out of the bar. Louis winked at him on his way out and Niall shook his head grinning. It was stupid but it felt good. It felt good to have this random guy giving him attention, felt good to have him kissing up his neck and nibbling at his earlobe. He had been living in the end of his relationship with Tyler and this felt more like starting a new beginning on his own terms. He took Constance back to his apartment and let him fuck him into the mattress until Niall was coming all over his sheets and his own stomach and when he woke up the next morning Constance was gone and it didn't bother Niall one bit. He got out of bed and showered and started his day feeling better than he had in weeks. 

************************************************************

Halloween was on a Tuesday, they decided to stay in and watch movies. They were at Liam and Zayn's apartment, Harry was trying to convince everyone they should watch Halloweentown or Hocus Pocus, everyone else wanted to watch the original Halloween movie. "Come on guys, Halloweentown is a _classic_ ," he was saying.

Louis laughed. "Sure, if you're twelve. If you're scared you can sit over here with Aidan and I, right love?" They were on the floor leaning back against a pile of pillows cuddled up under a blanket. 

Aidan licked his lips and nodded. "Yeah, we'll protect you." 

Niall who was sitting on the opposite end of the sofa from Harry hoisted his legs up and rested his feet on Harry's thighs. Louis rolled his eyes and Niall glared at him, he wasn't letting Louis and Aidan seduce Harry, it just wasn't going to happen. Not even if he had to physically subdue someone. He would, he wasn't above sitting on someone until they gave up.

They decided to wait until they ate to start the movie, and when the pizza they had ordered got there they made their way into the kitchen. To Niall's displeasure, Louis and Aidan took seats on either side of Harry. Niall huffed and sat down next to Liam picking at his pizza.

"Wanna try my pizza?" Louis asked Harry, he had one hand on Harry's thigh and he was leaning into his side. 

"No thanks," Harry said, seemingly not bothered by Louis' close proximity. 

Aidan leaned over Harry, hand on his other thigh. "I'll try some." Louis held the slice out to him and Aidan leaned over further, Harry leaned back slightly. If Niall were in his position he would have been annoyed but Harry only looked slightly amused. They kissed over him then, and Harry blinked. Niall looked around but Zayn and Liam didn't seem to be paying attention, the two were laughing over something Liam was showing Zayn on his phone. 

Louis sat back in his chair, one arm resting on the back of Harry's, fingers brushing over his shoulder. Aidan was still leaning into him. "Louis bet me $10 that he's better at giving head than you. He's really good at it, but you've got the lips for it." He brought his hand up and slid his thumb across Harry's bottom lip. Niall forced himself to stay seated, launching himself over the table and attacking Aidan probably wasn't the best idea. He could feel his anger heating up his face. Zayn and Liam were paying attention now. Liam looked incredibly confused and Zayn looked like he was trying to hold in his laughter. Niall felt like he was watching the beginning of a bad porno. 

Harry's eyes went a little wide, "ummm"

"If you want, we can have a little contest. Aidan could be the judge-"

He was cut off then. 

The surprised, " _What?_ was Harry. 

"Not in the kitchen!" Came from Zayn, and Niall had simply blurted out "No." 

Of course it was Niall's response everyone seemed interested in. Nobody cared that Zayn was more interested in preserving his kitchen than the thought of three of his best friends blowing each other, or that Harry was confused by such a proposition. No, they were all looking at him. 

"What?" He asked defensively. 

"I don't remember asking you," Louis said, looking at him pointedly. 

"No, but I clearly remember telling you not to have sex with Harry." Niall wasn't mad at Louis, per say. Just kind of annoyed. Sure Harry was allowed to have sex with whomever he wanted, but typically exes were off limits to friends. It was only polite.

" _What?_ Harry said again, a little louder this time. 

"Niall's no fun," Louis replied. 

"I'm sort of stuck on the part where you're trying to have sex with me," Harry said. 

"Well, it wasn't supposed to happen like this, Aidan and I had a seduction plan. But since Niall is a fun ruin-er, we'll just have to ask you straight up. Do you wanna have a threesome with Aidan and I?"

"What the fuck?" Zayn said, he was laughing out loud now.

"No thanks?" Harry replied, looking utterly perplexed and a small part of Niall was satisfied that he looked a little uncomfortable. 

"Damnit, Styles!" Louis exclaimed. 

Aidan started laughing, "I win!" He yelled and now Niall was confused. 

"What's happening?" Liam asked, he had his eyebrows drawn down, looking back and forth between Aidan and Louis. 

"Well," Louis said, drawing out the last syllable. "I bet Aidan a blow job that I could make you agree to a threesome and he bet me a blow job that I'd only succeed in making Niall angry."

"I'm not angry," Niall interjected, but now he kinda _was_ angry. He didn't like that they had just exposed his weird feelings towards Harry and his sex life. Louis opened his mouth to argue but Harry pinched him."

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"For being a jerk." Harry shrugged and took a bite of his pizza. 

"You all are so weird," Zayn said shaking his head. 

Liam patted Niall's knee under the table in a comforting gesture and Niall shot him an appreciative smile. He was fine, really. But he also wanted to sprint home and sleep for a few days until he felt less awkward. By the time the pizza was gone, everyone seemed to have gotten past the incident except Niall who still felt kinda stupid about his feelings. While the others started filing out of the kitchen to watch the movie, Niall hung back a second to collect himself. Harry hung back too, collecting plates and putting them in the sink. When everyone else had left the kitchen he turned to Niall. 

"Stop over thinking."

"I'm sorry, my reaction was weird. I shouldn't have-"

Harry cut him off, "No, it wasn't. Had our positions been reversed I would have reacted the same way. So, stop over thinking." 

Niall nodded and bit at his thumb nail. "Movie's starting!" Liam called from the living room. 

Harry sighed, "they're gonna make me watch Halloween, aren't they?" 

He laughed a little, "it's just a movie, Haz." The nickname slipped out and as soon as it did he thought he was going to feel like he wanted to take it back, but he didn't. It felt natural. It hung there between them for a second and then Harry grinned briefly before biting down on his bottom lip to hide the brightness that was blooming on his face. Niall's heart fluttered dangerously. "C'mon" he said and they made their way into the living room and took their places on the sofa. 

They started out on opposite ends. Niall wrapped in a blanket and Harry clutching a pillow to his chest. Niall knew Harry hated horror movies, he had watched Paranormal Activity once and made Niall spend the night at his house for a week. And each night he'd make Niall check behind his shower curtain and in his closet in case anything was lurking there. Niall had found it endearing at the time and looking back he still thought it was endearing. Which was a problem. Harry jumped and bit his lip, gripping the pillow with white knuckles. Niall stretched out his foot and poked Harry's thigh with his toes, he looked over at Niall and in a split-second decision Niall held his blanket open. Without hesitation Harry cuddled up against Niall's side, burying his head in Niall's chest every time Michael Myers came on screen. The other four kept periodically looking over at them when they thought they weren't paying attention, Niall pretended not to notice. 

Harry was warm pressed against his side. The curly hair that tickled his chin had memories of previous cuddling flooding back to him. There had once been a time when it was normal for him to wake up with a mouth full of hair because Harry had stuck so close to him when they slept. When Harry was standing he was a mess of long awkward limbs, but he had always felt so small in Niall's embrace, tonight was no exception. This felt exactly how Niall had remembered. He had expected Harry to scoot away from him when the movie ended but he didn't, not immediately. "I can't believe you guys made me watch that when we could have been watching Halloweentown," he groaned into Niall's shirt, voice muffled slightly. 

"You're a giant man baby," Louis said, Harry flipped him off. 

It was pitch dark by the time they left. Usually Niall didn't really notice, but since it was Halloween and they had just finished watching a horror movie, he took note. It was chilly and there was a slight breeze causing crisp leaves to scrape along the ground. Niall reveled in the feeling, he loved the slightly eery atmosphere this time of year brought. Harry however, was not sharing Niall's sentiment. The minute they were out on the street, he had slid his hand into Niall's. 

A second later he seemed to realize what he was doing and started to pull his hand back, "Sorry, sorry, I just-"

Niall tugged Harry's hand back and intertwined their fingers. "It's okay, I don't mind." He didn't. He liked being close to Harry, maybe a little too much. He shouldn't be doing this but he couldn't help it.

Niall felt good when he was around Harry but he was afraid it was for the wrong reasons. It had only been a little over two months since he had left Tyler, he was still hurting from it and he didn't want to use Harry to fill some sort of emotional void. If at some point he and Harry were to end up together, he needed to be sure of it, he needed time. For now he'd stick to holding hands and the occasional hugging. There was no harm in hugging, right? 

When they got back to their apartment complex, Niall bypassed his own floor and escorted Harry to his door. Harry seemed grateful but he looked a little sheepish. "I know it's just a movie but that stuff really freaks me out." 

"I know, I'm not gonna make fun of you cause of it or anything."

"Not even if I ask you to come in and check the closets?"

Niall tried his best to keep the fondness out of the smile that crossed his face. "No, not even then." He followed Harry into his apartment and opened every closet, he even checked behind the shower curtain for good measure. "You're all safe." He said, heading towards the door. 

"Thanks Ni," he said, and he pulled Niall into a short hug. He wondered if Harry had felt this good when Niall had let his nickname slip earlier. Because Harry dropping the formality of his full name had his head spinning. He was feeling so giddy, in fact, that when he went down to his apartment he went down one too many floors and had to backtrack. One day he'd be able to act normal around Harry, he thought. He hoped. But today wasn't that day.

*************************************

Fridays had become Niall's unofficial hooking up days. After the first Friday Louis has forced him to go out, it sort of became a thing. It didn't make him feel better, exactly, but it sorta made him feel like he was moving towards something. What that was, he wasn't sure, but he went with it. It made things easier. 

He, Zayn and Louis were at a club. Zayn and Louis were in his peripheral doing some sort of goofy dance together, and Niall was dancing with some buff guy who was more buff than brains. But he had his shirt completely unbuttoned exposing his abs and he was letting Niall run his fingers over them so he wasn't complaining. He was just leaning in to ask buff guy if he wanted to head to Niall's when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He was going to ignore it but it vibrated four more times. Slightly annoyed he pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at the screen. He had five unread texts from Tyler. Great. Suddenly he didn't feel much like dancing anymore. He thanked buff guy for the dance and walked into the bathroom, shutting himself in the one stall it held. The music was still audible in the bathroom, but it was more of a distant pounding beat than anything. He could feel the anxiety in his body pounding along with it. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked his phone and read the messages. 

T: hey  
T: do you have a minute to talk?  
T: I miss you.  
T: nothing's the same without you.  
T: I still think about you everyday. 

Niall stood frozen in the dingy bathroom stall. His heart was pounding and every breath he took felt difficult. Tyler missed him. Tyler still thought about him everyday. He got caught up in the overwhelming feeling of wanting to run back into Tyler's arms, wanting things to be easy again, wanting his life to make sense. But then he remembered why he had left Tyler. He thought of the kiss he had seen and the fact Tyler had been cheating on him his whole relationship. He thought of going to get his stuff from their apartment and finding Jason's belongings there. He slid his phone back into his pocket and went to find Zayn and Louis.

"What happened to that guy you were dancing with?" Louis yelled over the music when Niall approached them. "I wanted to _lick_ him." 

Zayn wrinkled up his nose at Louis, "Gross."

"What, like you don't lick Liam? Please tell me you lick Liam and that perfect torso of his isn't going to waste. If you don't lick him, I'm going to start licking him." 

"Shut the fuck up, bro." Zayn said, punching Louis in the arm. "Your tongue won't be getting anywhere near my boyfriend." 

Louis winced and rubbed at his arm, "Man, you guys are _possessive_." 

"Tyler texted me." Niall interjected, successfully derailing the conversation. 

Louis grabbed his phone out of his hand and unlocked it, how he knew Niall's pass code was beyond him, but he wasn't surprised. "No fucking way, he's in no position to be pulling that 'i miss you' shit. Aidan and I literally just saw him getting cozy with Jason at the movie theater two days ago." 

"You did?" Niall asked, feeling a little shattered. The thought of Tyler and Jason fucking was one thing, thinking of them happily dating was something completely different and more painful. 

Louis pocketed Niall's phone and wrapped his arms around him, Niall let himself be held, going slack against him. He hated this, it was nearing the end of November, it had been over three months since he and Tyler had broken up and he was still feeling it, still letting it get to him. He didn't know how to make it stop. 

"Let's get out of here," Zayn suggested, rubbing soothingly at Niall's back. 

They were back at Niall's apartment when the next slew of texts came in. 

T: Please call me.  
T: baby please, I love you.  
T: I'm so sorry, I know I made a mistake but it doesn't change the way I feel about you.  
T: I love you. 

"I'm blocking his number," Zayn spoke, taking the phone from Niall's hands. 

"Zayn, no." Niall was panicking now, he wasn't sure why exactly, he shouldn't want to talk to Tyler but the thought of the option being taken away from him had his chest constricting. 

Zayn looked up at Niall, soft expression gracing his features. "Babe, he fucked you over. He doesn't deserve the chance to talk to you. You don't need this from him." He knew Zayn was right, so he curled into Louis who was sitting next to him on the sofa and hid his face in his shoulder while Zayn blocked Tyler's contact from his phone. 

The next Thursday he had decided to go to Thirsty with everyone. They were standing in a group, Louis' was telling a story about an angry student he had dealt with earlier in the day at his job as a drama coach while Aidan, Liam, and Niall listened. Zayn and Harry were already much more tipsy than the rest of them. Zayn was trying to dance up on Liam singing _I wanna rock with Somebody, I wanna take shots with somebody,_ and Harry was poking at Niall, demanding he spin him around. With a drink in his left hand, still following along with Louis' story, Niall held his right hand up and Harry latched onto it spinning around. He had only gotten a few spins in when all of them were interrupted by Tyler who was standing in front of them, arms crossed. 

In a move of anxious self-preservation, Niall spun Harry back against his body and dropped his arm, successfully trapping a willing Harry with an arm around his waist. 

Tyler scoffed and shook his head while they all stared at him. "So, this is why you've been refusing to talk to me," he affirmed, nodding towards his and Harry's hands which were still tangled together from the spinning. Neither of them made any move to step apart, Harry gave his hand a squeeze.

"What are you doing here?" Niall asked, wishing his voice sounded less weak. 

He took a step forward, Niall wished he would stop, turn around and leave. "I came to see you, figured you'd be here." 

"You should leave, I don't want to see you." Niall wondered if Harry could feel him shaking where their bodies were connected. 

"I made a mistake, I was stupid. But I want you back, I _need_ you."

Niall laughed dryly, hiding the fact that his heart was beating painfully in his chest. He held Harry firmly against him, the only thing keeping him grounded. "You haven't needed me a day in our relationship, you've always had Jason." 

"Jason was a mistake. Niall, I love _you_ , I want to marry _you_. He dug his hand into the pocket of his jeans and produced the engagement ring he had given Niall the day he had proposed. "Come on, love. Come home with me Niall." 

Niall drew in a shaky breath, he hated this. He hated it so much. He hadn't felt this broken since the day he had given his ring back to Tyler and fallen apart in Liam and Zayn's bed. Seeing Tyler so desperate had his heart clenching, knowing he was probably lying had it breaking.

"We're over, Tyler. You don't... You don't deserve any second chances, not from me." Tyler was starting to look angry now, he had slipped the ring back into his pocket and his hands were balled into fists at his sides. 

"It's because of him, isn't?" He accused, gesturing at Harry. "I should have known. You were on your way out the second he showed up here.

"That's bullshit and you know it!" Niall was breathing shakily, this was all too much. Was he really going to stand there and say Niall's feelings towards Harry were somehow the cause of their breakup when Tyler had literally been cheating on him the whole time they were together? "You cheated on me our whole relationship! You were fucking Jason the entire time we were together! And you're going to tell me this is somehow my fault because three months after we break up you see me holding hands with my ex? That's fucked up, and I am never going to get back together with you." Tyler huffed and Niall took a deep breath, Harry was stroking his hand gently with his thumb. 

"You need to leave," Louis said, his friends had stayed silent until this point, let them have it out, but they must have sensed that Niall was done now. 

"I'll walk him out," Liam said, and he moved forward escorting Tyler out of the bar with one hand on his elbow. 

Harry turned around and pulled Niall into his chest, Niall buried his face into the crook of Harry's neck. 

"If he ever shows up here again I'm pulling a Harry and punching him in the face." Louis had always been protective, Niall could hear the pure distaste he had for Tyler in the way he formed his words. "I hope Liam's threatening him or something."

Zayn started to say something then and he heard Aidan's voice mix in but he tuned them out. He was trying to keep himself from breaking down, didn't want to break down over this again. He was tired of feeling so weak and helpless because of a stupid broken heart. He concentrated on the smell of Harry, sandalwood and lavender just like he remebered, and the feel of Harry's hands pressing into his body. One on his waist and the other on the back of his neck, fingers brushing over the short hairs there. He closed his eyes and let himself breathe, Harry didn't say anything but he was swaying them slowly on the spot and the motion was soothing.

Liam came back in and Niall knew it was time to pull himself together and extract himself from the safety of Harry's embrace. It was stupid but he felt like he could hide from the world if he kept his face pressed into Harry's neck, like no harm would come to him if he stayed pressed against Harry. It was stupid of him to feel that way because it wasn't the right time, he wasn't ready for those feelings, and yet he let it happen anyways. 

When he was facing his friends again, Liam looked at him. "I told him he needed to stay away from you," he shrugged, "I don't know if he'll listen but I tried."

Niall wasn't sure if it would work, Liam wasn't exactly scary, but he thought maybe Tyler's knowledge of how protective he was of Niall would convince him to take it seriously. "Thanks Li," he said, leaning into him and letting him wrap an arm around his shoulders.

Part of him really wanted to leave, but he also didn't feel like being alone. So he stayed out with his friends and even managed to feel like he was having a good time by the end of the night. 

Once they said their goodbyes, Harry and Niall parted ways with the others to head towards their apartment complex. Niall was sleepy, a little sad, and a little cold so he slipped his hand into Harry's, taking comfort in the feeling of being close to someone he knew cared about him. He marveled in that fact for a second. Not long ago he barely wanted anything to do with Harry, had felt hurt and betrayed by him. Now he felt like Harry was a constant positive in his life. He hadn't expected to feel like that about Harry ever again, but the switch had been effortless. it was almost like the moment Harry had walked back into his life, Niall had known he wouldn't be going anywhere, knew he'd be sticking around for good.

"Do you know the song Gravity by Sara Bareilles?" Niall asked, looking over at Harry. 

He could tell Harry was thinking, it took him a minute and then he started singing quietly " _Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long..._ " he trailed off..

"Yeah, that one. Niall had always loved Harry's singing voice, it was deep and a little raspy and he sang with so much feeling it made Niall's heart rate accelerate. "It's been reminding me of you."

"That's not the happiest of songs," Harry sounded a little nervous. 

"I think maybe it has a different meaning to me than it does for most people." Niall paused because he wanted what he was about to say next to come out right, wanted Harry to understand what he was feeling without really having to say it. He knew music, he could communicate through song. "I think like, there's an inevitability to it. Like she's saying she can't let this person go, right? And I think maybe most people might thing she's feeling trapped but when I listen to the song that's not what I feel." They were in front of their building now and they had stopped walking, Harry was looking at him with a slight frown adorning his face. Niall wanted to reach out and smooth the lines in his forehead. He took a deep breath. "I feel like she was in this really important relationship, and then something went wrong and they couldn't fix it even though this other person is who she wants. And they're not friends and she doesn't hate them because they're not meant for that, they're meant to be lovers. And when she wrote the song the timing was off so they couldn't be together, it didn't feel right to her, but she knew there would come a time when everything would line up and they could make it work." 

Harry licked his lips, "and this makes you think of me?"

"Yes." Niall had barely gotten the word out before Harry was cupping his cheek with one hand, tracing over Niall's lips with his thumb.

"I'll be here when you're ready to make it work," Harry whispered, looking into Niall's eyes. 

Niall tilted his head forward and kissed the pad of Harry's thumb. "I know." 

They walked up to Harry's apartment in silence, Harry had reclaimed Niall's hand and when they stopped in front of his door, he pulled him in for a goodnight hug. "I like you," he said, and Niall huffed out a laugh. He was completely endeared. 

"I like you too, Haz." They exchanged goodnights, and Niall made his way up to his apartment. He was glad he had told Harry how he was feeling, knew Harry would give him all the space he needed until he was ready. And he was glad that he wasn't ready yet. It made him feel like he was doing the right thing, like he needed to spend some time alone before he could completely move forward. And he was glad that he had something so great to look forward to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, if this chapter hasn't made it clear, this fic was inspired by the song Gravity by Sara Bareilles. I hadn't heard it in a while and one day it came on shuffle and the idea hit me and I couldn't get it out of my head. 
> 
> Anyways, I'm writing through this as quickly as I can because I have it all planned out and I'm excited to get to the more intense Narry parts. I think you all will really enjoy them.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so. I swear I never forgot about or abandoned this fic. I became incredibly busy and completely lost inspiration, but over the past week I've been reading and re-reading it and working on this chapter. I'm attached to this fic and I want to do right by it, and I want to write quality updates for everyone who might still take the time to read this even though I left you guys hanging for so long. I sincerely apologize and hope not to stop updating again until I'm finished. I know exactly how I want the story to end, it's the getting there that's proving to be a challenge.

"Who are you texting?" Louis asked, trying to peek around the edge of Harry's phone.  
"Nobody," Harry replied, hiding the screen against his chest.  
"Well, _nobody_ is making you smile like a weirdo."  
He did his best to smooth out his facial features, trying to appear neutral. "I'm not smiling like a weirdo, that's just my face."  
"Your happy face. C'mooon, who is it? Lemme see!" Louis made a grab for Harry's phone, and Harry clutched it more tightly against his chest.  
"It's just... my mom." Harry attempted unconvincingly.  
Harry and Louis were sitting at a table at The Daily Bean, Louis had stopped by for coffee and Harry was on his break from work.  
"Your mom's a nice lady, but I know she doesn't make you smile like _that_."  
"Like what?" Harry asked, holding onto his phone with one hand and taking a sip of his coffee with the other. He was inwardly cursing his overly expressive facial features. Why did he have to physically react to text messages? _Why_ was he physically reacting to _these_ text messages?  
Suddenly Louis' hand shot across the table and before Harry knew what was happening, he was holding his phone triumphantly.  
"Like a giddy school girl," Louis answered, unlocking his phone.  
"How do you know my pass code?!" Harry exclaimed, trying not to seem as panicked as he felt, he just knew he was never going to hear the end of this from Louis.  
"I know everyone's pass code," Louis shrugged. "It's my talent."  
"Harry."  
"Yes Lou?"  
" _Really?_ "  
"What?"  
" _Niall_ "  
"What about him?" Harry asked, feigning innocence. Watching as Louis scrolled through the thread of conversation. He could practically feel Louis' excitement over reading the texts between himself and Niall.  
"You've been texting Niall! Niall is the person who has you smiling like a weirdo. I should have known!"  
"Yes, Niall and I text sometimes, because we're _friends_. And that was the truth, he and Niall were friends. Friends who once dated and we're now texting each other regularly throughout the day. Friends who held hands sometimes and came up with excuses to cuddle during movie nights with their friends. Friends who used to be in love with one another.  
"Oh yeah? You and I are friends, how come you never text me goodnight? Or tell me you hope I have a great day followed by a blushing smiley emoji?" Louis looked at Harry expectantly, eyebrows raised.  
Harry sighed, "I don't know what we're doing, okay? We had a moment on Halloween and we've just sort of been texting since, but that's all it is. It's kind of like we're getting to know each other again. I'm not..." Harry trailed off and attempted to collect his thoughts. He enjoyed the fact that he and Niall talked more now, but he wasn't trying to make anything out of it. Up until a few months ago Niall had been engaged to another man, and before that the two of them hadn't talked in over four years. For right now he was content to be back in Niall's life, thankful the other man didn't hate him for leaving him like he had. Cautiously hopeful after the conversation they had had on Halloween. "I'm not trying to pursue him, I'm just happy I can be a part of his life."  
Louis' face softened and he handed Harry his phone back. "He was devastated when you left, you know? Like, worse than when everything went down with Tyler."  
"Lou..." Harry wasn't sure where Louis was going with this, but it made him uncomfortable any time someone mentioned how upset Niall had been when he left. There was a selfish part of him who wished he didn't have to hear about it, hated thinking about breaking Niall's heart.  
"He was different after you left, even after he met Tyler and they got together. It was like... he was more reserved? He didn't throw himself into things like he had before, he was more cautious." Harry watched Louis talk and he could tell he was choosing his words carefully. "I hope one day the two of you get married and your kids call me Uncle Lou, but don't be surprised if it takes a while. And if you're not willing to wait a while, then you should probably walk away now." His tone held no threat, Harry could tell he was just being earnest, wanted to make sure Harry was sure. Didn't want to see Niall hurt again.  
"I'll wait," Harry said honestly. "For however long it takes, I'll wait."  
Louis nodded, accepting Harry's answer. Just then the door chimed signaling the entrance of a customer and Harry looked down at the time on his phone, "I should get back to work," he said and the two of them stood up.  
"I'll see you tonight at Thirsty's, right?"  
"I'll be there," Harry said, and they quickly said their goodbyes before Harry headed back to work.

********************

Harry leaned against the back wall of Thirsty's drinking something pink and fruity Zayn had shoved into his hand as he watched his friends enjoying themselves on the dance floor. Liam and Niall were dancing together, both of them just drunk enough to be giggly. They were laughing as Liam tried to gyrate his hips on rhythm, and Niall spun in a circle around him. Aidan and Louis were next to them dancing so closely that Harry could barely tell which skinny jean clad leg belonged to which man. He took a sip of his drink and looked over at Zayn who was leaning on the wall next to him, he had a beer in his hand but he had barely touched it. "What's up?" Harry asked, nudging him gently with his elbow. 

"What?" Zayn asked distractedly, turning his attention to Harry. 

It wasn't like Zayn not to be on the dance floor with Liam. Zayn wasn't into dancing like Liam was, but he usually followed him out on to the dance floor, if only to keep other people from asking Liam to dance. It also wasn't like Zayn to be so distracted, he could seem aloof at times, but he was rarely ever distracted. "What's up?" Harry repeated, studying his friend's face for any hint as to what might be going on. 

"I'm going to ask him to marry me," Zayn blurted out, and then his eyes went wide. "I didn't mean to say that! You can't tell anyone, promise you won't tell anyone! None of you can keep secrets!"

"I won't tell anyone," Harry agreed, grinning. "When are you gonna do it?" 

"At karaoke," Zayn answered, and he was starting to smile now too, as if he couldn't help himself. 

Harry pulled Zayn into a hug, "I'm really happy for you guys." And he was, he knew how much they loved each other, and how much they meant to each other. They deserved a lifetime of happiness together. 

"He hasn't said yes yet," Zayn replied, pulling out of the hug and looking back over the crowd to where Liam and Niall were still dancing. 

Harry followed his gaze, Niall now appeared to be attempting to tie his shoe by bringing his foot up to eye level rather than bending over, a wave of fondness washed over him. "He will."

Zayn had just opened his mouth to reply when they watched as Niall, unsurprisingly, fell over. "You should go get him," Zayn said, a hint of laughter in his voice. It looked like Liam was trying to help him up, but Niall kept slapping his hand away. 

They both walked over to Liam and Niall, as they got closer, Liam noticed Zayn and abandoned his efforts to try and get Niall to stand up. "We should just leave him here," Liam said, sounding pouty. 

"Maybe we should leave and let Harry take care of him," Zayn suggested, patting Liam's cheek. 

He looked down at Niall and Niall blinked back up at him. "Haaaaaaaaaaz!" 

"Why are you on the floor?

"I fell." 

"I saw. Why don't you get up and we'll get you home." 

"But what if I fall again?"

"I won't let you," Harry offered Niall his hand and he took it, he pulled Niall to his feet and they left the bar after telling Louis and Aidan goodnight. As they walked, Harry had one arm around Niall's waist, and the other was occupied with holding Niall's hand which was draped across his shoulders. It was cold, but the heat of Niall's body pressed against his side was keeping him from shivering.

"You're good at walking," Niall slurred, stumbling a little as he tried to look at Harry and walk at the same time. "Like, _really_ good at it." When Harry looked over at Niall and caught the sincere, serious look on his face, he burst into laughter, he couldn't help himself.

"Yeah? Well, I've been doing it since I was about a year old, I've had a lot of practice." 

"You're much better at walking than I am."

"Only when you're drunk," Harry replied, giving Niall's fingers a little squeeze. "When we're both sober, you're just as good at walking as I am, I promise." 

Niall seemed to think about this for a little bit before replying. "I think you're good at a lot of things, not just walking." 

Harry knew the only reason Niall was offering up this information freely was because he was drunk, but that didn't stop his curiosity, he wanted to know what else Niall thought he was good at. Even if it was something as mundane as walking. "Like what?" he asked, not knowing what to expect. 

"Being nice. You're really good at being nice, like right now. And making coffee, and also baking cake. Growing hair, taking turns picking movies for movie night, sex-"

"Niall!"

"What? You are!" Niall exclaimed exasperatedly, and Harry groaned. 

"Well, I'm happy you think so, but I don't think that's something we need to be discussing right now!" Harry could feel himself blushing, and his discomfort at the topic was getting the better of him. Sex didn't make him uncomfortable, he was completely comfortable discussing the topic, just not with his incredibly drunk ex-boyfriend. 

"You asked," Niall replied, shrugging a little. "And I answered. You're good at sex, you should be proud. Sometimes I-"

"Oh my god, you need to stop. You're so going to regret this when you're sober." 

"See, I was right, you're also good at being nice." And for the remaining walk of half a block and the time it took them to get into Niall's apartment, and for Harry to make sure Niall was tucked safely into bed before he left, Niall talked about how nice he thought Harry was. And Harry let him, partly because he selfishly enjoyed it, and partly because unlike the topic of sex, he knew it wasn't something that would keep either of them up at night. 

********************

It took every bit of patience and will power Harry possessed not to tell anyone about the proposal Zayn was planning. Because Zayn had been right, all of them really were terrible at keeping secrets. By the time karaoke night came around, Harry was ready to burst, and it must have shown because on the way to the bar that night Niall had asked why he seemed so excited. "I just really like karaoke nights!" Harry had answered, knowing he was a bad liar. Not missing the skeptical look Niall had given him at his answer. 

Now he, Niall, Louis, Aidan, and Liam were all standing near the karaoke stage and Liam was checking his phone for the hundredth time. "I don't know why he's not here yet," he commented, referring to Zayn. "And he hasn't answered my texts."

"He's on his way," Harry reassured him, showing him the text Zayn had sent him which had been part of their plan to get Liam to arrive at the bar separate from Zayn. "he told me to tell you he's just running a little late." 

"Okay... but why is he texting you instead of me." And, okay. Maybe their plan wasn't entirely fool proof, because Harry had no idea what to say. Why hadn't they decided to have Zayn text Liam that he was running late? That would have made way more sense. Harry internally kicked himself and realized that Liam was looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. He also noticed Niall looking at him quizzically, like he was trying to figure something out. 

"Umm... he and I were texting earlier?" Harry knew it was a flimsy explanation and Liam still didn't look satisfied, but it's all he could come up with on the spot. He turned away pretending to watch a middle aged woman belting out "I Will Survive" and he felt his phone vibrate in his hand. He looked down and saw a new text from Niall. 

N: What's going on with Z?  
H: Nothing. Why?  
N: Cuz you've been acting rly weird  
H: I have not!  
N: Ok, whatever u say :P  
H: :)  
N: Tell me! :(  
H: Can't, sorry :( :(  
N: :( :( :(

Just then, Harry was saved from their frowny face battle by Zayn's name being called. As he walked onto the stage, Liam elbowed Harry lightly in the ribs and looked at him, eyebrows raised. Harry just smiled and shrugged, turning his attention back to Zayn.

"I have a really important duet to sing," Zayn said into the mic, searching the crowd until his eyes landed on his group of friends standing near the stage. "But before I start, I need my duet partner. Liam my love, will you join me?" Harry gave Liam a little shove, prompting him to hop up on the small karaoke stage next to Zayn, taking the second mic he was holding out for him. Harry felt someone settle into Liam's abandoned spot next to him and looked over to see Niall gazing at his friends on stage curiously, he must of felt Harry looking because he looked over and they made eye contact then. The music started and he flashed him a small smile, then looked back up at Zayn who was beginning tZao sing. 

" _I never knew such a day could come, and I never knew such a love could be inside of one. And I never knew what my life was for, but now that you're here I know for sure."_

Liam, realizing what the song was, stumbled over the first few words of his verse, " _I never knew til I looked in your eyes, I was incomplete til the day you walked into my life. And I never knew that my heart could feel so precious and pure, one love so real."_

Zayn reached out and took Liam's free hand and the two of them looked into each others eyes and together they sang " _Can I just see you ever morning when I open my eyes, can I just feel your heart beating beside me every night. Can we just feel this way together til the end of all time. Can I just spend my life with you._ "

Harry had never heard his friends sing together like this, but they sounded beautiful. And the emotion and sincerity behind the words they were singing, mixed with the knowledge that Zayn was about to ask Liam to marry him had Harry tearing up. He was a sucker for this sort of thing. More than once he had caught himself crying over musical proposal videos on Facebook. Liam had seemed to catch on to what was happening pretty early on in the song and as they neared the end, Harry could tell he was blinking back happy tears. The two of them hadn't taken their eyes off of one another since the song started and the whole bar was quiet, watching Zayn and Liam sing to one another. He felt Niall's hand slip into his and he glanced over, but Niall's eyes were still trained on the stage. Just behind him, Louis stood with one arm around Aidan's waist, the other holding up his phone, recording the moment. 

The song came to an end and Zayn took Liam's mic, placing it on a mic stand before returning to stand in front of him. "Liam Payne," he started, once again taking Liam's hand in his free one. "For as long as I can remember, you've been the person I've pictured being with when I've thought of my future. I can't imagine a life without you and I don't want to send a single day apart from you. You're the love of my life and I want to spend my life with you if you'll have me. Will you marry me?" Zayn asked. Liam, freely crying now, surged forward and embraced Zayn, someone from the bar discretely took Zayn's mic and placed it back on it's stand while the two stood holding onto one another, huge grins on their faces, Liam crying and Zayn wiping the tears from his cheeks. It was difficult to hear over the cheering from the other bar patrons, but Harry could see Liam repeating the word "yes" like a mantra. 

"You're crying," came Niall's voice from next to him, his tone was teasing. Their hands were still linked together.  
"Shut up," Harry groaned, sticking his bottom lip out in a pout. "I'm happy for them!"  
"I'm happy for them too," Niall said, and he brought his other hand up to run a thumb across Harry's bottom lip, smoothing out his pout.

Liam and Zayn rejoined them then, and their group of friends spent the next few hours, hugging, and drinking, and taking pictures. Reminiscing back on Zayn and Liam's relationship, and vaguely discussing future wedding plans. All of them were happy, all of them were excited, and it was probably one of the best nights Harry had had since he had returned to London. As the night progressed, Harry couldn't help but notice that it seemed to be an effort for Niall to keep his spirits up. And he kept falling quiet when he thought no one was paying attention. Harry was always paying attention. 

As usual, Harry and Niall left the bar and headed toward their apartment building together. It was snowing and stars twinkled in the dark blue night sky, next to him, Niall walked in silence, hands tucked into his coat pockets. 

"Are you okay?" Harry asked, suspecting that Niall's silence had something to do with the fact that less than a year ago, he had been the one engaged, and had his fiance not been a lying cheater, they would have been well on their way to married by now. 

After a brief pause, Niall shrugged a little. "Just a little sad," he answered honestly. "Liam and Zayn, they're going to have a great life together. They already have a great life together. Twice I thought I had what they have, twice I was wrong." 

"You weren't wrong, one day you will have that." 

"I guess."

"I'm sure. You'll have that Niall, you deserve it."

They stopped walking and Niall turned to face Harry. "How come I didn't deserve it four years ago?" 

"You did, you always have. But I didn't. I wasn't ready to accept that kind of love. The kind that lasts forever and never stops, I wasn't ready so I didn't deserve it." 

"And now?"

"Now? Now you still deserve it. And I'm ready to accept it." 

In the light of a street lamp, Niall's clear blue eyes stared into Harry's, searching. He bit his lip, snow was swirling around them and he thought Niall had never looked so inviting. 

"I'm still not ready to give it."

"I know," he said. And Harry did know, he also knew that he was ready to start trying to win Niall back. He had a plan, and he was eager to start the process. It might take a while, but he was willing to go the extra distance if it meant he'd have Niall back in his arms again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Zayn and Liam sing is called "Spend My Life With You" by Eric Benet ft. Tamia.
> 
> If you've taken the time to read this update, seriously, thank you. And again, I apologize for the long break.


	16. Chapter 16

It was the first day of December and Niall was on his way to The Daily Bean to pick up his morning coffee from Harry. And he'd be lying to himself if he said it wasn't one of his favorite parts of his day. Harry always had his favorite coffee waiting for him, and he always handed it over with a smile and light conversation. Sometimes he threw in baked goods, and if he knew Niall was hungover, he would have a large waiting for him instead of a medium. Today when Niall pushed the door open, there were two customers in front of him and he hung back, waiting patiently as Harry took their orders and made their coffees. Once the second customer was on her way out the door, Niall made his way up to the counter, and Harry turned towards him, warm smile lighting up his face. A smile that regularly made Niall's stomach flip when it was directed towards him, a fact Niall begrudgingly accepted but tried to ignore. 

"Good morning," Harry said brightly, handing Niall his coffee and then leaning casually against the counter. 

"Morning, Haz," Niall answered, unable to stop himself from smiling, maybe a little too fondly. "How's work?"

"Not too bad, I think the first day of December has everyone in the Christmas spirit. I haven't had a single customer yell about their order yet." 

"Want me to start yelling? You shouldn't get used to the peace, that's not how working with the general public works. You gotta stay on your toes."

Harry shook his head and replied teasingly. "People who get their coffee for free aren't allowed to complain."

Niall raised an eyebrow. "Any other people not allowed to complain, or is it just me?" Niall was aware he was fishing for information into Harry's social life, he wasn't even sure Harry had a social life outside of their shared group of friends, but they didn't really talk to one another about the people they were hooking up with, at least Niall didn't. It had been a while since he'd heard any mention of Harry going on dates with anyone. Niall still went to the club with Zayn and Louis on Fridays and found someone to hook up with, although it was beginning to feel a little less fun than it had in the beginning. He was sure Harry was to blame for that, but he wasn't sure that he minded. 

"Aside from Louis when I can't handle his begging any longer? No, just you." And the way his features and tone softened when he said "just you" suggested Harry was referring to more than just free coffee. It also had him feeling a little weak. He bit his lip. 

"Is that okay?" Harry asked, studying Niall carefully, eyes searching his face. 

"Yeah, I think so." Niall answered. If Harry wanted Niall to be the only person he served free coffee to, who was Niall to stop him? And if he wanted Niall to be the only person he was considering romantically, again, who was Niall to stop him? Niall didn't want to stop him, not even a little bit. The thought scared him a little, but he wouldn't deny it. 

"That's good, because I have something for you." As Harry was turning to pull something from beneath the counter behind him, the door chimed and another customer made their way up to the counter, waiting for Harry to take their order. Harry handed Niall an envelope with "Day 1" written on the back, Niall looked up at Harry who looked a little nervous. "Read it when you get to work," he said, in answer to Niall's questioning look. "Text me later." And with that, Harry turned to the waiting customer and Niall forced himself to leave the coffee shop and make his way to work.

Niall wasn't sure how long he sat holding the envelope Harry had given him in his hands before he finally opened it, he had no idea what to expect. After a lengthy amount of time spent contemplating and overthinking, Niall opened the flap and slid out the note card that was inside. 

" _Niall,_  
Even when I was away, you were always on my mind.  
Everywhere I went, I saw things that reminded me of you.  
Over the years, I never forgot a single thing about you.  
I still remember all the things you told me, every little fact.  
And through your truths, it's like you're a part of me.  
Always have been, always will be. 

_Twice you told me your favorite color was green, the_  
first time you said it was an Irish thing, the second time  
you said it was because it reminded you of my eyes.  
Is your favorite color still green? 

Niall blinked. He wasn't sure what Harry was trying to do, but whatever it was, it was working. He read and re-read the note several times. It was short and simple, but it had his heart beating faster. He could feel the flush that was heating up his cheeks, and he felt like a teenager with a crush. At this rate it wouldn't be long before he was calling up Liam gushing over the fact that Harry Styles liked him. He shook his head and pulled out his phone, not to call Liam, but instead to text Harry. He'd call Liam later, after work. Or maybe he'd just stop by his apartment after work so he could get opinions from both Liam and Zayn. 

N: My favorite color is still green.  
H: Because it's an Irish thing?  
N: Because it's a Harry thing. 

Niall sent the message and threw his phone down on his desk. What was he doing? His phone vibrated with a new text message and he jumped. He picked his phone back up and opened the text. 

H: I wasn't expecting that.  
N: neither was i  
H: Is it okay if tomorrow I continue with Day 2?  
N: day 2 of wat?  
H: Whatever you decide. 

He had already decided. He had decided a while ago, he'd like to say he decided the day Harry took him to get his things from the apartment he had shared with Tyler. But he suspected he had decided long before that. Niall had felt the shift the day he'd run into Harry in the supermarket. The second Harry had walked back into his life, he had known their story wasn't over. But he still had to give himself time. He couldn't let himself go running back into Harry's arms, not yet. He needed to feel like he was doing this on his own terms, and he knew Harry would wait for him. He texted Harry a simple "yes" back, and then got to work. 

********************

Niall did end up stopping by Liam and Zayn's after work. When he got there, Zayn opened the door and Niall followed him into the kitchen where Liam was making dinner. "Hey Ni," Liam said, chopping a green pepper and putting the pieces into a pan. 

"Hey," Niall replied, taking a seat in one of the chairs at their kitchen table. Zayn pulled out the chair opposite him and they both sat and watched Liam as he worked. "What're you making?"

"Why? You planning on staying for dinner?" 

"Maybe. If you're making something good."

"You didn't even come to see us, did you? You just came for the free food." 

Niall laughed. "You're right, I don't even care about you guys, I just come here so you'll feed me." Zayn pouted and Niall kicked at his foot under the table. "Nah, I came to see you guys, to talk to you about something, actually. But also I wouldn't say no to food." 

"I'm making roast chicken and sauteed veggies, and you're welcome to stay to eat with us." Liam said, moving on to chopping up an onion. 

"Sooo, what did you come to talk to us about?" Zayn asked. 

Niall didn't really know where to start, and suddenly he was feeling a little shy on the topic. He wasn't sure how they'd feel about him and Harry... doing whatever it was they were doing. "Well, uh..." he scratched at the back of his neck and Zayn raised an eyebrow. 

"Well what?" 

"I uh... today... Harry gave me this note, like, I don't know. He gave me a note with my coffee asking if my favorite color was still green."

"What?" Zayn asked, looking confused. 

Niall sighed and pulled the note card out of his pocket and handed it over to Zayn who read it out loud to Liam while Niall sat staring down at the table, he was sure his face was probably bright red at this point. 

"So Harry's trying to seduce you" Zayn said. 

"Is it working?" Liam asked. 

"I think it's working." Zayn said, grinning at the blush on Niall's face. 

"Guys," Niall groaned, dropping his face into his hands. "This is serious." 

"Niall's got a crush," Zayn singsonged. 

"If I'd known this is the reaction I was going to get, I would have went to Louis first." 

Liam laughed, "No you wouldn't have, Louis' would be much worse." And of course, Liam was right. 

"How do you feel about this?" Zayn asked, gesturing towards the letter.

"I feel happy? Excited? I texted him about it and he asked if he could continue with Day 2 and I told him yes." 

"What's Day 2?" 

Niall shrugged, "I have no idea. I'm guessing another letter or question or something?" 

"So you're going to let Harry seduce you." Liam stated. He had finished preparing the vegetables which were now sizzling in a pan on the stove. He was leaning back against the kitchen counter, arms crossed over his chest. 

"I'm going to see where Harry's going with this, yes." Niall answered, uncertain of how Liam was feeling. "Do you think that's okay? Am I making a mistake?"

Zayn shook his head, "No, I don't think so. I think you two have some things you need to figure out, and I think this is a step in the right direction." 

Niall looked to Liam then, who hesitated a little. "I gave Harry my blessing months ago," he said, shrugging. "I think you two were meant for each other." 

This surprised Niall, "You did?"

"Yeah, it was the weekend of your birthday, he said he wasn't trying to pursue you or anything, but honestly I'm glad he is now." 

Niall nodded, "I think I am too." 

"So, how long before you two have sex?" 

Liam laughed and Niall kicked at Zayn's foot under the table again, "Zayn!"

"What? You know it's going to happen sooner or later!"

And, yeah. It probably _hopefully_ would, but that didn't mean they had to discuss that right now. So Niall changed the topic and the three of them ate dinner and spent the rest of the night hanging out and watching re-runs of crappy reality TV shows. 

********************

The next day when Niall stopped into The Daily Bean on his way to work, the shop was empty and Harry was wiping off the counter. "Hey," he said, looking up from the counter with a shy smile. 

"Hey," Niall replied, and he could feel himself blushing for what seemed like the hundredth time over the past 24 hours. 

Harry put his towel down and picked up a cup from the counter. "I have your coffee," he said, holding the cup out to Niall. Niall took the coffee and Harry slid an envelope labeled "Day 2" across the counter. "And this." 

He took the envelope and slid it into his pocket. "I'll read it when I get to work." 

"And you'll text me?"

"And I'll text you." They gazed at one another for a few seconds longer and Niall was uncertain of what to say or do, he shifted from one foot to the other. 

Harry let out a small laugh then, and Niall watched as he made his way around the counter to stand in front of Niall. He took the cup of coffee out of Niall's hand and set it down before wrapping his arms around Niall's shoulders. Niall reciprocated by wrapping his arms around Harry's waist, and leaning his forehead against Harry's shoulder. The two of them relaxed against one another instantly. "We're being awkward," Harry stated, matter of fact. 

Niall laughed into Harry's shoulder, "I know." 

"Let's not be, okay?"

"Okay," Niall agreed. And he pulled back just enough to look at Harry who was smiling at him. He leaned up and kissed his cheek and now Harry was the one blushing. "Don't be awkward," Niall teased, patting Harry on the cheek playfully and grabbing his coffee. "Have a good day, Haz!" And he was out the door grinning to himself before Harry had time to reply. 

When he got to work, he eagerly opened the envelope and read the note that was inside. 

_Your favorite season used to be spring. You once told me you like it best because it made you feel like the earth was coming back to life after winter.  
I like it best because it reminds me of you. Is spring still your favorite season? _

It appeared that Harry was trying to prove that he did in fact remember everything about Niall, he wondered how long this would go on and what sort of things Harry would ask him about. He pulled his phone out and sent a quick picture message of the note to Liam and Zayn before sending a text to Harry.

N: my favorite season is still spring, but I've started to appreciate autumn a lot too   
H: Why autumn?  
N: I like the colors, and how quiet it feels  
H: Can I continue with Day 3 tomorrow?  
N: of course :)

And with that simple text, Niall spent the whole day anticipating the note he'd get with tomorrow's coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make sure I posted another update ASAP so as not to keep anyone waiting! It might be about a week before I'm able to update again, but I promise it's going to be a good one. Thanks again to everyone who took the time to read the last chapter and to anyone reading this one! And thanks for being so understanding about the amount of time I was away. I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.


	17. Chapter 17

"What are you doing?" Louis asked, leaning against the counter at The Daily Bean while Harry made his usual large iced cinnamon roll latte with three extra shots of cinnamon. Harry had no idea how all that sugar in one drink could taste good, but it was pretty much all Louis drank. 

"Making your drink?" Harry answered, raising an eyebrow at Louis questioningly. 

"No, I mean with _Niall_ " Louis replied, drawing out the vowels in Niall's name. 

Harry rolled his eyes and handed Louis his coffee. "I'm not doing anything with Niall, he's at work and so am I." 

"Not right now, _you know what I mean_. Stop avoiding the question, Styles. I know about the love letters you've been giving him."

"They're not love letters, they're just notes."

"Love notes."

"Just notes."

"Flirty notes." 

"Okay, flirty notes." Harry conceded. "I just... want to prove to him that I never forgot about him. And that I've always cared about him." 

"And that you want to bang him."

"Louis."

"What?"

"That's not what this is about. I mean, of course I'm attracted to him, but I'm not trying to hook up with him. I'm trying to date him." And that's exactly what Harry was doing. He wanted to date Niall, he wanted to take him out and hold his hand and spend lazy days in watching Netflix with him. He wanted to be his boyfriend.

"Ugh, you guys are so _boring_. I better be the first to hear about it after you finally bang." Louis was honestly a nuisance. Harry's favorite nuisance, but still a nuisance.

"We'll see," Harry said. Knowing Louis would be the first person he told if him and Niall had sex, also knowing that not knowing would drive Louis crazy. 

Louis groaned in frustration, "I hate you." 

"You love me," Harry replied, "Now get out of here, I'm trying to work."

"See you later at Thirsty," Louis said in parting, and he left the shop leaving Harry to do his job.

********************

That evening Harry got to Thirsty before the other guys. He sat alone at the bar waiting for them, sipping at a pineapple mojito. 

"Here you go," the bartender said, sliding a pina colada towards him. "From him," he pointed out a muscular guy with close-cropped brown hair and dark brown eyes wearing a black v-neck that fit just right against his toned body. When Harry looked over at him, they made eye contact and the muscular guy shot him a blinding smile before making his way over.

"Hey," he said, sliding into the empty stool next to Harry. "I saw you order a pineapple mojito and figured you probably liked pina coladas too." He didn't. Harry smiled politely and took a sip of his mojito, trying his best to seem friendly but uninterested. He was good looking, probably someone Harry would have hooked up with on his time away, but he wasn't the man Harry wanted. 

"Thanks," Harry said, running a finger around the rim of the offered drink. 

"I'm Nigel," the man said, holding his hand out. 

"Harry," Harry answered, shaking his hand. 

"What're you doing here all alone, Harry? Waiting for strange men to buy you drinks?"

Harry laughed a little and shook his head, "No, waiting for my friends. I know the band that plays here on Thursdays." 

"No boyfriend?"

Harry hesitated, he didn't want Nigel to think he was free, but he also had a strict no lying policy. "No boyfriend." 

Harry took another sip of his mojito. "I guess I picked the right guy to buy a drink for, then." And right as Nigel reached over to place a hand on Harry's arm, Niall took the empty bar stool on his other side, body brushing Harry's on his way to sitting. 

"Hey Harry," Niall said, tone even. He slung his left arm over the back of Harry's chair.

"Hey," Harry said, feeling relieved, pulling his arm away from Nigel's touch. "Where are the others?" 

"Looking for a table." Niall answered, looking not at Harry, but past him to Nigel. "I'm NIall." As Niall introduced himself, he let the arm he had resting on the back of Harry's chair fall so that his hand was resting on Harry's lower back. 

"Nigel." Nigel said nodding, standing up from his seat. "'l'll let you get to your friends, Harry. Save a dance for me later?"

"Maybe," Harry said smiling dismissively, and Nigel walked away to the opposite side of the bar.

"You're not going to dance with him," Niall said casually, still not looking at Harry.

Harry turned toward Niall who was busy pretending to study a list of beers on the bar in front of him. "No, I'm not. But was that a statement or a question?"

Niall looked up at him then, looking a little sheepish, "Sorry." 

"Don't be. I was relieved when you showed up, I didn't want to talk to him, but he bought me a drink." Harry said honestly.

"You don't like pina coladas."

"I don't," Harry said smiling, he pushed the drink towards Niall. "But you do." 

Niall grinned back and took the drink. "Let's go find the others." 

For the rest of the night Niall stuck by Harry's side, finding a way to innocently touch him every time Nigel passed by. It started happening so frequently that after the fifth or sixth time, Niall shoved his hand into Harry's back pocket and pulled him forward. Their hips met suddenly and Harry looked at Niall who had a blush creeping up from his neck to his face. "I thought if he saw us like... he'd give up." he finished uncertainly. 

Harry leaned forward to whisper in Niall's ear, "Don't let Louis see, we'd never hear the end of it," hoping to add to the act to deter Nigel. Was it an act? Harry had no idea. But he could feel Niall's warm fingers resting against his right ass cheek. He should probably move away now. He stayed where he was. 

Niall laughed, "You're right, and he's likely to take pictures." His hand lingered in Harry's back pocket for just a second longer before he pulled it out and took a half step back from Harry. Nigel didn't circle them again. 

They held hands on the way home that night, fingers intertwined. "You never texted me about Day 4," Harry said, squeezing Niall's hand. 

"Because I wanted to talk about it in person." Niall had texted Harry when he got to work that morning, but avoided mentioning the note Harry had given him with his coffee. 

_After our first big fight I found you at Clay's Park on the swings. You told me you liked to go there when you were upset because swinging had been your favorite thing to do on the playground when you were younger and it made you feel calm. Is that still your happy place?_

"I went there after you left," Niall continued quietly, "I went there every day for a month before Liam made me stop. I went there after work and I'd sit there until it got dark and someone came to find me. I went there because I thought maybe one day you'd be the one who came to find me but you never were," he trailed off and Harry could hear in his voice that recalling the memory was upsetting for him. He tried pulling his hand out of Harry's grasp, but Harry held on. "I haven't been back since."

They walked in silence for a while, Harry was unsure of what to say and he could tell Niall was caught in his own thoughts. "I'm sorry." Harry settled on finally, and he meant it. He was sorry. Sorry for a lot of things, mostly for letting Niall down and breaking his heart. If he could go back in time, he wouldn't change the fact that he left, but he'd change the way that he left. He'd figure out a way to do it that wouldn't have been so hurtful to Niall. But he didn't have that option. 

"I know," Niall said sincerely, "I can tell." He squeezed Harry's hand both of them relaxed. 

"Can I take you there?"

"To Clay's?" 

Harry nodded and Niall bit his lip before answering, "Yeah. You can take me there." 

It was a little out of their way and the night air was cold, but they were both wearing hats and coats and they were standing close enough to keep each other warm. When they got to the park, Niall sat down on a swing and Harry stood behind him, giving him a little push. Niall kicked his legs out and let Harry push him. After a few more pushes, Harry pulled on the chain causing Niall's swing to jolt sideways which had them both laughing. Harry stood back and let Niall right himself and then took a seat on the swing next to his. 

Niall reached out and grabbed the chain of Harry's swing, pulling them closer together. "I'm happy," he said. The simple phrase had Harry's heart racing and he wished he could freeze this moment and keep it forever. Niall's happiness was important to him above anything else, and knowing he was a part of it made it even better. 

"I'm happy too," Harry said, and before he knew what was happening, Niall was standing between Harry's legs, a hand on both chains of the swing right above his own.

Their faces were so close together now that Harry could see Niall's intense blue gaze even in the dark, and he could smell the sweetness of the alcohol and pineapple that lingered on his breath. "Promise me something," Niall whispered, "promise me that if you're ever unhappy with me again, you'll let me know. Promise me that if you want to leave, you'll give me a heads up."

"I promise." Harry answered earnestly with no hesitation. Not even a little part of him thought he'd leave again, but he knew that wasn't what was important to Niall at the moment. Knew that Niall needed him to promise this. "If anything changes, if for some reason I'm no longer happy, I promise I'll let you know." 

Then, barely audible, Niall looked away and said, "promise you won't break my heart." Niall's voice broke and Harry's heart dropped. He stood from the swing and wrapped his arms around Niall who leaned into his embrace. 

"I know my past actions may prove otherwise, but I promise your heart is safe with me. I never want to see you hurt again, I'll do whatever I can to protect it." He rubbed a hand up and down Niall's back, and Niall nuzzled his face into Harry's shoulder. 

Niall pulled back and wiped at his eyes, "I'm holding you to that." 

They started back towards their apartment building then, once again hand in hand. Harry walked Niall to his door and kissed his forehead while hugging him goodnight. He wanted so badly to kiss him on the lips, but knew now wasn't the time for that. Knew he had to wait patiently for the right moment. Wondered whether he'd be able to stop once he started. Thought there were way worse things than kissing Niall for the rest of eternity. 

He went home that night very happy, and hoped even happier days were yet to come. He had a good feeling about himself and Niall this time around, and he wasn't about to let it go to waste.


	18. Chapter 18

Niall stopped going out on Friday nights, and Louis let him. In fact, Louis had been the one to suggest it. The Friday after Harry started giving him the notes, Louis invited Niall and Zayn to his apartment for pizza and movies. They hung out and nobody mentioned it. Zayn and Louis teased Niall for snapchatting Harry all night, they discussed having a bachelor party for Zayn, and bugged him so much about who was going to be best man that he pulled out his phone, called Harry, and asked him to be his best man. This prompted Louis to refuse to speak to him until Zayn threatened to shave his head in the middle of the night. 

"You can't do that, you ass. My hair is _sacred_." Louis shouted. 

"Knew I could get you to talk to me," Zayn said. "And your hair isn't sacred, it's a mess."

"How _dare_ you. Niall! Tell him this is an outrage!"

Niall laughed, "It's not an outrage Lou, it's the truth."

"Well Aidan likes my hair," Louis said, crossing his arms and turning his nose up. 

"Aidan likes everything about you, that doesn't count." 

"Does too, he counts for at least three people."

"You guys are gross." Niall teased, throwing a pillow and hitting Louis in the side of the head causing Zayn to laugh and Louis to look even more annoyed. 

"Please, we're nothing compared to you and Harry. With your notes and your glances, gazing into each other's eyes, holding hands, texting each other constantly. Snapchatting."

"We're not even dating!" 

"You might as well be," Zayn said, and Louis nodded in agreement. "Why aren't you? I'm pretty sure Harry'd be with you in a second if you asked." Zayn was right, of course. Harry had made that perfectly clear. And he wanted to be with Harry, he really really did. But he still didn't know if he was ready for it. There was still a small part of him that was scared. 

"It's kind of a big deal." Niall said, shrugging a little. "Not that long ago I was engaged to another man, and... and it's _Harry_."

"Yes, exactly." Louis said. "It's just Harry, you guys have done this before."

Niall sighed, "To me he's never been _just Harry_ , that's my problem. I don't think I could handle getting him back only to lose him again."

"Who says you're going to lose him?" Zayn asked, looking at him seriously. "I think you're it for each other. And I think this time you're both ready for that." 

Niall fidgeted in his seat, his stomach was doing somersaults and he could feel his face heating up. Was Zayn right? Was Harry ready for that? Was _he_ ready for that? A few months ago he had been ready to spend his life with another man, was it possible for him to already be considering spending his life with Harry? Was that okay? A large part of his brain seemed to be screaming "Yes!" There had been a time in his life that he had been certain he was going to spend his life with Harry. A part that had never fully given up, a part that had been expanding since the moment Harry had come back into his life.

Was Harry ready? He wanted so badly to believe that he was. And the more time he spent with Harry, the more certain he became that he was. But he still felt as if holding out, at least for a little while longer, was what he should do. And he couldn't shake that feeling. 

"Maybe you're right," he said. And looked up to see both Louis and Zayn grinning at him. 

********************

The next Wednesday when Niall stopped by The Daily Bean for his morning coffee, Harry wasn't there. There was an older woman in his place who Niall recognized as someone who usually worked nights, and when he asked her if Harry was around, she said he'd called off sick for the day. After he got his coffee, Niall took a seat at one of the tables by the window and took his phone out to call Harry. It rang four times before he finally picked up. 

"'Lo?" Harry answered, voice sounding groggy and a little strained. 

"I heard you called off work, is everything alright?" Niall asked, concerned. On the other end of the line, he heard Harry groan and then groan again immediately afterwards as if groaning had made him groan. "Harry?"

"Hold on a sec-" Harry said, followed by some unidentifiable noises and then something that sounded a lot like the muffled sound of throwing up. A few seconds later and he was back on the line "I'm a little sick."

"Did you just throw up?" 

"I've been throwing up since about 4am, I think I have the flu or something." His voice sounded weak and a little sad, Harry had always hated being sick, hated throwing up even more. 

"Harry! Why didn't you tell me? You could have called! I would have come over, I'm on my way now, I'll pick up some gatorade and ginger ale and crackers." 

"Uggghh, no food." Harry groaned barely audible. "I'll be okay, you can come over after work"

He stood from his seat and headed towards the door. "I'm already on my way, Haz. I'll be there soon, okay?" 

"I have to go," Harry said quickly, and hung up. Niall assumed he was going to throw up again. Once he was off the phone, he called work and told them he wouldn't be able to make it in, they assured him they'd be okay without him for the day and he hung up. At the supermarket, he picked up three bottles of lemon-lime gatorade, a flavor he knew Harry liked, a bottle of ginger ale and a box of saltine crackers. He knew Harry wouldn't be eating right away, but he'd have to eat eventually. When he was done he left the supermarket and made his way back to their apartment building, he stopped by his own apartment first to pick up Harry's spare key which he'd dropped off at Niall's a while ago. Said it seemed the most convenient option. Niall had agreed and hung it on the ring with his own keys. 

He didn't bother knocking, didn't want Harry to attempt to get up to get to the door. Harry wasn't on the couch, Niall figured he must be in his bedroom. He went to the kitchen to drop off the bag of groceries, and poured a glass of gatorade before making his way to the bedroom. 

Harry was curled up into a ball in the middle of his bed, blankets pulled up around his chin. His curls were a tangled mess across his pillow, and his mouth was hanging open. He looked young, his features soft. Setting the glass aside, Niall sat down on the edge of the bad and reached out a hand to run his fingers over Harry's hair, pushing it back out of his eyes. He blinked his eyes open and looked up at Niall. "You're here." 

"I am. And I brought gatorade." Harry rolled towards Niall and pressed his forehead against his thigh, curled his body around Niall. 

"I'm dying," Harry moaned. "Niall, I _hate_ throwing up. I don't want to throw up anymore." His moan had definitely turned into a whine. 

Niall rubbed Harry's back in slow soothing circles, "I know, Haz. But if this is the flu, it shouldn't last much longer. Hopefully less than a day." 

"I wanna feel better now." 

"I know. How about we lay in bed all day and watch movies to take your mind off of it?" 

"Can we watch Love Actually?" Harry asked, Niall looked down to see Harry looking up at him, bottom lip stuck out in a pout. 

Niall huffed out a laugh and pressed his thumb gently into Harry's bottom lip. "You know we can." 

"Yayy!" Harry cheered weakly and then paused, "Oh no." He jumped up from the bed and ran for the bathroom, Niall followed behind him and sat on the side of the tub, rubbing Harry's back as he leaned over the toilet and threw up into the bowl. When he was done, Niall stood up and grabbed a cloth, wetting it before kneeling down next to Harry and using it to wipe off his face and neck and then his mouth. 

"You okay?" Niall asked. 

"No." 

"Come on, let's get you back to your bed." Niall stood and took Harry's hand, pulling him to his feet. 

They spent the rest of the day in Harry's bed watching movies of Harry's choosing while Harry napped off and on and Niall played around on his phone. Niall made Harry drink gatorade and after he'd stopped frequently throwing up, gave him some saltine's which he was able to keep down. 

Harry was laying with his head on Niall's thigh and Niall was coming his fingers through Harry's curls. "Feels good," Harry muttered. "What time is it?"

"Ten-thirty," Niall answered, stifiling a yawn. 

"You should stay."

"My apartment's not far." Niall replied, keeping his tone light and teasing. He wanted to stay. He was warm and comfortable and having Harry in his arms felt so natural. He felt content. 

"I want you to stay." 

"Okay."

Niall lay down and made himself comfortable, he opened his arms and Harry cuddled into his side. "Thank you," Harry said, and Niall pressed a kiss to the crown of his head.

"You don't have to thank me, I want to be here."

"I know, but I'm still thankful."

They were both quiet for a little while, Niall rubbing up and down Harry's arm, Harry with his hand resting on Niall's chest. "I didn't get a note today," Niall said softly. Up until today Harry had been consistent with his notes, giving him a new one every morning.

"Day nine. Do you still listen to Katy Perry in the mornings?" Harry asked.

"I guess you'll find out." Niall answered. "Go to sleep, you need rest."

"Goodnight, Ni." Harry whispered, leaning up to kiss under Niall's chin.

"Goodnight, Haz."

And it wasn't long before they both fell asleep, tangled up in each other's arms.

********************

Niall was halfway through Katy Perry's _Teenage Dream_ the next morning when Harry came into the kitchen where he was making toast.

"So the answer's yes." Harry stated, pulling out a chair and sitting down. "You do still listen to Katy Perry in the morning."

"I do." Niall said, setting a plate with two plain pieces of toast in front of Harry. "Are you feeling better?"

"I'm still a little tired and groggy and my stomach feels kind of cramp-y, but I'm feeling much better than yesterday." He looked better too. He wasn't as pale and he didn't look as tired. He did however look adorably bed rumpled, which had Niall smiling fondly. He was feeling almost giddy. Something about the day before had made things click for him, and it was like he couldn't hold himself back any longer.

"Harry?"

"Yeah?" he had just taken a bite of toast and a few crumbs escaped his mouth.

"Will you go on a date with me this Saturday?" Niall thought maybe he should feel nervous, but instead he just felt excited. Excited because he knew Harry would say yes and excited because he knew this would make Harry's day.

For a moment Harry just stared at him, mouth hanging open, a piece of toast halfway to his mouth. "What, really? ... you want to go on a date? ... _with me_?"

"Yes," Niall managed, laughing a little, fighting the urge to cross the room and throw himself at Harry, trying his best to stay cool. I want to go on a date. _with you_."

"Yes, of course. Of course I'll go on a date with you." Harry was grinning happily now, and Niall could feel himself grinning too. He was pretty sure he grinned his entire way to work that morning, mind on Harry. Planning out where he'd take them on their second first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who's been reading this and leaving comments and kudos! You all are the best and I appreciate the fact that you're taking the time to read what I write. And I'm also very happy that everyone likes it so much!


	19. Chapter 19

Harry was shocked. He hadn't expected Niall to ask him on a date, in fact he already had plans of asking Niall on a date himself. He had planned to ask him on December 31st, New Year's Eve. He was going to kiss Niall at midnight and then give him the last note, asking him to start the new year with him. But of course, life wasn't a fairy tale and people were unpredictable. He wasn't complaining though, he was incredibly excited that Niall had been the one to ask him on a date, especially so soon. He hadn't been sure that he'd be able to wait three more weeks to really kiss Niall. And go out on a date with him too. The date was the most important part, but lately whenever he was with Niall, he found it hard to not think about kissing him. They'd been touching a lot lately, kissing each other's heads and cheeks, but never on the lips. They had even slept in the same bed last night, but only their clothed bodies had touched. When Niall had asked him to go on a date, he had wanted to cross the kitchen and kiss him right then and there. But he was still feeling pretty tired from having the flu the day before, and he was sure his breath smelled terrible, so he had refrained. Thank god for having the flu, it had kept him from kissing Niall before they'd even been on a date. 

It was Thursday and Harry was laying in his bed binge watching Food Network shows, waiting for the others to get off work and make their way to his apartment. Since he still wasn't feeling completely better, and he wanted to take the rest of the week to rest so he'd be able to go back to work on Monday, e'd asked them all if they wanted to spend the night in instead of going to Thirsty's. They had all agreed and were coming to his apartment bringing food to share, things Harry probably wouldn't want to eat with his stomach still feeling a bit queasy.

N: how r u feeling??  
H: Pretty amazing ;)  
N: i meant ur health. but me too :)  
H: I'm feeling okay, I took a shower after you left, I've been laying down ever since.  
N: have u eaten?  
H: Nothing since the toast you fed me this morning.  
N: u should eat  
H: Don't wanna.  
N: i'll bring you something later  
H: Something more exciting than crackers and toast?  
N: yes  
H: You're the best :*  
N: :) :) :)  
H: :) :) :) :) :)

Louis and Aidan were the first to show up that evening, they brought chips and probably way more beer than they needed. Louis practically burst through the door, bags of chips swinging wildly in his hands yelling "YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH NIALL! NIALL ASKED YOU ON A DATE!" Aidan followed behind him, lugging the beer and shaking his head at his overly excited boyfriend. 

"Liam?" Harry asked. 

"Liam." 

"And Niall took care of you yesterday when you were sick!"

"Yes."

"Did he take care of you, or did he _take care of you _?" Louis asked, waggling his eyebrows.__

__"You're ridiculous." Aidan said, laughing. Louis reached out and pinched him. "Hey! you are, and you know it."_ _

__"Yes, and that's what makes me so charming." Louis turned back toward Harry, "Now, tell me all about it."_ _

__"We laid in bed and watched movies, I threw up. Then this morning he asked me on a date. It wasn't very exciting." Harry answered._ _

__"Wait. He asked you this morning? As in he stayed the night this morning?" Louis was practically yelling again. Just then there was a knock on the door and Harry chose to ignore Louis in favor of opening it. Liam and Zayn made their way in, Liam carrying three pizzas. "NIALL SPENT THE NIGHT HERE!" Louis was definitely yelling again._ _

__"What?!" Liam exclaimed._ _

__Zayn punched Harry playfully on the shoulder. "Alright!" Aidan was laughing again and Louis was still beside himself._ _

__"Guys, I had the _flu_." And of course Niall chose then to let himself into Harry's apartment with his spare key. _ _

__"You have a key! Oh my god, he has a key!"_ _

__Harry rolled his eyes, "Leave while you still can, Ni."_ _

__He was carrying three grocery bags, looking back and forth between Harry and the others. "What?"_ _

__"You slept over last night? You didn't mention that!" Liam blurted._ _

"I stayed because he was sick, it's not like we were fucking. He had the flu, he was kinda gross." He looked at Harry "No offense, love." 

After Harry's brain was done melting at the pet name, he spoke up. "No, that's exactly what I was trying to tell them." He walked over to Niall and tried peeking into his grocery bags then, hoping his friends would drop the subject. He could feel all of them watching him and Niall. "Did you bring me food?" 

"Yes, I brought you food" he said, handing Harry one of the bags he was holding. 

"Thank you," he leaned over and kissed Niall on the cheek and then sat down on the couch to go through the bag. There were three different flavors of applesauce, two different flavors of rice and a bunch of bananas. All of which were better options, in his opinion, than crackers or toast. His friends were still watching them silently. Harry took out a bag of rice and threw it at Louis. "Make this for me," he whined. 

"Why me?!"

"Cause you're being annoying." Niall chimed in.

"Ohhh, so they _were_ telling the truth about not fucking. If they had, Niall wouldn't be so cranky. He's much happier when he's getting laid. You should fix that, Styles." Harry threw a banana at him and they all laughed. 

After they ate, Harry was outnumbered on movie choice and they ended up watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. "I don't understand why we can't watch a Christmas movie," Harry argued, "It's December!"

"Because they're boring." Zayn said, and the rest of them agreed. Harry sat back on the couch, feeling tense. He really did hate horror movies, he couldn't understand why anyone would want to watch them. Niall took a seat on the couch next to him, and leaned back against the arm, Harry made himself comfortable in the space between his legs and watched the movie from the safety of Niall's arms, spending most of it with his head hidden against his chest. 

Niall stayed over again that night, the never really discussed it, but he was still there when everyone else left. And when Harry started dozing off, Niall nudged him and got him to wake up just long enough to get him into bed and sleepily mutter "You're staying, right?"

"Yeah," Niall answered, and crawled into the bed next to Harry, wrapping his arms around him and falling asleep almost immediately. 

********************

It was Saturday afternoon and Harry was waiting for Niall to pick him up at his apartment for their date. He was wearing clothes that Louis had helped him pick out earlier, black skinny jeans, a green jumper, and silver shoes. Niall had refused to tell him where they were going, but he said to dress casual and wear a coat. So he was dressed casual and his coat and hat were waiting for him by the door. He was trying to convince himself he wasn't nervous, but it wasn't working, his palms were even starting to get sweaty. Niall was so important to him and he didn't want to screw this up, not for a second time. Lost in his thoughts, he jumped at the knock on his door, and then got up to answer it. When he opened the door Niall was standing there in a pair of grey skinny jeans, a black coat, and gloves, carrying a bouquet of bright purple irises. "You brought me flowers." Harry stated, taking them from Niall who was blushing now. 

"I did. Hi Harry." 

"Hi Niall," Harry smiled and they moved into the kitchen so he could put the flowers in a vase with water. 

"Ready?" Niall asked once he was done."

"Ready." Harry replied, and they left his apartment, Harry putting his coat and hat on on the way out the door. 

Once they were out on the street, Niall took Harry's hand and started steering him in the direction of downtown. "We're doing something I know you'll love." Niall said, smiling over at Harry. 

"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"There's a winter carnival downtown, we can spend some time there, and then we're going somewhere nice to eat." 

"Where?"

"You'll see!"

"Niall."

"Harry."

"Hmmph." Niall reached over and pinched Harry's side. "Heyyy."

"Just enjoy the day, okay? I have everything planned, and I know you'll like it. So don't worry about it."

"Okay, I trust you." Harry said, squeezing his hand. "Do you think there's gonna be a ferris wheel at the carnival?" 

"I know there is," Niall answered, and it wasn't long before they were on the ferris wheel, rotating in a large circle, Harry sitting with an arm around Niall. 

Harry was looking everywhere, and kicking his feet, causing the seat to rock. "We're so high up! You can see so far, it's beautiful."

"Yes, at least the last sight we see before we plummet to our death will be a pretty one," he said, placing a hand on Harry's knee in an attempt to get him to stop rocking the seat.

"We're not gonna die, we can't. We haven't even finished our date. We haven't had our goodnight kiss yet." 

"You think I'm gonna kiss you goodnight, Haz?" Niall asked teasingly. 

"I'm counting on it," Harry replied seriously, and Niall laughed. 

After the ferris wheel they rode a carousel, bumper cars, and a tilt-a-whirl. Then Harry won Niall a stuffed bear by hitting a bell really hard with a hammer, and Niall won Harry a stuffed snowman by squirting water into the mouth of a ceramic clown. Niall had bought Harry a giant bag of pink, sugary cotton candy, and was eating it as they walked around, talking comfortably about anything and everything, and people watching. Harry had been afraid they would end up not having anything to talk about, or being too nervous to be real, but things were going incredibly well. The conversation was flowing and Harry was having a great time, and if the constant grin on Niall's face was to go by, it seemed like he was having a great time too.

"Wanna go in the fun house?" Niall asked, Harry agreed and they got in line for a winter themed fun house. It was warm inside, but the colors and textures simulated sparkling ice and snow. It started with a bridge which swayed as they walked on it, gripping each others hands, Harry laughing when Niall almost tripped stepping off of it. Next was a room filled with mirrors that made them look strange, tall, short, features obscured. They spent a while looking at themselves in the different mirrors and laughing, Niall snapped a picture of them looking particularly silly in a mirror that made them look squashed and round and posted it to his Instagram. After that was a long spinning tunnel which had them falling all over each other trying to walk through it, laughing at how clumsy they felt. After a few failed attempts which had Harry standing in place refusing to move, Niall managed to get his footing and ignore the strange affects the rotating tunnel had on his equilibrium and he told Harry to close his eyes. 

"Why?" Harry asked, swaying to the left as the tunnel rotated, struggling to right himself, arms flailing wildly. He was annoyed that he couldn't ignore the effects of the tunnel like Niall had been able too, but he also found the fact that he was struggling so much kind of funny. 

Niall chuckled and reached out a hand to steady Harry. "Cause if you close your eyes, you'll be able to walk and I can lead you out." 

So Harry did what he was told and closed his eyes. He could feel Niall getting closer, he had taken his hand now and was pulling him forward, however instead of making it out of the tunnel, he suddenly felt himself pressed up against Niall's chest. "Keep your eyes closed." Niall told him, and just when Harry was about to ask why, he felt Niall's lips press against his cheek. Then his opposite cheek and his chin, the bridge of his nose, the tip of his nose, the corner of his lips. Harry shivered, Niall had one hand resting on his hip and the other on his face, thumb stroking down his jaw. He kissed the corner of Harry's lips on the other side, and Harry could feel Niall's breath ghosting over his lips when he whispered, "I've been wanting to do this all day." 

They may have been standing in that tunnel for ten minutes, or ten years, Harry wasn't sure. Because the moment Niall's lips touched his, softly at first, just a peck. Pulling back only slightly and then kissing Harry again more firmly, lips working against his in a way Harry had missed, a way that was all Niall. Harry felt like he was floating. He felt like there was nothing and no one else in the world except Niall and this moment. He savored the way Niall's lips felt against his, loved the way Niall stroked the bare skin just above the waist of his pants with his thumb, loved the way his head was soaring and his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

He parted from Niall slightly, opening his eyes and looking into the clear blue of Niall's which seemed to sparkle in the weirdly lit tunnel. Without speaking, Niall took a step backwards and pulled Harry forward, Harry kept eye contact with Niall and the two of them made it out of the tunnel without a problem. "We made it," Niall stated, still standing in front of Harry, torsos nearly touching. 

"You kissed me," Harry replied, wrapping an arm around Niall's waist and pulling him flush against his body. 

Niall grinned and looked up at Harry, a rosy red color rising in his cheeks. A slightly mischievous look reflected in his eyes, "I know." And he kissed Harry again, tongue running over his bottom lip, Harry parted his lips and let Niall slip his tongue between them, sliding against his own. His heart was still thumping loudly, and he felt like he could barely get a grasp on his thoughts. Like his brain didn't want to be aware of anything except the feeling of Niall's mouth on his own. Someone cleared their throat behind him and Harry broke apart from Niall, he could feel himself blushing now. He felt like he had forgotten other people existed on the earth for a moment. He turned and found two teenage girls staring at them. "Oops," Niall said, and pulled Harry out of the way so the girls could pass, "sorry about that." 

"It's fine, we didn't want to have to interrupt but it seemed weirder to just stand there and watch," one of the girls said, shrugging. And they walked past Harry and Niall to continue on their way through the fun house. 

"We should probably keep walking now," Harry said, taking Niall's hand again. 

"I was happy just to stand here and make out, but if you insist."

"We can make out later, somewhere we won't be interrupted." 

"At dinner?"

"There'll be a waiter."

"Then they can _wait_ til' we're finished." 

Harry shook his head at Niall's pun, and Niall just smiled innocently back at him. "I was thinking more like my couch... or yours, I'm not picky." 

"I like the way you think," Niall said. 

"You just like making out." 

"Yes, and the way you think. I like you for your brains, Styles. The making out is just a perk." Niall squeezed his hand and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, Harry didn't think he could stop smiling if he tried.

The date was going perfect and he couldn't possibly be any happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The other half of the date is going to be in Niall's POV! I hope you guys like it so far :)


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